controlled crying?

[calcium]

My dd is now 10 months and wakes several times a night (has always done) but now screams and will not go back to sleep. She gets up sometimes 5am but usually 6am for the day.

Going to bed is fine but she doesn't stay asleep. She is also still in our room which I would like to stop.

I am told that I should try controlled crying but am so tired all the time (I also work) I just don't think I'm up to it. The room we are going to put her in is one and a half floors down so it will mean me running up and downstairs in the night which I want to avoid if possible.

I have my mother in law staying and thought this would be a good time to try to move her as I will have moral support.

Have any of you tried it and if so did it work and for how long did you have to do it for?

I really need to do this but seem to keep finding excuses to put it off, please help!!

For those successful with cc can you tell me what the settling routine is.

My ds goes down well at between 7.00/7.30 each evening. He may cry but it is never longer than 7 minutes and I actually found that when I set up this routine going into him was worse as he went into a complete state. Therefore, in the evenings I don't go in to him but can tell if he is so worked up he needs me to. He will often vomit if he cries too much and has a cold. Anyway, he now understands what bedtime is as we have the routine down pat and there isn't an issue any longer.

The problem I have is I weaken during the night and give him a bottle etc. I don't take him out of his cot but I want to stop this. I've tried watering it down and he doesn't like that or just plain water he complains about at night. Should I go cold turkey and not give him anything. If so, what do I do as the settling routine. Am I right in thinking you lay them back down in their cot talk to them and then leave even if they are still upset? Or do I have to stay in the room with him until he stops crying and falls back to sleep?

He currently has a cold at the moment and I think he may be teething although I can't see any and he won't open his mouth. He is 14 months at the moment. Is it worth trying this now even though he may be teething as I assume we have a long way to go before the teeth giving him pain actually come through?

Meanmum,

Firstly, if your DS is ill, I wouldn't bother attempting to do CC until he is fully recovered.

With regards to feeding, I wouldn't feed mine personally if they had shown that they could sleep for longer. (My GP once told me that older babies latch onto feeding at night as a habit - he suggested it would be like me waking in the night, and DH being there, shoving chocolate in my mouth LOL - you'd keeping waking up for it then!).

My friend used to offer her child water in the night instead of milk - and she did get fed up with being offered water.

If they woke up in the night, I would go in, whisper to them and then lie them back down to sleep. (Same routine I used to settle them at the beginning of the night).

As I say, I wouldn't do the CC if ill - with regards to teething, I've been really lucky with my 3 in that the worst time for teething for them was with their first teeth (4/6 months) and so I hadn't done CC at that point. Their later teeth came through without any problems for them.

Thanks Slinky. I know my ds is waking for food only because it is a habit. He doesn't have a dummy (thinks they are toys) so wants it because he's always had it and it comforts him back to sleep.

Can't wait until the teething stops when he will get the shock of his life. In the past I've never lain him back down and patted his back so I will be trying that. I just have to be prepared for the few sleepless nights. I must admit the problem is my own making as I have been too lazy to stop feeding him in the night due to getting up for work. I don't ever feel tired by sleepless nights but just found it easier.

I bought a grobag due to recommendation and this works well as he is now no longer cold. It's just the waking in the night I have to crack.

We did this on holiday last week, albeit inadvertantly (sp?). A dinner party, DS2 (11 months) wouldn't settle in bed, neither would he settle when brought down for cuddles at the table. So we left him to cry between 9 and 10:30pm, and it seems to have cured him of his 60 million-times-a-night waking.
So far.

Thanks all. I started the cold turkey routine with him tonight. I didn't give him his bottle to go to sleep with as I want him to realise he doesn't need to drink at night and he drank loads about 1 hour before he went to bed. I'm not going to give him milk tonight just reassure him I am there. He's over his sickness now so I feel I can start this knowing it is just habit and not necessity asking for a drink.

Meanmum, has it worked? I started this with dd (8 months) last Friday night. First night she cried for 1.5 hours, second about 3/4 of an hour, since then for about 10 mins max! And she has stopped waking in the night, I hear her stir and cry for a couple of mins and then go back to sleep. She is also sleeping in the day properly for the first time.

Just one question, I thought that after a week she would be going to bed happily and not crying at all. I find it rather distressing to always leave her crying in bed. Does the 10 mins of crying carry on or do they eventually stop it?