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Original poster

7 week old - hellish put downs for night sleep

74 replies

superorganisms · 13/12/2022 21:54

Help!

My 7 week old takes HOURS to be put down in the evening. It's driving us mad. We have a bedtime routine and have done for weeks. We have tried all sorts of swaddles/sleep sacks. We use white noise. I feed to sleep. As soon as her head hits the cot, she's awake. We rock, we walk, we shh, we pat, start the process over again. We have tried moving bedtime forward, back. Tried getting tongue tie cut, winding, cranial osteopath.

I am sitting here with her on my boob having tried and failed to.put her down since 7pm (yes, she's overtired by now, but is getting some cat naps in as we settle her).

I am at a loss. Co-sleeping works one in every five or so times so that's not a silver bullet for us. She does every nap as a contact nap or in the sling. We try for one nap a day in the cot but it always fails.

I know she's only little but taking hours and hours to go to sleep at night is surely not normal? She does have silent reflux which I assume is playing a part. We did try meds but it didn't make enough of a difference for us to feel comfortable giving it to her.

It's just so grim.

OP posts:
Original poster
superorganisms · 15/12/2022 09:15

Kimberz · 15/12/2022 02:43

We are having the same with our nearly 6 week old. We are going with it - it'll pass

Show quote history

Solidarity!

OP posts:
Original poster
superorganisms · 15/12/2022 09:16

EthicalNonMahogany · 14/12/2022 09:24

Silent reflux can mean they can't lie on their backs flat without discomfort! Try googling for a high crib wedge if you haven't already looked at this - it was the only way one of mine slept, except on me on their front.

Yes, we've raised the crib

OP posts:
Original poster
superorganisms · 15/12/2022 09:19

irbeagb88 · 14/12/2022 09:12

Will she take a bottle?

You need to work in shifts if so.

On DC3 now and we've finally found something that works.

I go to bed at 8pm. DH stays awake with baby until he goes down around 9pm (it used to be later, he's now 13 weeks).

Baby then sleeps until about 11-12am, DH bottle feeds and puts him down again. He then brings him into me.

Baby wakes again anywhere from 2-4am and I breastfeed until morning.

Means I always get a stretch of 5-6 hours and then DH sleeps after he brings him into me so he gets a good stretch before waking for work.

I've exclusively breastfed eldest, bottle fed middle one and combi-fed this one and it really is the best of both worlds. Introduced a bottle from day 1. All this "leave introducing a bottle until 6 weeks" stuff leaves people stuck when baby won't take a bottle at all.

It's tough OP. Bedtimes will slowly get earlier but to be honest, expect night wakings for at least the first 6 months and probably beyond.

We actually just introduced a bottle yesterday, but in the daytime so we could see how it went. She seems fine with it! Definitely looking into doing shifts if this doesn't improve soon. We have an older child and everyone is ill and not getting the rest they need 😔

OP posts:
wishuponastar1988 · 15/12/2022 09:22

Sleep is so up and down when they are little. My baby slept great until around 12 weeks and is now awake every hour and has been for the last 6 weeks! It's horrific but it will pass

wishuponastar1988 · 15/12/2022 09:23

Also at 7 weeks my baby didn't have a routine as much - bath and feed but her going to sleep would be anything between 7 and midnight. We would follow her lead. Maybe they aren't ready for a longer stretch of sleep so early in the night?

IvyDora · 15/12/2022 09:24

It's so hard! Sadly some babies just do this ... trust me I know! My DS used to cry between 6-9pm every night for WEEKS on end. He also had silent reflux, was prescribed omeprazole which did seem to help a bit, but like you have said OP not hugely! So we didn't keep that up for too long. Eventually he just stopped the 'witching hour'... or should I say hours! Now I'm not even sure it was to do with reflux at all, I think it was just him!
I definitely second the advise of doing shifts! Only way me and my partner survived was by doing shifts!

33goingon64 · 15/12/2022 09:46

I second laying them down on their side until they're settled then on to back. Presumably still in moses basket so they feel secure?

