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Original poster

How to help baby sleep throughout the night

46 replies

CCIH · 13/12/2022 16:04

My DD is 8 months now and still wakes up around 5/6 times a night. She's BF so I usually put her on breast and she falls asleep straight away but as you can imagine the broken sleep every night isn't fun.

I know I've probably spoilt her by giving her the breast to get her back to sleep each time but it's just so much easier, but I think I've made it harder for myself in the long run!!

Any tips would be appreciated Smile

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tiredpuppymum · 13/12/2022 16:26

Stopping feeding her to sleep would be a sound place to start.

Original poster
CCIH · 13/12/2022 16:38

tiredpuppymum · 13/12/2022 16:26

Stopping feeding her to sleep would be a sound place to start.

Thanks for your help

OP posts:
TheRookieMum · 13/12/2022 16:43

Sorry I've no help to give personally, but there may be useful tidbits in other threads here. Try the sleep training one maybe?

KoalaPineapple · 13/12/2022 16:45

I don’t have any advice as such as I’m in a similar position but honestly you haven’t spoilt baby you’ve provided for them and helped their emotional development by letting them know that you will always be there for them for food comfort and love. They love you and will get there and with time I’m sure x

Montague22 · 13/12/2022 16:47

If you are breastfeeding, that’s what your baby will want and it will be hard for you settle them any other way. If you have a partner they will find it easier to teach the baby to settle without a feed. I would wait till nearer a year in all honesty. It’s very hard but feeding works for a reason.
Mine slept best when night weaned but were much older.

MajorCarolDanvers · 13/12/2022 16:48

Its not going to help but baby will sleep through when baby is ready and not before.

If you want a break, can you express and get your OH to give a night feed of ebm in a bottle?

Original poster
CCIH · 13/12/2022 16:51

TheRookieMum · 13/12/2022 16:43

Sorry I've no help to give personally, but there may be useful tidbits in other threads here. Try the sleep training one maybe?

Thank you I'll give it a try! X

OP posts:
A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 13/12/2022 16:51

We got into a habit of this also of feeding to sleep and cosleeping part of the night with multiple 'snacks'. I got the flu recently, and couldn't get out of bed. My partner put baby to bed with a bottle of formula, and he slept! He woke a couple of times and grumbled, and had one feed in the night, but it's so much better than what it has been.

So for us what worked was me being nowhere in sight, my partner doing it all. And actually doing it. We are so tired that we kept putting off dealing with it (both working full time) and feeding to sleep was just the easier option even though we knew we were just kicking the can down the road. The flu forced the issue, but one waking in the night for food I can deal with

SleekMamma · 13/12/2022 16:54

You can not spoil a little baby by responding to their needs.
You can spoil a child by giving them what they want and they don't learn no. But a baby? Nope.
Just do what you think is best.

Original poster
CCIH · 13/12/2022 16:55

KoalaPineapple · 13/12/2022 16:45

I don’t have any advice as such as I’m in a similar position but honestly you haven’t spoilt baby you’ve provided for them and helped their emotional development by letting them know that you will always be there for them for food comfort and love. They love you and will get there and with time I’m sure x

Thank you that's made me feel better! I think im just worried because im due back at work in Feb and if I start sleep training whilst working im gonna be like a zombie, I've definitely left it too late 🤦‍♀️ but maybe as she gets older she'll just naturally sleep better fingers crossed. Good luck to you :)

OP posts:
Derbee · 13/12/2022 16:55

I’m in EXACTLY the same position as you. It’s exhausting. But you cannot spoil a baby. You’ve given her a really secure start, where she knows you’re there for her. Seriously, well done for that.

BeastOfBODMAS · 13/12/2022 16:56

Time helps!
My 13mo is still fed to sleep more often than not, bar teething and illness the wakes got fewer and fewer over time. She first slept through on her 1st birthday (very stimulating day!) and now does maybe half of the time, with either 1 wake or a stupidly early start the other half .
Things like walking, talking and childcare tire them out, and being able to eat a more substantial dinner.

Original poster
CCIH · 13/12/2022 16:57

Montague22 · 13/12/2022 16:47

If you are breastfeeding, that’s what your baby will want and it will be hard for you settle them any other way. If you have a partner they will find it easier to teach the baby to settle without a feed. I would wait till nearer a year in all honesty. It’s very hard but feeding works for a reason.
Mine slept best when night weaned but were much older.

Thank you for your reply! No partner, it's just me so I think I just tend to do whatever's easiest lol

OP posts:
Original poster
CCIH · 13/12/2022 17:00

MajorCarolDanvers · 13/12/2022 16:48

Its not going to help but baby will sleep through when baby is ready and not before.

If you want a break, can you express and get your OH to give a night feed of ebm in a bottle?

Im a single mum so no help at night unfortunately but thank you I think you're right, time will help

OP posts:
Original poster
CCIH · 13/12/2022 17:01

A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 13/12/2022 16:51

We got into a habit of this also of feeding to sleep and cosleeping part of the night with multiple 'snacks'. I got the flu recently, and couldn't get out of bed. My partner put baby to bed with a bottle of formula, and he slept! He woke a couple of times and grumbled, and had one feed in the night, but it's so much better than what it has been.

