Did you sleep train and did it work?

[Lizbiz89]

My almost 8 month old is a terrible sleeper. For example last night he woke 5 times. He isn't in pain or upset, just wakes and won't go back to sleep without my boobs. I'm getting to the point where I need to sleep. I don't think I've had more than a 3 hour stretch since I've had him. He's on 2 meals a day currently and is always given a good meal before bed. I keep going back and forth with sleep training. I would never let him cry it out as I couldn't do that so it would be gentle sleep training. Has anyone done sleep training at 8 months and did it work for you? If so can you give me any tips.

Do you have a partner?

When I wanted to stop the night feeds (and I think you can definitely reduce yours, he doesn't need 5 in a night) DH would go in with some water to offer, and get DD back to sleep himself. That pretty quickly progressed into her sleeping through without waking for milk - I appreciate we may have been lucky here that it worked well, but it's something else to consider trying.

It's not the gentle method you're looking for, but I used Ferber to sleep train my ten month old and it worked within three nights. We sleep trained because it was taking 2-3 hours of very distressed crying to get her to sleep every night. We had a month of this where no amount of feeding, rocking, shushing etc worked so I decided to see whether sleep training would help as at that point it felt like things couldn't be any worse! Night one she took half an hour to fall asleep, night two fifteen minutes and night three she cried for less than a minute before slowly getting herself comfy in her cot and falling asleep.

I chose this method as I didn't feel like anything where we stayed in the room would work and because I knew she could already self-soothe by sucking her thumb. The only thing I regret is waiting a month to it.

I'd spend some time researching different methods and try to pick one that suits your baby's temperament.

Thank you for the replies. @YellowHairband would you lo accept a beaker for water? This is something I haven't tried.

@bk1981 I'm happy to do Ferber as this is more gentle as you go back and check and reassure every few minutes. Was your lo breastfed? My ds is only just nearing 8 months so I worry he's too young? But I know I can't continue with this lack of sleep as it's destroying me.

Not sleep training related (research shows that babies left to ‘cry it out’ sleep just a few minutes extra than babies’ who are tended to… yes, there are ‘gentler’ methods but that doesn’t mean they will work)…

Could baby be teething? Sleep regression? New skills? If so, no form of sleep training will work. And I do sympathise, as I have an almost 8 month old who has done a handful of 4hr stretches in his life.

Also, if baby eats a meal too close to bedtime, they will be digesting while trying to sleep. Milk (breast or formula) is easier to digest. I have been advised to make sure baby has at least an hour after eating, before winding down for bed.

We did similar to ferber as recommended by our health visitor with regular reassurance and it worked within a few days. I wonder also at 8 months, if adding an extra meal would help. Mine was on 3 meals by 8 months and it really helped!

@ThankGodForDancingFruit he eats 2 hours before bed. I would agree with you if he was suddenly doing this but he's been waking a lot since forever. The only semi decent time we had was at about 10 weeks. Then it went downhill after that and never got better.

@Senzafine yes good idea, I might try adding another meal soon. Although he's not showing that much sign of interest atm tbh.

You could try looking at No Cry Sleep Solutions by Elizabeth Pantley. The book is available on Amazon

No advice I’m afraid, just solidarity! I hope you find something that works for you both.

We didn’t, but all of our NCT group did. It hasn’t worked for any of them, so although they had a few weeks of “better” sleep, I’m glad we didn’t. I felt a lot of pressure to for a long while.

Yes she is breastfed but very into her solids and only having four breastfeeds at the moment. I think once they're past six months then sleep training is considered okay but you know your baby best. Equally, there is nothing wrong with reaching the end of your tether with lack of sleep and needing something to change.

It worked like a dream for us at exactly this age. And set up brilliant sleep habits which have endured - DC now four. So many of our friends still have trouble getting DC down at night. They have no time to themselves 94 as a couple in the evenings. We are so pleased we did it. I'd say NB everyone who puts them down has to be completely sold on the method and follow it religiously and for best effect you have to stick with all aspects of the plan even when the really shitty habits are under control. If you do it right it works almost immediately.

