How important do you think a nap routine is?

[SamJohnsMum]

I've posted quite a bit under 'sleep' recently, which may tell you all that my DS (4 months old) is not sleeping that well. I've read Gina Ford and William Sears and I am currently working my way through the baby whisperer. We have a good bedtime routine, I think, but naps are currently completely random and rather short (unless I cuddle him all the way through). We do lots of different things - mum and baby group, lunches with the NCT girlies etc - and I guess I'm being selfish because I don't want to stop doing anything because it conflicts with his nap routine and I'm hoping I could do something slightly different every day.

Anyway, my question to you all is: how important is it to have a fairly rigid nap routine?

Thanks!

I think sleeping is important, but not a routine as such. And I really don't understand why babies have to have all their naps in the cot - surely taking your child out in the pram and letting them sleep then is much healthier for both of you? I'm like Anna8888, I loved being able to be out and about and seeing people/shopping while dd slept soundly in her pram and we both got fresh air at the same time!

O I'm also sleep obsessed. My dd used to literally sleep anywhere it was great I could go out all day, meet my friends for lunch and she would just sleep happily in her pram.

She is now 19 weeks old and she is so aware of her surroundings she tries to stay awake if we are out, or, she will just drop of for 10 mins or so, resulting in a grumpy baby.

I've read loads of books, gina, baby whisperer, healthy sleep etc and tried to not get too bogged down in routine. having said that though she definately sleeps better at thome in her cot and she really is grumpy when she is overtired.

I was getting bit stir crazy though, staying home al day every day was really doing me no goodso have made a compromised loosish routine that works for us.

I usually wake her at half seven (bliss, she has just started sleeping through again) and about an hour and half after she wakes she is ready for a nap, this is usualy 1 to 2 hours. Then after another 2 hours she naps again hopefully for another 1 to 2 hours. This is all over and done with by about half 2ish so we tend to go out then as she still needs catnaps in the afternon, she cant really handle more than 2 hours awake. So then she sleeps on the move, in the car or pram.

I must admit I would much prefer to go out
earlier but its a compromise and my dd is much easier to handle in the evenings.

So anyway after a long waffly post (told you Im sleep obsessed too!) in answer to the op for my dd naps have been really important and she does well on a loose routine. I found the baby whisperer really helpful.

Mind you i have no idea how I would handle another baby, vcant imagine a toddler would put up with sitting quietly at home until half two every day!!

I really like Healthy sleep habits happy child and more or less follow it's ideas....
no more than about 2 hours awake before a nap, early bedtime. If I want to go out then I do bt try and time it around DS and accept he doesn't sleep well out and about and will get grumpy.
It depends on the age but by about 4 months he really needed to sleep in his cot and dragging him out with me and missing naps made him totally hysterical. I do feel a bit trapped in the house sometimes but he gets so overwrought if he doesn't nap well that a lot of the time it's not worth the hassle.

I was one of those terrible 'put myself first' mothers and just went out during the day when I felt like it - DS could nap in my arms or buggy as and when. I did try staying at home some days to get him to sleep in his cot, but it didn't improve his night-time sleep (which was shocking btw), so I decided I would rather be out than home being lonely trying desperately to settle a baby in a cot he didn't want to sleep in.

At about 6 months he settled into more of a 2 nap routine but I didn't do anything to make this happen really. I used to have a shower/do housework during the morning one and then we'd go out and he'd usually sleep in his buggy for the afternoon one. It was only after a year when he dropped to one nap (after lunch) that he really seemed to sleep better in his cot, so used to come home and put my feet up while he napped in the afternoon.

I'm 30 weeks pg with DC2 and have a feeling that this one's going to have to be an on the road napper too...

I'm all for going out but my DS goes completely apeshit if he's overtired and doesn't nap at home and I find it incredibly stressful if I'm out. So, for me it's easier to try to go out around naps....and he likes a lot of naps. hopefully it'll get easier.

I am all for making sure DD gets naps and not going out when she needs one - although I will take her for walks in the pram at her nap times -but I won't go round the shops as I don't want her to wake up.

DD is 5 mths and IMO and IME, if you get a baby to have good, regular naps throughout the day, they will sleep better at night. She has slept through the night since she was 16 wks, has regular naps and a bedtime of 7pm at the latest. That way, I am ensuring she gets good sleep and then i can have 'me' time to relax from 7pm.

If I dragged her out with me here, there and everywhere during the day, she would not sleep properly, scream her head off as she would get overtired and grumpy and it would be no fun.

Some babies don't go into meltdown like dd does if she does not get her naps at the right timem but from what I have seen from friends and reading on mn, people who do not have a good nap routine are often the ones whose babies don't sleep well at night.

stop reading books..just let the baby sleep when he wants to.

definitely agree that it depends on the child.

DD prefers to be home between 12.30-2.30 to nap in her cot. I would mush rather be out and about! Problem is that she doesn't nap well out and about, then gets overtired at bedtime, with a 5am start the next day being the likely consequence. So we take it in turns - sometimes favouring what I want to do, but more often staying home for her to sleep.

I would love to have a baby that needed less daytime sleep (although I'm sure I'll be saying the opposite when she drops her nap ).

i think like the other say it's only important if it is to you.

Personally for me it was important, it kept me sane! but made me slightly insane especailly with my first if he would not follow the routine to teh book! I used Gina very rigidly with my first, and a bit more loosly with me second - they are both fab sleepers now.

But i found my babies were miserable if they didn't sleep lots during teh day and i then got impatient - so i think it depends what your like as a person. I needed that hour in the morning to have a shower, housework and that 2 hours at lunch to chill out - it made me a better mummy. However, it did rule my life, especially with my first. But i didn't mind really as i felt i needed it.

