6mo Baby Waking 10x A Night

[UrsulaBeresfordTodd]

Please someone help me. My EBF 6mo has been waking 5-10 times a night for the past 4-5 weeks. HV came over the other day to discuss weaning and I asked for advice on the sleep but she just said it’s normal for baby to want mum. She has gone through a growth spurt recently she said which could have caused the frequent waking. I don’t think it’s normal for a baby of this age to not be able to string 2 hours of sleep together. Last night I was awake 8 times, the longest spell of sleep being 1.5 hours and the shortest 20 mins. Please can you share your practical tips for what on Earth I do to stop this madness, as it is affecting everything and I feel absolutely unhinged with exhaustion.

Just in advance of some possible questions:

1. not FTM, I have a teenage daughter who was formula fed. Memories are faded but I don’t remember ever having sleep issues close to this! (The concept of a sleep regression was never mentioned 15 years ago)
2. when baby wakes up, I rock her for a minute in my arms and she falls asleep really easily, or, if she is more peristent, pop her on the boob and she will feed to sleep within about 5 minutes
3. From about 12 weeks up until this regression (?) at 20 weeks, baby would reliably sleep from about 10pm to 2 or 3am then be awake around 5.30am for another feed, before going back down until about 7.30am
4. day sleep is very unreliable. Baby will only have a long nap if it’s a contact nap, and any small disturbance will wake her. Being out and about leads to tiny little naps as she wakes up as soon as we stop car, or try and stop for a coffee if she’s in the pram or whatever. Once her eyes are open, that’s it - she’s awake for the next 3-4 hours even if she has only slept 10 minutes.
5. she is generally a happy baby if she has 100% of your attention. Whinges the moment you stop giving her full engagement. It has taken me about an hour to write this post by snatching a phew seconds here and there. She is very smiley and giggly and meeting all her milestones.

Really hoping someone can come along and give some practical advice that can help this situation become a bit more manageable as I’m at the end of my tether and don’t know where to turn. Thank you

Thanks for the solidarity! Sometimes I feel like “ok, I can come to terms with this, this is how it is” and other times I just feel terrified that this will go on for months or years.

How did you manage to transition to independent sleeping after co-sleeping, and at what age did that happen? Ironically, I haven’t tried to fix anything at all, but gone with the flow and been 100% responsive. I really thought after DD1 was quite easy, things would just fall into place in time with DD2. You don’t get the same one twice, that’s for sure!

Probably not what you want to hear, but we stayed co-sleeping with each of them until they had weaned, which was usually between 2 and 3 years.

We co slept until about dd's 2nd birthday. When she was ready for her own bed the transition happened easily.

I agree with the pp who said don't worry about future problems, just do what you need to do now to fix the current problem. Future problem might not even happen.

That's basically my whole parenting pattern tbh. Every time anyone has said "don't do xyz [easy, gentle fix for current problem], you'll create a rod for your back", well lo and behold, said rod never materialised. Because most problems are just a ohase.

Examples: dd loved her sippy cups. Everyone said you need to wean her off them, she'll never learn etc. When she was ready (admittedly quite old!) it was easy, and the sippy cups are now in storage for ds. She also went through a phase of refusing water and only drinking dilute juice. "Hold firm otherwise she'll never drink water, rod for back etc"... now she happily drinks water most of the time. Ditto green vegetables... I could go on.

Tldr it'll be fine. Co sleep now. Transition easily to own bed when ready.

Edit - she had her own bed from 18mo and went through a 6 month phase of having the first half of the night in her bed, second half in ours. But no tears or drama. Then whole night in her own bed.

Are you feeding solids? I would say baby is hungry. Mine were formula fed & they sleep longer as you can get hungry baby milk. Maybe you need to give solids nearer to bed time to fill them up a bit more so that they go longer. Few spoons of baby rice or porridge might help?

Thanks for this @Mumoftwo1316 and @AppropriateAdult too. I think I am catastrophising but there are times I feel fully unhinged because of exhaustion. I have heard so times I’m making that proverbial rod by feeding on demand and picking her up whenever she cries, and sometimes I do think people were right.

DD1 definitely had periods of co-sleeping, up until she was about 7 and I never viewed it as a problem as I could put her to her own bed and she would pretty reliably stay there. Thanks for all your thoughts, it is appreciated.

Thanks - we’re about a week into solids (she’s actually just 6 months in a couple of days) and today was the first day she actually swallowed a reasonable amount of porridge. This was at around 8pm - who knows, maybe tonight will be different! She is lovely chubby baby (62nd centile) but she barely feeds during the day, probably because every night is an all you can eat buffet.

