At rock bottom. Looking for sleep training advice.

[Lizbiz89]

My 10 month olds sleep is awful. And when I say awful it's now even worse than when he was a newborn. The longest stretch I've ever had with him is 5 hours when he was 10 weeks. Since the 4 month sleep regression it's gotten worse and worse. For example last night he was awake all night from 3am! He has a solid routine now. And I am getting him down in his cot for the first part of the night which is bliss. However he always wakes up around 11 and then he ends to in bed with us where he wakes 3-4 times a night. I have tried sleeping in a bed next to him in his cot but he wakes exactly the same amount of times and I did my back in getting him in and out of the cot so then reverted back to bed sharing 😫. I should say he is breastfed but is eats extremely well in the day now. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm feeling ill with sleep deprivation at this point. Any sleep suggestions would be so appreciated.

@CherryMaple I completely agree with you. Speaking as someone who tried everything but sleep training for 10 months, sometimes you just have to do what you need to do to survive. Sleep deprivation is absolutely awful. At the end of the day we all want what's best for our babies. I've had times where I've been so resentful of my poor little ds because I've been so tired I couldn't think straight. I want him to see a happy mum, not a snappy exhausted sleep deprived mum.

Would you leave a distressed adult to cry themselves to sleep on their own in a different room?

I didn't leave mine to cry. Well, a little but if he cried in distress the noise went through me like an alert sounding the call of nuclear war.

A few things that helped:

A dummy. I was against it originally but I got PND from sleep deprivation so it was a case of needs must. It didn't cause any long term problems and I don't regret it now.

Loud white noise. Weirdly, the louder the better.

Warming the cot up a little with a hot water bottle on cold nights. Obviously taking it away before he went down.

I can't remember what they're called now, but those sleeping bags babies wear.

Sometimes some paracetamol. He couldn't tell me if he was in pain so if he was really unsettled, I'd give it anyway just in case he was teething or had something else niggling him.

Otherwise just co sleeping and feeding to sleep. Not my original intention but it was impossible to get any rest otherwise. Again, it caused no long term problems and he was sleeping entirely alone by the time he was a year old. No regrets there and I'd have planned to co sleep if I'd had another.

@CherryMaple I will always judge someone who leaves a baby to cry themselves to sleep. Some people perceive babies as less than fully human. A lot of people who wouldn't leave a five year old to cry to sleep would inexplicably do this to a baby, who is even more vulnerable and unable to rationalise the abandonment.

This was exactly my experience too. Couldn't cope any more at 9 months and focused on getting to sleep independently rather than by rocking, did it by gentle retreat. She slept through the night on day 3 I think and after 2 weeks, life was completely transformed.