We sleep trained DD and it worked quite well.

Also DD was BF apart from a bottle of formula around 23:00 that I would give her. Then DW got a longer period of sleep between feeds and DD slept much more solidly after formula for some reason.

Got some opinions from some people who are weird about formula but whatever! Not their baby or boobs.

We did and yes it worked. 3 nights of pain and we were all the better for it. They were flat out after 5 mins in bed following it. We left for 2/4/8/16 mins, never got beyond that. I'd do it again. Never had to with my second, very different kid.

Sort of... Gina Ford from the early days. It worked wonderfully well.
The only trouble was that with DS sleeping for 12h every single night, he dropped his napping at just a few months old. Wouldn't even nap in a moving car. So daytime parenting was quite full on!

We did a sort of sleep training at 15 months and it made the world of difference. We didn't do cry it out but we went cold turkey on the rocking to sleep. Instead lots of back rubs and singing in the cot and we slowly withdrew that. He's 2.5 now and he goes into bed has his stories and then it's time for sleep and he sleeps through. Before 15 months he was awake every 2/3 hours

Yep and it works.

i left her for 3 mins , went back in, soothed, picked her up if needed then left again. Repeat until she went to sleep. Had a few nights of that and then she happily went in her cot and went to sleep herself.

Shes been a brilliant sleeper ever since - naps and through the night. She also naps happily at my parents house once a week and goes down easily for them too.

I would definitely do it again.

Hi @Lizbiz89 I "sleep trained" two of my three DC at about 6 months and it worked perfectly for us (the first DS was great but it was a fluke 😀). I believed in it so much that I am now an accredited baby and child sleep consultant and I'm happy to answer any questions that you may have. Just a note - the cry it out method is not sleep training and any good sleep consultant would never advocate this method.

We done our own version of Ferber at 8 months and it worked like a dream. We went in every 5 minutes and reassured him, gave him his dummy and left the room. Once he started to settle we’d stop the 5 minute timer and if he started to cry - then at that point wait 5 minutes.
Not going to lie I sobbed the first night because I’d seen all these bloody Instagram reels about babies being rocked to sleep and cuddled to sleep etc - but after 3-4 nights it was over and done with. He now sleeps amazingly - we have the odd bad few nights if he’s poorly or teething but most of the time he sleeps through.
We also bottle fed, which probably makes a lot of difference in terms of comfort - but please don’t feel bad for prioritising your own sleep.
Once we’d sleep trained it was like everything fell into place. His development sky rocketed and he was a much happier baby of a day time.

We sleep trained at 6 months and 10 days. Our method involved (if she started to cry) going back after 2 mins to calm her, then 2.5, then 3 and so on up until 5 minutes recurring. . . But she has never. Ever. Got. To. Five. Minutes.

Sleep training works VERY well for some kids, not at all for others. Ours is 18 months old now and a year of her sleeping through the night 95% of the time means it works. She sleeps poorly when ill or sometimes during a developmental leap.

We did it after the 4 month sleep regression hit us so hard that she woke up every 25 - 45 minutes all night long and would only go back to sleep with feeding. After 10 weeks, we cracked and sleep trained. It took 12 minutes on night 1 and she slept 7 hours. It took 7 minutes on night 2 and she slept 9 hours. After 5 days she went to sleep straight away or chilled out in her cot for a few mins then went to sleep. She slept through with no need for a night feed, we gave her all her calories during the day.

Someone in one of the post above said sleep trained babies get only minutes more sleep than other babies. When related to our situation, that is complete b*llocks. But we were lucky as it worked well and quickly with our baby. We never even considered that she was just minutes away from going to sleep by herself until we gave her the chance to do it.