Off on holiday tomorrow and when we get back, I’m going to try and implement a routine of some kind around feeding and naps. I have no idea what a routine for a 6mo should look like. DD1 just fell into one that worked!

@UrsulaBeresfordTodd

I think that's your reason then - years ago babies had solids from 4 months & now they recommend 6 months there are regular posts about 4 months sleep regression. I honestly think they're just hungry & waking up because just having breast milk doesn't really fill them up enough for a full night. Mine had solids from 16 weeks & slept through. So I think you will find that things improve with more food. I don't know the science behind it all but mine were fine being given baby porridge & rice at that age. It's hard to know what to do for the best - but I think a baby getting a full night sleep is better for them as well as the parents. I don't think it's beneficial to a baby to be constantly waking up because they're hungry. However that is current advice & so you're'doing the right thing' according to current guidelines. Hope it improves for you!

No one knows that the baby is waking due to hunger, I think it’s highly unlikely based on the science about infant sleep; it’s just what some babies do. Breastfeeding is soothing plus nutrition and it’s likely the breast settles OPs baby, just as a dummy works for another baby, rather than the breastmilk satiating hunger. Many parents wean early (before 6 months) because they think baby is hungry; I don’t think the evidence shows that this improves sleep. Of course there will be anecdotal reports that it helps.

@Lighttodark

No one knows that the baby is waking due to hunger,

It's worth considering though. I doubt breast milk alone is enough food for a baby that size. I don't think it's fair on either the baby or Mum (because Dad can't actually help can they?) to be put down to sleep without sufficient food to last the night. Babies can sleep through much younger & longer. Mine were sleeping through from 6 weeks & no way would I have coped with being woken up every couple of hours. It would have broken me!

I had never thought about the change in recommended weaning age and the 4 month sleep regression. I honestly feel like sleep regressions didn’t exist when DD1 was a baby!

Baby continues to wake 10 times a night. I am barely keeping it together. Not once in her 6 months have I managed to get her to nap in her bed, so all naps are contact naps. I haven’t had a nap since she was born! Would I be insane to be considering a sleep consultant? I hate the idea of trying to shoehorn baby into a routine that goes against all her desires and instincts, but also very concerned I’m just stiffening that proverbial rod.

first step would be settling baby without boob. Yes crazy to consider a sleep consultant before co sleeping - imo.

Can you nap when baby naps? Have u looked up safe co sleeping with bf babies?

I have an 8 month old and she's still waking every 2 hours. She's EBF and won't go back to sleep unless I offer the breast. I'm lucky in that I never slept well before she came along so the frequent wakings aren't too hard hitting. However she won't nap unless she's in motion although I've recently been able to get her to nap through feeding but strictly contact naps only. At one stage I was doing 25k steps a day just to get her to nap. She also won't take bottles nor dummies (took one for the first week but then spat them out ever since).

The stuff I've read suggests that they wake and look for the thing that got them to sleep in the first place, be that feeding or rocking etc. The advice is to put baby down when they are awake and leave them to self settle and soon they'll be able to do it during sleep cycles in the night. I don't know about that because I doubt my DD would just get herself off to sleep without being fed and held. I thought about sleep training but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I may change my mind if the wakings continue past 12 months. I hear that a sleep consultant works wonders though for those that are really struggling

Solidarity OP. I just reason that I will miss these days when DD is independent and doesn't need me to soothe her back to sleep.

@UrsulaBeresfordTodd

I had never thought about the change in recommended weaning age and the 4 month sleep regression. I honestly feel like sleep regressions didn’t exist when DD1 was a baby!

I doubt as many babies had problems sleeping through back in the days when solids were introduced at 3-4 months. By 6 months they're actually quite big compared to a new born. I honestly don't think just breast milk at 6 months is sufficient to fill them up. Fine to do both if you still want to breast feed.

I think the only thing a sleep consultant will do is give you a routine to follow. I don't think you can continue with so little sleep. So you have to give it a go. Just look up something online & follow that.

Also work on upping the food.

I was quite consistent with mine & it did work. I was keen to get them in a routine though as it suited me better. I knew what to expect & when. Personally I would not have let mine cry themselves to sleep. I think if there's a chance they're hungry then it would be cruel.

@UrsulaBeresfordTodd do you mind if I ask what happened with your situation, did your daughters sleep improve? This is currently happening to me with my 6 month old daughter, im looking for light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you are getting more sleep :)

Can I ask if you got this resolved? Currently in this exact situation with my 6mo

I appreciate the concerns about co-sleeping. I was also worried about the risks, but it was actually the only way I could survive the baby years. Slightly different with each baby, but at times I coslept with each one.