However, i always envied people whose kids would sleep anywhere, but i guess that is becuase they did not obsess with a routine. And their kids just fell into one.

Good luck just follow you instinct

or their kids never fall into a routine and just become terrible night time sleepers. People say "stop reading books, let baby sleep when he wants to" as if I'm some nap/routine obsessed first timer but IME my DS does not sleep well out and about, in fact he doesn't sleep for more than 20 mins and then wakes up even more grumpy. I do let him sleep when he wants and he wants to sleep in his cot, which involves staying in a lot.
They are all different and for me what works is making sure we are at home very roughly between 9-11, 1-3 and 4-5. Otherwise all hell breaks loose. He's the one dictating this, not me.

@ Macaco - haha completely agree... I've seen snidey comments where people make out those of us who put our babies in gasp a cot, in a darkened room are all fanatical GF readers or something... But no my DD set this pattern I am just her enabler!

I started putting her to bed at 7pm... But we had utter meltdown so now she goes to bed at 6pm... If she misses a nap or only gets 45 minutes that bedtime gets dragged screaming forward to 5pm... Staying at home all day catering to her sleep habit is the only way to get her to stay up until a half decent hour! God knows what we're going to do when the clocks go back... And I'm dreading Fireworks season starting!!

Oh becky77 i totally know what you mean, part of me thinks how on earth did I get to a place where the clocks going back (1 bloody hours difference in a day) could make me stress so much but there you go its where im at!

My dd needs her naps so thats what we do, dark room, cot the lot! My dd is happy and I get to mess about on the net so its not all bad!

Still though im left with the thought, how on earth would you do it with two?.........

I think i'll go and check out the only child thread lol

When I was on maternity leave I found ds was generally pretty good at getting naps in the pram/buggy, particularly on bus journeys. He still does sometimes, and we even still take him out to get him to nap when I think it's time (getting on for 3 hours since he last slept).

But we also had a routine which involved more afternoon groups and morning naps after the first few months.

He usually naps at the childminder in the week now, apparently it has been known for him to sleep for 3/4 hours there though it's not normally so long.

I tried putting him in his cot but have found he often sleeps better in a room where he can see people, he'll open his eyes, check on us and doze off again.

Depends on the child. With ds1 it was absolutely vital. The world would start to fall apart if we veered too much off schedule.
With ds2 I'm able to be quite flexible - but he won't sleep in the pushchair so I need to make sure we spend enough time at home over the course of the day for him to squeeze enough kipping in.
Both boys needs have changed as they've grown too, so what worked when they were tiny didn't later. (Just to make life simple!)

I recently came across a piece of terminology on here that I hadn't heard of before

demand sleeping

Well that's what I've always done with my now 22month old.

He's a fantastic night time sleeper btw, but I assess his needs throughout the day. If I WANT him to nap at certain times, I deliberately wear him out with a carefully chosen activity beforehand.

Forget wanting a social life for ME, - he's VERY VERY busy during the week and we don't do on Tuesday, what we did on Monday, so he'd miss out if naps were at the same time every day!

But I DON'T MAKE MY DS NAP. I wish I could! That would be fabulous. I soooooooooooo envy people who can take their baby out and let them "sleep on the move" DS refuses point blank to sleep in the pushchair. If I try it he will

1. go mental cos he's tired but doesn't want to sleep in the pushchair. (And I'm talking full on child abuse screams here, like I sticking pins in his nether regions)
2. eventually pass out
3. wake up max 30 mins later in an even worse state and repeat from the beginning.

DS doesn't nap at the same time everyday, again I wish he would, I could plan my few outings. But more or less there is an early morning one, a lunchtime one and an afternoon one. Not at the moment as he's got a cold and is teething, so it's anyone's guess. Becky77 lol at "enabler" that's exactly it...this "routine developed from what seemed to work with him. If he's tired he sleeps well in the cot. I know roughly when he'll probably be tired so I don't go out then. That's it. Some people really do seem to think people like me are chaining them to the beds in the dark at exactly the same time 3 times a day.

Sorry rant over...MMcK that wasn't aimed at you at all, your DS sounds very much like mine.

I have tried the nap routine so many times. I watch avidly for tired signs (DS very distinctly rubs eyes and grumbles)
I've tried letting him sleep in the sling, I've tried the darkened room and cot thing, I've tried letting him sleep on me, I've tried tiring him out. In the last 8 months I have tried everything, and the result is that DS will sleep when he's ready (mostly).

Sometimes this is 1.5 hours after waking, sometimes its 6.
Sometimes I stay at home all day (I did this for several weeks, only going out after naps) waiting to pounce on tired signs and he'll nap for 2 lots of 45 minutes all day. Other times I can go out and he'll sleep for an hour in a noisy pub! (or finish his nap even though Rhythm time started 15 minutes ago!)

Its even worse because if I stay at home all day trying to get him to sleep, the poor lad is even grumpier because he's bored out of his brain! He's been like this since he was 3-4 months old and just gets worse as he gets older (there are only so many times he can crawl across the lounge)

We try to stay in for one nap, and be out for the other. This doesn't always work but we do the best we can, and it seems to be the best compromise. Then there's the added compromise of fitting in with my work. He reacts differently with his auntie that looks after him.

If someone could tell me a way to keep a 9 month old entertained and napping regularly, I'd be quite grateful (because then I wouldn't need to go out to work because I could do it at home during his miraculous nap times)

Anyway, the result of this massive rant is that I don't think a nap routine is important for everyone. It works for some but the rest of us have to manage as well as we can.