I hated with a passion all the stupid cows who posted in response to my desperate messages here with "oh antidepressants have helped lots of sleep deprived mommas like you". Its such a stupid cutesy way of saying shut up and accept clinical depression and medication for months or years. We decided to treat the problem - her not sleeping - rather than medicating me as a solution. Best decision I ever made.

Thank you for all of your replies. Think we're going to set a date and plan and start. Another night of so many wakes 😫. I don't think I've ever been this tired in my life.

@Smithlets80 wow thank you for your offer to answer any questions. My main concern atm is his naps because on Sunday night where he actually slept quite well his naps were at a different time, I usually have him on a schedule of 9.30-10.30am, 1-2.30, and then 4.30-5pm. On Sunday he napped 1-1.30pm and 3-4.30pm. Do you think too much napping in the day might be contributing to his night wakes?

We have an 8 months old and have a call with a sleep consultant today to start a sleep training program.

She will only feed to sleep at bedtimes and for night wakings (of which there are multiple. But I need to move away from breastfeeding as she as multiple allergies and the restrictions on my diet for them are impacting my health. Between that and the tiredness, it’s impacting all of our lives day to day and how well I feel I can care for her, so we’ve made the decision something needs to change.

I dont think most parents like the idea of sleep training, it goes against parental instincts to let them cry when you can fix it. But we all have our breaking point, and our circumstances which I think change that view to thinking some short term upset is worth improving everyone’s quality of life

💯 agree with you. I'm barely functioning atm. I have 2 older children to get up for school as well so there's not even a chance for me to lie in with ds to catch up. Never had this issue with my older 2 like this. Both were sleeping through on and off from 4 months. I was obviously very lucky. Are you ebfing? I've tried my ds on bottles but he refuses so trying to get a break is impossible. Hopefully the sleep consultant can help with everything.

I was EBF until 6 months, she’ll now take bottles from DH if I’m not around but not at night.

Sleep consultant was really helpful, was good to get some personalised support. He was honest with us that it would be hard, but that it would get easier after 4-5 nights

I did pick up/put down method by Baby Wisperer Solves All Your Problems at around 8.5 months. It does take a lot of resolve. However as Baby Wisperer says it's one thing to cry alone and another thing to cry on someone's shoulder. With Baby Wisperer method you put your baby down they start to cry. You wait until they become hysterical and pick them up. If they stop crying on the way to your shoulder- you picked up too soon. You calm them down on your shoulder then put them down. They start crying on the way down- you still put them down and wait for a hysterical note. Repeat. The idea is to ignore the cries of frustration and only pick up on cries on distress. Baby Wisperer has different methods for different ages. She passed away age 54 and her book could do with a bit of revision for clarity hence my explanation. The first time I tried it took 1.5 hours. I thought my baby would never forgive me however I had been a walking zombie for the previous 7 months so I couldn't carry on. He woke up all smiles and actually was less grumpy since we mastered this method. I think he was chronically overtired just as I was (used to wake up 8-12 times over the night). Baby Wisperer used to work as a neonatal nurse, she knows a lot about babies and young children and there are lots of good tips in her book. Ignore her breastfeeding advice, times were different, the rest of her book is excellent. Second edition with yellow cover is better. She literally saved me from a nervous breakdown. I continued to breastfeed till 13 months.
Baby Wisperer also says day and night sleep are related, overtired babies don't sleep well at night. She suggests following the baby's body language rather than the clock. Main sign of tiredness at this stage is rubbing eyes and pulling on hair if I remember correctly. This is the time to use pick up/put down technique. I vaguely remember her saying 1.5 hour naps are better than 45 minutes ones, corresponds with my experience. As I have said Baby Wisperer used to work as a paediatric nurse with babies and young children. I swear by her advice. I used her other technique with my other child- he was doing 5-6 hours at 2 months whist being exclusively breastfed and despite being a much more difficult baby to start with. She has different techniques for different ages. If you really can't stand the idea of letting your baby cry you can try No Cry Sleep Solutions by Elizabeth Pantley