Sleep training...does it work?

[pregnancydiaries]

We have a 6m old baby who is currently up about 8/9 times a night. Not upset with no obvious needs, fed, not cold/warm upset. At this stage think it is habitual.

I said for so long I didn't want any sort of crying but after trying and failing with the very gentle methods I am thinking we need to try a very light version of the ferber method. Don't think I'll manage to leave him for any more than a minute or two.

Has anyone tried this and with any success?xxx

We didn't sleep train tbh, and it has done us no harm. Excellent sleeper vs. The friends who did sleep train and cut out all "comforts" or "sleep cues" e.g. White noise, milk etc.
When our baby got to about 6 months and in their own room, we did start to leave them for 5 minutes to settle, but not if they were screaming the house down. We also only went in at night if the crying was longer than 5 minutes. This worked.

Lol. "We didn't sleep train and have an excellent sleeper" goes on to basically describe Controlled Crying.

I think 6 months is quite young (from what I recall, but definitely get some advice from a professional). Implementing a good routine will work wonders, if a baby oversleeps or undersleeps this affects the night sleep. So this may be a good place to start, then you can do sleep training a bit later. I did it at 8 months and swear by it. Good luck OP

We didn't sleep train either (but we actually didn't) 😂 baby started sleeping through at nearly 2y.

When baby used to wake loads, every 30m at one stage, I pulled baby into bed with me and followed safe-7 from lullaby trust re: co-sleeping and also stopped tracking wakes and night feeds. It made a huge difference and everyone was more rested. I do appreciate it's not for everyone though, just something to consider if you haven't already.

What are day naps and wake windows like?

I did sleep training yes. The first post on here is what I'd suggest at 6m. A couple of night wakings is still very normal at that age. I'd wait 10m or 11m if you need to be any firmer. Then controlled crying with interval checks is the most effective in my experience.

Yes I did Ferber's controlled crying at 6 months and it worked in three days

If you are consistent I've never know anyone for it not to work for. And it doesn't need to involve lots of crying, you can do it similarly (or even more gently) that the PP who 'didn't sleep train'!

@MolliciousIntent no it absolutely doesn't we have never sleep trained, some babies do not need all these training methods and being left to cry believe it or not and are just good sleepers in general. I've never left DS to cry at all and he's slept through the night since he was 6/7 weeks old off his own back.

Yep it absolutely works, however I always did it at 12-18 months once they had understanding of what sleeping actually was.

Not sure why you've @ed me, were you aiming for someone else?

You said: "Lol. "We didn't sleep train and have an excellent sleeper" goes on to basically describe Controlled Crying."

Having a good sleeper does not mean parents have done controlled crying. They're all different, some sleep well from the get go, others don't.

Have you looked at daytime naps? We never did controlled crying but had a strict routine. You might find they are sleeping more during the day than they need to & so they're just not tired at night?

We used to wake ours up from naps & keep them awake at certain times. A routine definitely worked for both ours.

I think you've misread the interaction. I was referring to PP who claimed they had a great sleeper without sleep training, but then described what they did, which was definitely sleep training.

Apologies mollicious, so I did! My bad I agree with you though, that is pretty much controlled crying. I don't have anything against sleep training by the way, I would of probably tried it myself if we needed to.

Anyway PP gives good advice about day time naps and having a proper routine that you stick to each night. 3:30 was always the cut off for naps once DS got to around 6 months. It would always take him a while to settle if not. White noise on Spotify always done wonders for us too.

We slept trained our first using the ferber method, counting down the days until second is old enough to do the same.

It was very successful for us, and made the whole family happier. It also helped lots with weening and other bits as she was no longer feeding through the night

I would rather sleep train than have a baby in my bed. Friends still have kids in their bed age 4/5

@MolliciousIntent I mean I said we didn't really sleep train tbh, as in not some strict routine, 15 minute cry outs, no picking up and comforting and all that. Haven't said we didn't do it at all. Don't shun anyone who does it. Each to their own, don't get so defensive.