Original poster
superorganisms · 15/12/2022 10:41

Thanks all for the messages of encouragement. We'll try some of these things and just keep everything crossed that it gets better. Good to know it's not just us! I think we panicked a bit (despite being second time parents...!) as we kept reading things about baby's bedtime starting earlier from 6-8 weeks. Baby didn't get the memo...

OP posts:
MattieandmummyandIs · 15/12/2022 18:21

Neither of mine were going to sleep at 7pm at that age.... I think you're expecting bedtime too early. Sorry I know that's not what you want to hear. I would expect feeding and realistically a bit of crying at that age in the early evening. My DD1 had silent reflux and she went to bed very late - not sure if it was related or not really. It does pass though.

Original poster
superorganisms · 16/12/2022 05:33

I don't mind a later bedtime, I really don't - it's the taking 3 hours to get her to sleep in her cot thing that is killing me. Last night was awful - she woke up about 4.30pm and didn't nap again really. Finally got her down at 11ish? After her screaming the most godawful screams I have ever heard. I honestly thought she'd broken a bone or something, I was checking her all over to see what it could be. Honestly this is shit. Her sleep in general has gone to shit. She's been up every hour or two. Taking ages to settle. Moaning and grunting when she is asleep, so I can't sleep. I spent all day in the freezing cold walking her in the carrier making sure she had decent naps (she was wrapped up very warm, I have a baby wearing winter coat).

Christ, I hope this passes soon.

OP posts:
OnceAgainWithFeeling · 16/12/2022 07:12

Are you trying to put her down awake? It’s unlikely to work at this age because she wants the things she had in-utero. Hearing your heartbeat, swishy tummy noises, being rocked.

Have you a bouncy chair? They can be good for getting them to sleep without you holding them. DD had a vibrating bouncy seat and I’d put white noise on my phone which seemed to help.

Safe cosleeping? Pram with a carry cot?

MattieandmummyandIs · 16/12/2022 07:53

Just a thought - is it silent reflux? It can make it very uncomfortable for them to sleep at night. Perhaps speak to your GP?

VivaVivaa · 16/12/2022 08:54

superorganisms · 16/12/2022 05:33

I don't mind a later bedtime, I really don't - it's the taking 3 hours to get her to sleep in her cot thing that is killing me. Last night was awful - she woke up about 4.30pm and didn't nap again really. Finally got her down at 11ish? After her screaming the most godawful screams I have ever heard. I honestly thought she'd broken a bone or something, I was checking her all over to see what it could be. Honestly this is shit. Her sleep in general has gone to shit. She's been up every hour or two. Taking ages to settle. Moaning and grunting when she is asleep, so I can't sleep. I spent all day in the freezing cold walking her in the carrier making sure she had decent naps (she was wrapped up very warm, I have a baby wearing winter coat).

Christ, I hope this passes soon.

You have all my sympathy as DC was like this as a newborn. I walked miles daily with them in the sling trying to force naps. If you haven’t already google Baby witching hour or the period of purple crying. Explains a lot. Evenings with an unsettled newborn are just the worst. You’re in the peak of shite at the moment - if I remember correctly 6-8ish weeks were about the worse and then it slowly got better after that. Not going to lie, you then fall straight into 4 months when most babies get more fussy and resist sleep, but at least the evening screamies aren’t a thing anymore and actually, DCs night sleep did (slowly) get better after that.

Original poster
superorganisms · 16/12/2022 09:37

MattieandmummyandIs · 16/12/2022 07:53

Just a thought - is it silent reflux? It can make it very uncomfortable for them to sleep at night. Perhaps speak to your GP?

Yes, we believe she has silent reflux. Our first had it quite badly do we know the signs. I bloody HATE reflux.

She was on omeprazole prescribed by GP but it didn't seem to make much of a difference, and we never felt completely comfortable giving such strong meds to a tiny baby. But last night we did discuss potentially putting her back on them.

