Baby so loud we are unable to sleep!

[LW150195]

Our 4 week old is so loud while sleeping my partner and I are finding it impossible to sleep. She is grunting and groaning all night, it sounds like she is extremely uncomfortable but is fast asleep when you look in here Moses basket. This also only seems to be at night during the day she is a quiet sleeper.

Any ideas on why this could be and how to make it better? We are getting to the point of we are going to have to put her in her own room Despite being told she has to stay in with us until 6 months!

any help would be greatly appreciated!

We had exactly the same op. We put ours in their own room which was just the other side of the wall.

You could try a wedge pillow. This worked for me, just makes them abit more comfortable and they sleep better. If your baby is colicky or windy then sleeping slightly raised really helps. My daughter could only sleep in a bouncy chair when she was a newborn as she was too uncomfortable when lying flat,

Put them in bed with you and put your husband in a different room. Your baby is grunting because it's trying to get the fluid from ears and lungs out thats from womb. Your heart and breathing is what they recognise from pregnancy.

I put babies in their own room at four weeks too. The extra SIDS risk is infinitesimal, if your baby is full term, not a twin, you don't smoke or drink, and they are put in their backs. The latter being the biggest protection.

There is no evidence at all for the regulation of breathing with the parents.

But, you have to look at all the evidence and as with everything else in life, make your own decisions and what works for you.

My son was like this. I was getting less than an hour's sleep a night and about a fortnight in was starting to hallucinate from lack of sleep. My GP told me to move him into his own room. Ultimately, there comes a point when you are too sleep deprived to safely care for your child....

He's 10 now. Doesn't seem to have done him any harm....

Yup. Swamp monster.

It doesn't last long. I sort of took it to mean I knew they were sleeping and breathing and so I could relax with it.

Babies have very immature respiratory systems.

A person’s reflex to breathe is driven by how much carbon dioxide is in their body.

A baby does not have this reflex as strongly and so are more prone to stopping breathing (SIDS).

The theory is that a baby who is sleeping alone is not being exposed to much carbon dioxide so the ‘driver’ to breathe is reduced.

Whereas, when adults breathe we expire a lot of carbon dioxide so if a baby is sleeping in the room with us, they are in a much more carbon dioxide heavy environment, which means they are breathing more of it in when they inhale which in turn stimulates their respiratory system to work effectively and stimulates them to regularly breathe in and out.

It doesn’t have anything to do with babies “hearing” their parents breathe, it’s all about the mechanism of how respiration works.

I gave birth to DS2 at 6am and at 11pm that night I had to ask the midwife to take him out of my room because he didn't stop grunting and farting. We called him piglet for a long time.
DS1 was quiet as hell so having a 6lb ball of farts next to me was exhausting! 😂
The midwives kept him that night and apparently he just did that all night until shift change at 5am.

He's 9 now and he still grunts, squeaks and squirms when he sleeps!

I ended up stomach or side sleeping him when he was next to me, as that seemed to help, but appreciate thats not everyone's cup of tea.

Fascinating, I’ve never heard this before. Do you have any studies to link because I’d love to read more about it. Especially how it could possibly be a thing in summer when you might have all the windows are open? Also what about the scandi babies that sleep outdoors in their prams in all weathers, how are they benefitting from parents co2 because don’t they have really low SIDS rates there?

I can try and get them from you.

I’m a paediatric nurse and due to the nature of the unit I previously worked on we sadly dealt hands on with SUDI babies. We all have to have training on this and the information I gave is what the Consultant’s give to use when we discuss why room sharing is so important in the first 6 mod of life.

I don’t work there anymore but I’m still in touch with some of the Consultants so I will ask them for details about which research they have seen and base their sessions on.

I imagine it is specific to night time sleeping patterns i.e circadian rhythms and sleeping in dark and quiet environments for prolonged as opposed to outdoor sleeping/naps during daytime hours.

I will find out though 👍

As an aside though, it was mentioned that the reason why SIDS rates are considered to be much lower in other areas of a Europe, is presumed to be because a far higher percentage of babies are breast fed there when compared to England which is a protective factor against SIDS.

I had this with DC1. Luckily it didn't bother DH so he would sleep in the bedroom with DC. I would sleep on the sofa bed down the hallway with ear plugs in. I still usually heard DC stirring before he did! It is hard, have you tried ear plugs? They aren't perfect but muffle sound and you can still hear the crying.

Thanks @2024BigWhoop no worries if not, but I’d love to read more about it if you have anything! The co2 thing has just got to be so variable- what if a room is well ventilated and very large versus small and stuffy and would the position of the cot relative to the parents bed be a factor? And the recommendation is that all babies, even if breastfed need to be in the same room as their caregiver for all sleeps including naps, which does seem to contradict what we see in Scandinavia- that babies who are napping primarily outdoors and not always with close supervision have some of the lowest rates of SIDS in the world.

I find stuff like this really interesting.

Another theory that I have heard is that SIDS could be a case of the baby falling into such a lovely deep sleep that they forget to breathe.

And that the reason that “back to sleep” and “baby in room” works is that the baby is far more uncomfortable on his back and that you all keep disturbing each other when in one room so nobody has a lovely deep sleep.

No idea if it is true but I found it very comforting when trying to deal with DS and his “manly snores” when he was a newborn. I may be awake a-bloody-gain but I am keeping him alive! Go me!

Hearing you breath to regulate their breathing is just a theory, not a fact. We know that room sharing lowers the SIDS risk but we don't actually know why.

It's a personal choice. I was happy to take the very small risk and put baby in his own room before 6 months, especially following baby on back, empty cot etc.

Me and DH used to take turns to sleep.in spare room. If the baby wanted feeding and I was in the spare room he'd bring the baby to me for a breast feed. Make me a cup of tea then when baby had fed dh would change nappy and take them back to cot. Next night DH would sleep and I'd feed and change the baby. It worked well as we each got some sleep. Also I had a nap during the day when the baby napped.

My DS was like this, but he's 11 weeks now and so much quieter... has been for a few weeks so hopefully your LO will settle soon.

Earplugs. With a noisy baby and a snoring DH I'd never sleep otherwise. They don't block the sound of crying.

Aside from the SIDS stuff I can't believe how many people put their baby in their own room so quickly. No judgement - I just couldn't imagine being away from my babies at night time when they were that tiny!

DS moved into his own room at 4 months purely because we moved house so it made sense to do the change
DD stayed with us until 7 months when she couldn't fit in the next to me anymore 😂

Silicone ear plugs. I could still hear the babg but it was dialled down. Newborns are so loud!

@febbabies2023 I am also surprised by this! They've just been in your womb, I can't imagine wanting my baby in a separate room so soon, no matter how loud they were. It would go against every instinct!

We kept each other awake. And sleep is so important for their development

I wore ear plugs. Dh could sleep regardless. I was still first to hear her when she cried.

Same.

It was also just the room next door, it wasn't far away.

Had ds1 with us for first 4 months. Stuck ds2 in his own room (doors wide open) after night one of zero sleep. He was extremely wriggly and grunty from the off.

He slept through the night and napped in his cot entirely consistently from 5 weeks. I can count on one hand the number of times he's woken me at night since. He's now in college and a pita in every other way. Sleep has always been his redeeming feature.