Baby/toddler sleep improved without sleep training

[SnugTurtle]

Just out of curiosity. When did your baby/toddler sleep start to improve? And I'm not talking sleeping through, but just longer stretches.

At 10 months , still wakes up every 2.5hrs. We co-sleep and bf, rocking for naps. Not willing to sleep train, it's just not for my baby. I try to do drowsy but awake for cot naps since baby was 3 months. But again I'm asking out of curiosity, I know every baby is different.

Not dramatic. I didn't ask for help in a post, I just wanted to hear from people who didn't sleep train and their experience. As I said I'm glad it worked for you.

Hi OP

Totally fair enough not to sleep train. I won’t be. I’m happy with this decision based upon the facts I have read. So I am similarly holding out for when it naturally gets better. Just wanted to comment this as I see you are having to justify why you aren’t

Also wanted to jump on and say your experience and thought process sounds much like mine.

My LO is 22 months. We co-sleep and BF. Never been a good sleeper and it really does go through phases on just how ‘bad’ it is. However, it has improved! There is light at the end of the tunnel.

With ds now 24 I did sleep train at that age as I just could not cope anymore and it saved my sanity. Ds now 18 I did not sleep train as I just felt more able to cope with the huge lack of sleep. He woke often in the night until 4. He then often came into our bed until he was 7. He actually needs little sleep so was a different character.

At 2.5 she's finally started sleeping through as her normal! She got better at about 1.5 years but would still wake, just didn't stay awake for hours on end like before! We've had phases of good nights mixed in with illnesses and ups and downs, she's been in her own room since 6 months and dropped the night feeds at 8 months. The key is consistency, and knowing that it does (eventually!!) get better. Mine dropped her naps quite early which also helped! It's a battle but hang in there! Someone told me that new habits like patting to sleep, leaving them to settle themselves etc need to be given longer - lots of people give up after a couple of nights, it statistically takes a baby 2-3 weeks to get used to a new habit or routine! Once I had that in my head things became more bearable!

My DD slept through for the first time at 10 months but then didn't do it again for a few weeks. By around 13 months she was sleeping through mostly reliably (except with illness etc). She's almost 2 now and there have been a couple of regressions lasting a few weeks where she's been unsettled again but generally she's a good sleeper.

We didn't co-sleep and I breastfed on demand through the night. At around 10 months I moved her into her own room because she was only waking once or twice a night and my husband was waking her up when he got home from work (night worker).

I would say we didn't sleep train because we never considered any element of 'controlled crying' i.e CIO or the Ferber method. We have always responded promptly to DD waking if she is upset and have always either fed her back to sleep or rocked her. However, we did follow many elements of sleep training i.e adhering to wake windows where possible for naps until she was around 12 months, having a reliable night time routine, incorporating sleep associations like a dark room, a white noise machine, bum patting etc. Sleep training isn't only about leaving a baby to cry, it's about encouraging independent sleep!

Sleep training wasn't for us either, my DD woke a lot from 3 months to 2 years so we bed shared and I breastfed her at every wake. At 2yo I slowly night weaned but continued bed sharing part of the night. Now she's 3.5yo and starts off in her bed then joins us between 1 and 4, she usually falls straight back to sleep in our bed but is sometimes more unsettled which usually coincides with having an earlier night so I think sometimes we're trying for too much sleep, she's always been on the lower end of average for sleep needs.

2.5 years

Could you share the facts you have read?

Thank you!!

Thank you for sharing, yes I agree it's slowly getting better with some dips.

Thank you for sharing

I read BASIS sleep info website from Durham University probably over a year ago. It summarises a lot of research. Babies who were sleep trained learn not to cry and their cortisol levels were found to remain high. I thought it was also there that I had read a study showed the babies were still waking but just no longer signalling. I can’t find that with a quick glance over their website just now so it may have been elsewhere.

I have also read that studies show around the age of two there is no difference in sleep amount between sleep trained and non sleep trained.

I follow a lot of instagram accounts who share studies on normal infant sleep and sleep training etc. I’m sorry it’s just bits I have read over time and I don’t have time currently to hunt stuff out.

But I mean no criticism to people who do sleep train I just wanted to support OP in the decision she has made.

Thank you for sharing. My baby has very good routine, perfect wake windows and naps for his age. And yet, he doesn't sleep at night. I mentioned that I don't want to talk about sleep training, but same as you I guess I am too implementing some elements which don't make my baby cry.

Thank you. Some time ago I read a research about "responsive parenting" that HV recommend, and that's why I say it's not for my baby. He's pretty much a velcro baby and needs me. So even gentle sleep training would make him cry (I know I tried), and this is not what I want. I know people with more chill out babies and can see it working for them.

Thank you for sharing.

Yes, I did read that they need time to get used to things. Thank you

My first was a very colicky / angry baby. We ended up co sleeping because I was so exhausted from waking up every 1.5 hours (minimum). It continued until 18m when we all had flu and I literally had to CIO sleep train because I couldn’t get out of bed due to illness. She slept MUCH better since then, but is still at 2.5y up once or twice in the night (dad resettles).

My second has been a great sleeper since birth. All the “drowsy but awake” stuff made sense with him! He’ll happily put himself to sleep. I have done nothing differently with him (co sleep and BF on demand).

it has taught me two things:

1. It’s not parenting that makes them sleep better, it’s genetics
2. CIO does work, and overall I’m glad I was forced into it as I was dying of lack of sleep after 18m of constant wake ups

Thank you for sharing. My baby was colicky too until 4 months, that's when sleep was the worst.

Yes, at 4m I thought I might actually die of exhaustion. I think it actually made me depressed, looking back

We have DT’s (who are a two person job when they wake at night) and I was going back to very full on work which involved travel and nights away from home. DT’s were starting nursery. DH is a doctor and wouldn’t have worked well without a full night of sleep.

We engaged a sleep consultant who came to the house to work with us. Very gentle and calm process.