So for us what worked was me being nowhere in sight, my partner doing it all. And actually doing it. We are so tired that we kept putting off dealing with it (both working full time) and feeding to sleep was just the easier option even though we knew we were just kicking the can down the road. The flu forced the issue, but one waking in the night for food I can deal with

It is so much easier.. my baby doesn't even really feed though because as soon as I put her on breast she's pretty much back to sleep again! Maybe she just does it for comfort, I'm not sure, was it the same for you?

OP posts:
Original poster
CCIH · 13/12/2022 17:01

SleekMamma · 13/12/2022 16:54

You can not spoil a little baby by responding to their needs.
You can spoil a child by giving them what they want and they don't learn no. But a baby? Nope.
Just do what you think is best.

Thank you Smile

OP posts:
Montague22 · 13/12/2022 17:02

@CCIH I would probably continue feeding then. It works for a reason. You’ve got teething and winter bugs to get through and it’s so helpful to be able to feed then. It has a natural pain reliever and they can stomach the milk when they have a sick bug….it’s such a hassle but there’s so many good points.
Is there anyone who can watch the baby in the day so you can nap? Is there anything else that would make your days easier, eg a cleaner?

Original poster
CCIH · 13/12/2022 17:03

Derbee · 13/12/2022 16:55

I’m in EXACTLY the same position as you. It’s exhausting. But you cannot spoil a baby. You’ve given her a really secure start, where she knows you’re there for her. Seriously, well done for that.

Aww thank you for your reply, made me feel much better about it. It is v exhausting but temporary (hopefully)! Good luck to you

OP posts:
Original poster
CCIH · 13/12/2022 17:03

BeastOfBODMAS · 13/12/2022 16:56

Time helps!
My 13mo is still fed to sleep more often than not, bar teething and illness the wakes got fewer and fewer over time. She first slept through on her 1st birthday (very stimulating day!) and now does maybe half of the time, with either 1 wake or a stupidly early start the other half .
Things like walking, talking and childcare tire them out, and being able to eat a more substantial dinner.

Thank you for your reply! My DD doesn't really even feed I think she does it more out of comfort because she falls back to sleep within literally seconds. Is this the same for you?

OP posts:
A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 13/12/2022 17:05

@CCIH yes exactly like that - didn't seem like he was especially hungry most of the time, he just quite liked a nipple in his mouth.

Must be very tough doing it alone like you are, with so many night wakings. You're doing an awesome job to be keeping up with it.

Do you have a relative who might volunteer a couple of nights to help out? I half arsed trying to deal with it myself earlier, but he wouldn't accept anything but a feed from me while I was there

Original poster
CCIH · 13/12/2022 17:06

Montague22 · 13/12/2022 17:02

@CCIH I would probably continue feeding then. It works for a reason. You’ve got teething and winter bugs to get through and it’s so helpful to be able to feed then. It has a natural pain reliever and they can stomach the milk when they have a sick bug….it’s such a hassle but there’s so many good points.
Is there anyone who can watch the baby in the day so you can nap? Is there anything else that would make your days easier, eg a cleaner?

Thank you for your reply! I have actually had 3 colds on the spin so you're not wrong there! The tiredness actually doesn't really bother me during the day but I go back to work in the new year and I'm worried it'll become a struggle then

OP posts:
lilroo87 · 13/12/2022 17:06

I fed my DD to sleep and back to sleep for every wake up until she was 12 months when she decided she didn't want any night feeds anymore. She then started sleeping through the night.
8 months is a common time for separation anxiety to start so I would definitely continue to feed as you are.
They will sleep through in their own time, as hard as it is, but respond as you are and they will get there.
From around 11 months my DD started sleeping longer stretches and only had 1 wake up so was on her way to sleeping through before she night weaned herself.
We co-slept aswell which meant most of the time I didn't wake properly as she would just feed and fall back to sleep

Original poster
CCIH · 13/12/2022 17:09

A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 13/12/2022 17:05

@CCIH yes exactly like that - didn't seem like he was especially hungry most of the time, he just quite liked a nipple in his mouth.

Must be very tough doing it alone like you are, with so many night wakings. You're doing an awesome job to be keeping up with it.

Do you have a relative who might volunteer a couple of nights to help out? I half arsed trying to deal with it myself earlier, but he wouldn't accept anything but a feed from me while I was there

No not really.. my family all work so I would feel bad to ask. But honestly it doesn't bother me too much, it's like torture of a night but when the morning comes around I'm fine😂 I was just worried that I was doing the wrong this but everyone's put my mind at rest. Thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
CCIH · 13/12/2022 17:10

lilroo87 · 13/12/2022 17:06

I fed my DD to sleep and back to sleep for every wake up until she was 12 months when she decided she didn't want any night feeds anymore. She then started sleeping through the night.
8 months is a common time for separation anxiety to start so I would definitely continue to feed as you are.
They will sleep through in their own time, as hard as it is, but respond as you are and they will get there.
From around 11 months my DD started sleeping longer stretches and only had 1 wake up so was on her way to sleeping through before she night weaned herself.
We co-slept aswell which meant most of the time I didn't wake properly as she would just feed and fall back to sleep

Thank you for your reply! Yes we're co sleepers too, it just feels like I don't have enough time to fall back asleep before she wants me again. It's hard to tell yourself it's just a phase when you're living it but I guess it is just a phase!

OP posts:
Montague22 · 13/12/2022 17:19

@CCIH it’s so hard, I remember longing for a 2 hour stretch of sleep. Going to bed early and eating and drinking well will help your survive.

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