Please help before I collapse with sleep deprivation!

[OhhSugar]

My DD is 6 months and has never really slept through, she has always fidgeted a lot in her sleep right from newborn.

She had two weeks where she slept soundly and hardly moved, now she's back to fidgeting, banging her head on her cot etc, waking up screaming because she's rolled onto her front and can't get back over.

We've started weaning but she isn't interested in much food, doesn't seem to put bananas etc to her mouth, doesn't eat an awful lot at all actually but does have her bottles.

She's the right temperature, dressed appropriately and has 3 x 45 minute naps in the day. She doesn't seem to be teething or ill.

I go back to work full time in five weeks and it's not humanly possible to be awake 4/5 times a night :(

Any ideas?

@Youcancallmeirrelevant Yes she's in a full sized cot in her own room.

I do use a sleeping bag but she still rolls over.

I put her in a long sleeved vest, a sleepsuit and a 2.5 tog sleeping bag. Is this ok? What additional layer should I add if not?

Actually, not uneducated. Studies of babies who are sleep trained show that their cortisol levels still rise as much as prior to sleep training (so are still stressed) but have learnt not to cry out as they know no one is going to comfort them. It's learned helplessness.

OP, I still get up with mine between 3-6 times a night and I'm in full time work. Sleep is developmental - they will sleep through when they are maturationally able to. Incidentally, all studies of "sleeping through" define that as uninterrupted sleep between midnight and 5am, not 7-7.

Sleep training is hugely emotive. Whatever you do people will disagree with you. And there are studies with evidence both ways of course. I say this so that you don't fee guilty either way.

Whilst some people can function and work on minimal sleep, I can't. We were lucky that we had a decent sleeper but we did sleep train when necessary.

For us we needed everyone to sleep, we judged that to be really important. I understand that others will take a different view. You can only do what suits you and your family best. Ignore the judgement either way.

Re feeding, you can't force them to eat. I'd take the pressure off, offer finger foods, offer the occasional purée both on a spoon and just in a bowl for messing with. If she's not interested just take it away, no fuss. Eat some yourself in front of her, so she knows it's tasty. Eventually she'll eat. No one gets to adulthood without eating.

Granted weaning might help sleeping by my EBF eldest slept from an early age without any food so it can be done.

Best of luck

Definitely agree on the no pressure with eating, if she is only six months very recently it might just be a bit early for her. Keep going with the food gently, food before one year old is really just about learning rather than really eating loads and I say that as someone who really worried and stressed over DD1 not really eating.

On the sleeping, I wouldn't sleep train for all the reasons pointed out by previous posters. In my view it's not a positive step forwards. Other options could be checking whether they are too cold - do you have a room thermostat? Is it too bright or too noisy in their room? Are they unwell or teething - teething can go on for flipping ages with no teeth to show for it 🙄. Once you've gone through all of those, try co-sleeping. If you are breastfeeding it's much quicker to pop a boob in a small mouth and everyone goes back to sleep quickly but even if you're not breastfeeding co-sleeping still improves sleep because little people want to sleep near their mothers. They can't help it, they're just programmed to because that's how we evolved.

Can DH or partner get up with the baby if they are an early waker and give you an hour's extra sleep?

I think it's also about mindset, small babies and frankly toddlers wake up a lot. Once you've accepted that your sleep is not going to be same as it was pre-children for a good while it gets a lot easier.

Weaning is stressful what with the mess and the refusal. 6 months is very early days though and it takes the pressure off if you give baby just as much milk as usual. Any tasting of food is a bonus not essential.

As for sleeping, keep in mind that longer chunks of sleep could be literally round the corner. It's so hard at the time but you've got a full nights sleep ahead of you. (Unless you have more babies!) I'm not saying it will be next week or next month so you might want to go to bed when baby does at 8pm or draft in help until then. It will definitely improve.

No it’s not. I haven’t had to do it, but I would if my baby didn’t sleep through.

I co slept with both of mine, they felt safe and snug and I was able to sleep. all sleep training does is teach them that you won't come when they cry. comfort is as integral a need as food and water. we would say it's awful to leave a baby crying on their own in the middle of the day, yet somehow people think it's ok to leave them crying in the dark, at night. 'for their own good'

numerous studies have demonstrated the detrimental effects of sleep training. people champion it because it benefits the parents, not the children. I understand that being tired is hell on earth and I'm not saying it's easy but your baby wants to be near you. it feels safe with you, it feels comforted. in my opinion sleep training works by undoing that trust and teaching the baby to give up. as someone else highlighted, sleep trained babies still wake at night, they just don't cry

We have a baby monitor that monitors her temp in her bedroom, it always between 16-19 but she's dressed appropriately, with a 2.5 tog sleeping bag, and the heating automatically comes on when it hits 15 degrees. I don't think she's cold or too warm.

DH goes to work at 4am, so he does the afternoons with her when he gets home. He does whatever he can.

I've stopped offering purées/finger food, she just isn't ready and that's totally fine. We'll try again in a few weeks.

Typically, it was my works Christmas party last night and I went - had a few too many drinks, DH was keeping watch and was getting up with her. She bloody slept through!!!! From 7pm-6am!

I'd of felt brand new if it was my night with her!

I wondered if you'd tried any purees other than fruit? We started on root veg mixed with formula/breast milk so some familiar taste but with more calories and some additional vitamins. He seemed to like that from day one.
But it hasn't improved his sleep so if you want to take a break from weaning then do, but maybe up your daytime feeding frequency or try a top up of pumped or formula, I think mine wakes from hunger as I don't produce much milk so he only gets small amounts at every waking feed, currently on 5-7 wake ups. But the 5 wake ups is usually partnered with a lovely long wakeful part from 4am for 2 hrs so might as well be 7 wake ups!
Just started doing an additional bottle in the night, adding constant white noise and increased weaning to 3 meals. Naps have improved but night time hasn't yet.
Would love to hear if you manage to improve things, I'm also starting back at work in Jan so starting to get desperate but don't want to "train".

@OhhSugar glad you had a better nights sleep. Did you do anything to get there?

currently in the same boat and so lost and don’t know what to do.