2wks into sleep training and still crying. Does this stop?

[strugglingwithsleep]

We have been doing sleep training (CIO) with our 6 month old son for two weeks. He slept through the night from day one, but continues to really scream and protest before each nap and at bedtime. In the day he will very reluctantly nap for 30 minutes and then wakes and immediately gets upset again.

We're very grateful to have him sleep overnight but it doesn't feel sustainable or fair to him to have hours of crying every day to achieve this.

Has anyone experienced this and found that eventually there is a turning point and the crying reduces?

I am new to mumsnet and may have posted this in the wrong place, apologies if I have!!

Please no comments about our decision to sleep train, we thought very carefully about this.

not completely no, but mostly - at most once or twice a month they would sleep in the day - they sometimes did after swimming

Then they hit the teenage years and would have slept all day every day if that had been an option 😂

Oh God. This is horrifying to read. Your poor son must feel totally abandoned..please don't leave a small baby to cry alone like that. Your comfort is all he knows. Your post has made me feel sick. Poor baby.

So sad, poor baby crying and crying for two weeks … give him a cuddle x

And you haven't thought that carefully about it or you might have realised you could be setting him up with attachment issues for life. You are leaving him for hours of crying a day?! Just barbaric. My little girl is one and has cried for a maximum of maybe ten minutes a day her entire life.

That’s sad. I hope you reconsider.

Your baby wasn't napping at 6 months???

well, I just said, once or twice a month, maybe

I remember seeing a study years ago where they monitored the babies stress so cortisol levels with sleep training and they remained the same the nights they cried and cried and when they settled without crying the babies just learnt that nobody was coming so didn't cry , broke my heart I swore I'd never do it .

Poor little darling. Give it a rest and cuddle your baby. Leaving babies to CIO is neglect and abuse.

Can you not do a more gentle version

ste you actually just walking out and leaving him there

we did this with our 7 month old but never left her crying alone ! We were in the room with her reassuring her and then we’d only leave for short periods - 1 minute, 2 minutes increasing slowly and always going back in

the longest it ever took was 10 mins of being out to the room

within a week we were saying goodnight love you and walking out the room and she’d just go asleep herself !

I didn't put them down for a nap though
This. I don't know why people are so obsessed with nap times. I never had times for my 4 I took their lead. They naturally had a nap if they didn't have one they didn't. I have read people saying they can't go places because of nap times it's ridiculous.

So a sleep in the day once or twice a month, from 6 months old, even in the car/buggy/just on you? Really? A nap is a daytime sleep, it doesn't have to mean tucked up in bed at a specific time.

honestly, I never stopped my babies going to sleep if they wanted to! But they didn't. And they both have fist class master degrees in stem subjects now so I don't think it impaired their development in any way 😂some babies nap, some don't.

I am in my 60s. I nap now!😂but I never did as a baby or child. I can still remember my fathers disappointment in this aspect of me and my siblings.

Not all babies nap. This baby is only sounds like they are sleeping because they are crying themselves into exhaustion.

Totally agree with you. Wouldn’t be possible in our house anyway. We have two older kids who have activities, want to do things and DH and I are active too so we won’t be tied to the house around nap times.

That might have worked for your babies. Not all babies are good at falling asleep when they need it some need more help

Exactly! My little one screams and screams because she wants to nap but just can't sleep on her own. And by then she's already overtired which mean a short nap, cranky days and difficult nights. This is why people have scheduled nap times. To avoid overtiredness for babies who can't put themselves to sleep.

Agreed.

My son is excellent at falling asleep - if I help him a bit. If I don't give him the nudges he needs, he'll howl and fret and STARE MADLY. Gets himself in a right bother.

My sister had twins with very different nap habits, so it's nothing to do with parenting either.

(In fact, the easiest sleeper in our antenatal group has the most anxious mum hands down. Her daughter just eases off to sleep whenever, wherever, but her mum is fretting about everything.)

Luckily I love a good long pram walk, and he's such a hyper and active baby during the day that I appreciate the cuddle breaks doing contact naps. I set up a pension and investment tracker in excel during his last one!

We did CIO at 4 months. Literally saved my life I think. Baby, mum and dad all immeasurably happier almost instantly.
However, night times went pretty quick to no crying but naps didn't. Therefore we pretty quickly decided to continue trying to put him down but just pick him up if he seemed really distressed (basically leaving him to cry enough that we started to understand what the different cries were and could pick him up immediately if he seemed really upset, or leave him if it was a short big shout before sleep or just some moaning that helps him sleep). He's not been a perfect sleeper but we all get enough sleep (he's one now).
We used a sleep consultant who said once they can fall asleep on their own, they should fall asleep within 20 minutes if they are ready to sleep. So for naps we would usually leave him for 20 minutes, pick him up for 20 minutes, then abandon the nap if he still didn't sleep and adjust nap times for future to be a little later.
I'm not sure about night time. Ours sometimes cried but never intensely or for long, or rarely enough that we just picked him up if he did. It's possibly it just isn't working for you and he needs something else?
Maybe due to our picking him up whenever he did cry properly, ours got progressively worse at going to sleep without help. We thought at 9 months we might have to sleep train again and then he suddenly slept through the night and has done since. We rock/hold him to sleep now and it hasn't affected him sleeping through at all .
So I think it's hard to say what's right but don't feel you have to be too rigid, not everything works for everyone. I tried co-sleeping before sleep training but mine wouldn't accept it at all - he never fed to sleep and still had to be rocked, and would usually wake up on the transfer into bed no matter how much he remained on me.
Sorry if I missed any updates, haven't read the comments and responses as I just can't read the nasty people you get on Mumsnet telling you you abused your child if you ever let them cry. All I can say is funnily enough ours has always still cried if something was wrong and there's a difference between sometimes letting a baby cry to get some sleep, and not being a warm and responsive parent generally. So don't listen to anyone saying they learn nobody is coming!

I sleep trained both of my children but what you’re doing just sounds like neglect. Let’s hope you haven’t done irreversible damage

I know this is late but I was shocked reading the responses to OP's question. Such a terribly unsupportive bunch responding here. She didn't come up with the idea of CIO. A host of parents and experts support it. And she's being attacked as though she's deliberately hurting her child—by a pack of wild mothers hiding behind anonymity. Shameful. OP, I'm sorry you had to suffer through this thread. I hope you're doing well now.

Agree with this .