OP posts:
Original poster
superorganisms · 16/12/2022 09:41

Thank you. I know we're in the eye of the storm, it's so hard when every night feels harder than the one before. I also have a poorly toddler who I have barely seen recently as we're trying not to make baby sick too.

I really don't understand people who say they love the newborn phase...I guess they didn't have refluxers!

OP posts:
Original poster
superorganisms · 16/12/2022 09:42

Sorry, reply fail. Last msg was to @VivaVivaa

OP posts:
tfresh · 16/12/2022 10:06

To none first time parents recommending you keep the baby up until 10/11, how do you handle being exhausted from other children? We're all in bed for 7 because we're exhausted and our other kid wakes up at 6:15. If we're up till 11, then up throughout the night we'll get no sleep at all

wibblewobbleball · 16/12/2022 10:29

tfresh · 16/12/2022 10:06

To none first time parents recommending you keep the baby up until 10/11, how do you handle being exhausted from other children? We're all in bed for 7 because we're exhausted and our other kid wakes up at 6:15. If we're up till 11, then up throughout the night we'll get no sleep at all

My DH does bedtime and deals with any night wakings from other children and sleeps in the spare room to maximise his rest. I sleep in our bedroom with the newborn, and go up at about 8.30pm with the baby. DH doesn't let anyone come into the main bedroom until 6am so I get about 10 hours in bed, feeding as required and sleeping when I can. The newborn sleeps in bed with me as that's where she sleeps best and i adhere to the sleep safe 7. I feel well rested and thats even with cluster feeding until about 11pm which is normal for this age/stage. Mostly I feed laying down and we both drift off this way. I couldn't even tell you how many times she wakes in the night as I barely wake up to latch her on when she starts to stir for a feed.

VivaVivaa · 16/12/2022 14:04

tfresh · 16/12/2022 10:06

To none first time parents recommending you keep the baby up until 10/11, how do you handle being exhausted from other children? We're all in bed for 7 because we're exhausted and our other kid wakes up at 6:15. If we're up till 11, then up throughout the night we'll get no sleep at all

I don’t think anyone is suggesting keeping a clearly tired baby who is happy to go down in their cot at 8pm up unnecessarily. But it’s the art of the possible - OPs baby clearly doesn’t want to be put down at an early hour. Should the OP spend 3hours trying to force her down in the cot (as she has been doing)…or 3hours dozing or holding DD on the sofa in front of the tele?

Hugasauras · 16/12/2022 18:32

We do exactly what @wibblewobbleball does and we've always had plenty of sleep this way. Divide and conquer!

Hugasauras · 16/12/2022 18:34

And at 7 weeks I definitely wasn't putting DD1 or 2 down for the night at 7. DD1 stayed downstairs with us snoozing on and off until we went up to bed, DD2 I took up with me while DH did bedtime for DD1 and just fed her and she dozed on and off while I watched TV or read until I turned light off and went to sleep.

IvyDora · 16/12/2022 19:57

@wibblewobbleball I have a question for you please as I've always been curious. I could never BF and had to bottle feed, and I always had a very windy baby (I think bottle fed babies can be a bit windier) - so just curious when you BF at night in bed with the baby, do you have to wind the baby? Is baby just happy to stay laying down?

anotherscroller · 16/12/2022 20:02

Mine only started having an actual
bedtime at about 14 weeks, before then they were just with us downstairs all evening and then up in the next to me cot when we went to bed at 11

MattieandmummyandIs · 16/12/2022 20:26

@IvyDora depends on the baby and the age. When she was very young my DD2 needed winding at night after feeds but by a month I think I had stopped winding her. DD2 never seemed to need winding generally. Both were EBF babies.

MattieandmummyandIs · 16/12/2022 20:29

Forgot to add, yes they normally stay lying down. When they are younger they generally just turn their head to the boob, a bit older and they will roll towards you and can even latch themselves on if in the right place. Can be a little surprising being woken up by a baby who has managed to latch themselves on!