DS2 still needs his 2am feed and the HV is telling me different!!

[bergentulip]

Basically, DS2 is 4 months old. He feeds regularly every four hours, gets his 10pm feed asleep, and sleeps pretty soundly - until 2am.

It was all fine until went to the HV at some point and weighed DS2. He is growing quite quickly (yes, he's solid, but DEF still healthy, and not overweight, he was small when born etc... really- I am mega-critical, and he jsut looks healthy!) and so she said I HAD to get rid of the 2am feed, and that he gets too much milk.

So, against my better judgement, I have cut this back. Not entirely, but he gets mostly water. All this means now is that, instead of sleeping soundly from 2am until 6/6.30am, he wakes at 3, at 4, at 5- and remains awake screaming until 6 (!) when I give in and feed him what he so clearly needs.

A later visit, and I asked about squashing an extra feed into the afternoon, so that he would not NEED this middle of the night drink. She basically said no that should not be needed(!) Why am I listening to this woman? I am already feeding my child less than 'what all the books say' I should be - DS2 is now completely FF so very easy to track amounts he is getting.
Mother's Instinct tells me, he is hungry, feed him, he is losing sleep because of this, but then I do not want my child to get too chubby..... AARGGGHHH... advice???

Feed him .

You know the advice.. you said it yourself "Why am I listening to this woman ?".. You know if he's hungry and whether he needs feeding - not some random hv who doesn't know your ds..

And is there any such thing as a 4 month old baby that it TOO chubby ?!

oh feed him fgs

dd1 stopped feeding in the night at around 6 months or so, give or take the odd bottle

dd2 was still having a bottle when she was over 1

iirc

4 months old is still very young and imo they need feeing in the night

both mine were 'fat' babies (9lb plus at birth) and on the 99th percentile all the time, chubby baby is not a crime

tell her to pi$$ orf

Do what YOU want, you know your son.

If in doubt, get a second or third opinion.

"Mother's Instinct tells me, he is hungry, feed him"

Trust your instinct, it is more reliable than the HV!

He's 4 months old - much too young to worry about whether he is going to grow up to be chubby, imo.

If he is waking up for a feed then he is hungary.

My HV used to say that babies don't need feeding at night (between 12pm and 6am) after the age of 6 mths. Your son is not even that yet so it is expecting a bit much to make him sleep through the night.

You are saying he is growing quite quickly but my DS1 was born on 9th centile and put on a lot of weight over the first year of his life and ended up on the 91st centile. He was obviously meant to be that weight as that is where he has stayed and he is 7.5 now. His height also matches his weight so he is not in any way fat. Perhaps your DS needs to get to his natural weight too, hence the weight gain.

Just for the record I ignore the HV and carried on feeding my two after 6 mths if they woke at night. Anything for an easy life.[smile}

7.5 yrs that should be.

Oh thank you thank you thank you thank you.... I just needed to hear others say it too.

I am going to get his 3rd lot of jabs today, where he will be weighed, and if she starts going on about it, I will just tell her, in the words of bb99, to pi$$ orf

I am always going to worry about his bloomin' weight now, cos she was saying that, although his weight is normal now, up in the 90's for percentile, I need to make sure I do not set him up for obesity later in life(!)
My DS1 is now nearlt three, perfectly normal, and was also on the 91st percentile as a baby, so really, I should know better, but the hv is just always so, well, bossy and certain, like everything she's telling me is cast-iron fact.

about 8.5kgs - is that about 18lbs? just checked on conversion website.
I've never known his lbs weight- sorry(!)

FEED HIM and ignore the HV
you know what you are doing is working

Looked at DS1s red book - good point there! - he was about the same.....

The problem is, I think, a cultural one. DS1 was born in the UK. DS2 in Holland. Their approach here with the postnatal support (although excellent and very attentive) is that they can be a bit full on. They are following everything so closely, and are so obsessed with their little (green) book, the charts, the numbers, what should and should not be happening, that they stop actually using their eyes, looking at the child, listening the mother.
I sit there feeling like they think I am dumn, incapable, need to be told these things. I am usually such a self-assured and capable person, and they make me feel the opposit - like I am walking into a teacher's / parent's room asking for permission to do something....
why do I need to ask permission? This is my child, and I have done a pretty good job with the first one!

Is the HV chubby in any way? If so, tell her that she doesn't need dinner as she can't be hungry and is clearly getting too much food. Silly mare.

I will just have to keep feeding him- and better just once in the night, and that we are all happier in the morning, then a horribly grouchy moany baby who has not slept enough.
And, he'll only pick up worse sleeping habits by dozing for the last 4-5 hrs of every night!!

Confession time - I am a HV too - this HV is talking CRAP. Your DS is 4 months old - he's not overweight - FEED HIM! You are the best judge of whether he's having too much or not. Personally I've never known a 4 month old baby be overweight.

This is yet another HV stressing over the bloody centile chart without looking at the perfectly healthy baby in front of her.

stupid stupid woman. when they are under 6 months if they need a night feed, they need a night feed. I thought you were going to say DS was 18 months, not a tiny baby!

Hhhmmm.... in an argument trying to tell people that I am not stupid, I have managed to have two typos(!) Oops.
That should be 'dumb', not 'dumn', and 'opposite', not 'opposit'!!

Again, thanks for all this. It has really helped me!
I'll go into the appt. this afternoon full of glowing self-assurance and certainty.

Hope my reserve holds out!!

my ds had a feed in the night till 8months and he was fully formula fed. He was 17lb 10oz at 16 weeks. If your lo is hungry then feed them - stupid hv .

"90's for percentile" it is centile not percentile something so many HV seems to get confused with and pass this confusion on to mothers.

It is no more healthy to be on the 99 centile or the 2nd and the HV shouldn't be using your baby' position on the chart to limit the amount and number of your baby's feeds.

Just feed your baby the recommend amount of milk,in as many feeds day and night as you and your child are mutually happy with.