What age did you do with your first? I'm so scared to do it and it doesn't work and then I'll just feel terrible for leaving him to cry I don't understand how it can suddenly make them sleep but something needs to change!xx

Then you have the unicorn baby

We sleep trained at 6 months using an app called “little ones” and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Lots of support from sleep experts. Very little crying involved (if there had been we would have stopped) - more just a schedule of sleeps, naps, meals and snack. The theory being that once the naps are in place the nights take care of themselves. Within a few days our son was sleeping through for 12 hours and napping well. It did give us less flexibility to be our and about during the day - not everyone’s cup of tea- but totally worth it for us. Our son is now 4 years and still sleeps 7-7 ish. Always sleeps well unless he is unwell.

I haven't sleep trained but the one time I considered it was around 6mo. His sleep was atrocious, I was knackered and couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I spent most nights awake and most days Googling baby sleep, which only made me feel worse.

I powered through (not trying to be a martyr - but I couldn't bring myself to let him cry) and at 9mo his sleep is so much better. Yes he still needs support to sleep, but he's only waking once or twice for feeds in the night. And that's even with a a cold.

I do think dropping to 2 naps and having a much better grasp of what his total sleep needs are (he needed a longer wake window before bed) have helped. So if you're on the fence about sleep training then I would recommend considering playing about with nap timings and bedtimes first, but 6mo was TOUGH ❤️

I don't think @MolliciousIntent us being defensive... You said (and I quote) We didn't sleep train tbh, and it has done us no harm. Excellent sleeper vs. The friends who did sleep train

Each to their own but if (as you say) you left them to settle for 5mins if they 'weren't screaming the house down' and left them to cry for 5mins overnight then you essentially did controlled crying.

The thing that makes their sleep better is that they start to join the sleep cycles up when they fall asleep alone. We went from 8–12 wake-ups per night to one wake-up the first night, then sleeping through. (We did the gradual retreat so no crying alone.)
It absolutely did not work on the second baby as he lay around cooing but never went to sleep, but he didn’t wake up more than twice a night ever. He slept through naturally at 22 months, which would have been a long time to wait with a baby that woke more.

We sleep trained our first but at 2 years old bc that's when he suddenly started not sleeping through the night. (Later found out he needed less day time sleep- oops).

we used a very gradual method. You take away one sleeping dependence at a time (but not white noise!) and do that for 2-5 days at a time.
so took away the bottle to sleep first.
then took away standing rocking (we sat and rocked)
then took away sitting rocking, and lay in bed with him with a slow chest pat with no other interaction, didn't let him move or play but didn't interact when fixing him.
then took away the pat and ahh contact while laying with him. He would roll around and fall asleep by himself
then put him in a cot with us laying by the cot not interacting our eyes closed, and he did the same rolled around until knock out
then we just left the room and he did the same as he'd been learning the whole time - rolled around and fell asleep. Independently.
you could add a step of a chair by the door before leaving the room but we felt he was ready to try without us in the room.

if they play up in between you only interact if they're crying and upset not if they're just moaning. You're sort of there the whole time never leaving them to cry. You're just interacting far far far less.
you start counting from 1 to 30 until they stop their crying and then resume your position. Again if they don't stop crying you're allowed to reset them with cuddles reassurance and putting them down again.
you don't need to stick to training when they're unwell.

it is a slower method, but I liked that bc it was flexible. You could stay at any stage for as long as you liked if u didn't want to move on just yet without worrying about ruining the progress of the training. It's far far gentler.

5 mins is already sleep training for you? I also wait a couple minutes to see if the baby is actually hungry or just a little fussy for whatever reason. She often falls asleep after 2 mins.

Sleep training works!! And I wasn't even overly harsh/strict with mine, did it gradually starting at like 2 mins and then stepping it up each time. Started it around 5 months old. Didn't leave my son any longer than 10-15mins and that was only about twice. Took about ?4 or 5 nights and is a dream.

Now he self soothes, doesn't get worked up, very sound sleeper and sleeps very long stretches. They won't remember or resent you! And provided they're well fed, dry, warm, comfy etc they're just wanting a cuddle!