If you sit with your child until they fall asleep...

[Handholdingsleep]

...how old are they?

My eldest is nearly 4 and we still stay with her until she's asleep. We've had a consistent routine since she was tiny and generally speaking she's asleep within 10 mins after the last story, but we have to sit next to her and either hold her hand or just be there. She goes through phases of waking up at night - and is calmly walked back to bed with another hand hold - but at the moment is sleeping through.

I don't mind sitting with her generally speaking - it's a nice time to connect. But she seems to have an anxiety about us leaving and it can be hard when doing solo bedtime if younger child isn't settling easily (also going through a stage of wanting to be cuddled to sleep).

Any tips if you've been there done that/still doing it?

Our DC was ok to be left from 1 until 5 - the anxiety started as school began. Lasted about a year.

The school wasn’t great though and looking back we ought to have moved him sooner than Yr4

Thanks for your reply. Can I ask what you did aged 2?

Thanks all. A pop in/pop out and/or sticker charts might be a good starting point. We did a sticker chart for staying in her bed all night and that took time but has got better and she now sleeps through more than not, and if not can usually work out a reason.

She's not anxious outside of the home - really happy to go off to nursery, to new classes, in playgroups etc without me guiding her. But at home she just wants me with her all the time, even in the day she needs to see me near.

I co-slept, and like being in with my child. We have our own beds now, but he chats for ages before falling asleep. Some nights are tough, but we’ve always gone to bed at the same time (late) since he was tiny. I get mornings to myself.
However, more for him, I want him to have his own space now he’s 4. I’m thinking we might tuck him in with a book, but he’s very lively & will get up & play, or come in & chat to us.
I was the same, as a child, and eventually my mum figured out that reading in bed was my thing. And she’s put me & sister in together so we’d laugh & chat until we fell asleep.

We did 'pop outs'. Literally said I am popping out to turn off the light, take the washing to the basket etc. and return. We did a few of them and we also over time stretched them in length. After a few weeks he is was happy for us to say goodnight and leave. He still doesn't want the door closed but I certainly don't mind that. It also meant that he started self soothing over night if he wakes up. So he hasn't woken us up in a long while.

It has also made a difference overall in his confidence and tiredness.