8 month old refusing cot

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Any advice or similar stories please.

our 8 month old has recently started to cry when going into his cot. Sleep has always been a mixed bag for him. He’s EBF and has always been fed to sleep. Hated next to me to begin with, but most newborns do. We lent in to it, gave him cuddles when needed and by 3/4 months he was sleeping through. Teething and illness at 6 months meant very disruptive nights and we’ve never gone back to a full night bar a handful of times. He has 4 teeth broken through now and they have bothered him massively. However, it’s previously led to more wakings but now he started crying on transfer. Is the normal? If so, how long does it last?

I have taken him to drs to rule out anything I could be missing but I’ve been putting it down to teething since dr said he is fine. However, although it started when he was 7.5 months it could be the 8 month regression?

im very reluctant to do cry it out as we’ve always been there if he needed cuddles but no sleep his hard for all of us. Any advice appreciated.

I had this with my son many years ago - I used the contented baby book sleep training method - it took about a week of hard work and he was back to going to bed like an angel.

Is this the idea that they have a consistent bedtime routine? If so, he has had since 10 weeks (play, bath, cuddle, breastfeed, bed)

Cry it out. Earplugs and white noise.

Really don’t want to cry it out. It’s not really about me hearing it, I just don’t want him to spend time crying without me responding to him

DD was like this. It’s honestly just a case of bfeeding back to sleep and then doing an awkward, extremely slow move between bed/chair and cot while praying they don’t notice. Is the cot in your room? If you keep cot/baby in your room till nearer 12m it will help with transfer and baby will smell/hear that you are still close by and feel more relaxed.

Id never advocate cry it out as studies show that baby has the same level of stress/cortisol but just learns that no one responds to the crying anymore. He’s only trying to communicate a need. It sounds like he is going through a clingy phase. They start to realise when you leave the room at around that age but they can’t understand the concept that you will be back. Coupled with the teething, this is just a normal phase of feeling more anxious and clingy.

It’s exhausting but it will pass and he will fall back into his natural sleep routine. You already have a great bath and bed routine, and babies (mostly) fall into routine themselves with no need to ‘sleep train.’

The wonder weeks is a good book for all the different leaps and regressions and it’s fairly easy to find second hand.

Thank you for this. I have looked into sleep consulting, but it’s very pricey and I expect I’ll be told to let him cry and just pat him to sleep.

Lack of sleep has been very hard for us all. And whilst I’ve always been very responsive with his needs I am considering some sort of sleep training (not CIO)

i think we’ll lean into it for a couple more weeks and then assess again. I don’t want to not respond to him if he needs comfort, as tiring as it is.

His cot is still in our room, although I fear our moving/ snoring etc is waking him more when he’s in a light sleep. But again, I have always been keen to keep him with us till 12m.

thanks again

Where does he sleep for day time naps? Do you have the same problem?
Are you trying to transfer whilst asleep? What about putting him straight in whilst drowsy - stay with him, sit next to the cot, leave an hand on him and pat him if necessary.

Had one like this. hated cot from birth so put her on a mattress on the floor and she was happier. I think she was panicking because she couldn't get to me. so considered the cot a prison. Downside was she often came into my bed.

he Contact naps during the day. I have tried the drowsy but awake. He screams so much and for so long he ends up waking himself up more and takes a long time to settle again. He does end up getting in with me but I’m not enjoying bed sharing at all

The trouble is the more you respond, the more he will cry. The question is, who is in charge?

My personal belief is that at his age (8m) sleep isn’t about asserting who’s “in charge” but more about letting him know he’s safe when he’s asleep because I’m there. I absolutely believe that CIO can work if your goal is to get baby to sleep. However, my goal is that he will sleep in his cot. I have no expectation that he will sleep through the night, since his developmentally normal for him to wake at this age.

He cries a lot less when I respond. He has always slept in his cot from birth but seems to be refusing it suddenly. I suspect he’s going through a leap. I will continue to respond to his needs as safely as possible for us all. I do appreciate everyone’s suggestions and it’s nice to know I’m not alone and other babies have been through similar stages!

Hi OP. I am in exactly the same boat. 8 months old, refusing cot and similar philosophy to you about responsiveness.

I stopped feeding to sleep about 6 weeks ago, with no issue. But he still relies on me holding him for him to get to sleep. I need to get him to settle in the cot as when I try to co sleep he now crawls away across the bed and I’m afraid of him falling out when I’m asleep. And now I’m so tired that I’ve fallen asleep holding him in the chair a couple of times recently which I don’t think is safe.

I just bought the Sarah Ockwell Smith gentle sleep book to see if there are any words of wisdom in there. I’ll share if I find any magic!!

I’m sorry you’re feeling so exhausted. I know how hard it can be. I’m lucky that llnine isn’t get crawling and doesn’t roll at night so I don’t have too much fear about him falling out of bed.

Have you got anyone who can help in the night? So you can get some quality rest and to avoid sleeping in the chair with baby?

its so tough but hopefully sleep will improve for both our babies soon

I’d really recommend a floor bed - you can lie with them while they fall asleep and then move away. Just make sure the room is baby proofed. Its worked so well for us and we now have a two year old happy to sleep by himself. No sleep training at all.

also there can be a drop in sleep needs which will make bedtime harder so maybe less day sleep? I usually find if really tired at bedtime then there’s definitely no waking on transfer.

It’s rough, thinking back I always put a hot water bottle in the cot before they went in so it was warm and also when I lifted them out for a feed so it stayed warm(took bottle out when they were in it). I also had something I’d worn and needed washing in the cot so it had a familiar smell. They do have to learn to settle themselves, it takes time but good luck it will come

Hi, has anything improved for you? Ours is still not sleeping very well. He spend so most of him night with me in my bed and if we’re lucky has a couple of hours in his cot

Sorry for the delay in replying - mainly because I’ve been too exhausted to post. No real improvement here. The Ockwell Smith book recommends co sleeping but says if that’s not the route you want to follow (which I don’t really) then it’s important to get them into their cot while awake. I’ve not managed it yet. I did buy a Chicco next to me forever cot and tried it a couple of nights ago but he wasn’t happy with that either. It’s me holding him that he wants, not lying next to me!

Pick up/put down method? It has worked for mine (with some time and consistency) to send the message that cot = sleep time and it doesn't involve leaving them to cry.

So sorry you’ve not had any improvement. Whale taken to safely co sleeping. It’s just the only way we’ve been able to sleep. Still telling myself it’s a very long phase 😅

So sorry you’ve not had any improvement. Whale taken to safely co sleeping. It’s just the only way we’ve been able to sleep. Still telling myself it’s a very long phase 😅

So sorry you’ve not had any improvement. Whale taken to safely co sleeping. It’s just the only way we’ve been able to sleep. Still telling myself it’s a very long phase 😅

So sorry you’ve not had any improvement. Whale taken to safely co sleeping. It’s just the only way we’ve been able to sleep. Still telling myself it’s a very long phase

Glad you have found a way to get more sleep. That is really great.

I would co sleep too but how do you manage for the first part of the night and if you need to get up in the night to use the loo? The former I guess is solved by starting him in his own cot, but the latter I don’t see there is a solution! It’s why I bought the next to me, but that doesn’t seem to be close enough for his liking!

He sleeps with/ on me for day time naps. We had tried your suggestion a few times. It worked sometimes but other times she just started crying so much. Very difficult but really appreciate the advice. Thanks ☺️

Hi, thanks for this. I have looked into floor beds and I am interested. I’m worried he will get out and move around when I’m not there. Not too much of a worry in the day when I have the monitor on but really worried about night when I’m sleeping. How old was your little one when you used a floor bed. Mines nearly 10 months now