Hand hold please. This is awful.

[gigglykipper]

Trying a new tactic tonight of DH getting our baby to sleep. Actually I got him to sleep, which lasted around 20 minutes and then he woke up so technically DH is settling him back to sleep 🤦🏼‍♀️
He's VERY attached to me and I can hear him losing his marbles upstairs screaming "MUMMY MUMMY WHERE ARE YOU!". He sounds so hysterical and keeps doing angry shouts.
I just need a break. He's 18 months and needs to get used to his Dad putting him to bed surely?! I feel so bad and like I’m neglecting him. Currently sat downstairs crying into a glass of wine.

Have you tried doing bedtime together so he gets used to daddy doing it

@JanglyBeads no, I try and get an hour to myself before he starts waking up. Then we go to bed other wise I'm up and downstairs every hour or less. Yes, we all sleep in the same bed (big sidecar cot on a king sized bed).

Stick at it, it’s hard but will pass. You absolutely deserve an hour to relax and your DH deserves to be able to put DS to bed without tears. It will get better, if you can cope with the short term pain.

We're having the same thing at the minute too op

Our LB is two and is currently very 'mummy' and won't let daddy do anything especially bed time - it has to be me. (Currently pregnant with DD so I think he can sense it)

What we've started doing is telling him that daddy will do bedtime routine, and then getting him to say night night to me and then daddy will go and do bedtime. If he starts to protest at any stage, DH will say 'okay, let's get our teeth brushed / read a book/ whatever next step is and then I'll get mummy' in the hopes that each time we'll be a step further.

It seems to be working so far

Also you're not awful for wanting an hour to yourself! As lovely as it is to be needed by our babies, it's draining!

Hope it's just a little phase x

@Thesearmsofmine yes, we do bedtime routine together every night. Bath, teeth, hair, PJ's, book and songs, then a cuddle all of us in bed. At some point, Dad will leave the room to sort the days carnage downstairs. We could try him staying for the whole time though.

How are you feeling now gigglykipper?

We have the same with our 3.5yo (older but very understandable medical reasons why shes so clingy).

I honestly didn't even try for the first 2 years. I just accepted not having a social life. Covid made it seem not so bad at least.

Then I tried going out earlier, way before bedtime - say leaving before dinner, so I want suddenly absent at bed. That was helpful. Even now, I have to pretend to go out, for her to accept her (absolutely lovely) dad putting her to bed.

I remember sitting at the top of the stairs in tears as my husband put my daughter down and she scrreeeamed for me. We pushed through and it was so worth it.

I really wouldn’t pop back in and out - at 18 months, that’s just confusing and if your husband is making a bit of progress and you go in, you could make things worse.

Your child is safe with their other parent. The screams are not of fear, they are of protest. You have a right to an evening. Good luck x

Leave the house. Walk round the block, sit in the car. Good on your husband for stepping up, and you are both absolutely right that your DC needs to get used to being put to bed by his Dad. You don't need to torture yourself listening to it, though, it's not some penalty you have to pay for the respite of an hour off. Also then your DH can hand on heart say "Mummy is out for a walk but she'll be here in the morning when you wake up".

Have you talked to him about it? I know he's 18 months but he is clearly verbal and aware - sometimes we don't credit little kids with that. Telling him in advance "I won't be here at bedtime tonight, Daddy will do it instead" and perhaps talking him through what the routine will be ("you will have your milk and Daddy will give you a bath, then he'll take you to your room for pjs and a story" for example) could help him a lot. I know it was useful for my daughter at that age. Eg I'd talk about our journey into nursery and who'd greet her at the door etc to make that transfer a bit easier.

Solidarity. I know it's hard when they want just you. If it's appropriate tomorrow, acknowledge that it made him sad and repeat that he'll be OK with his dad.

@creideamhdóchasgrá not as upset, thank you. DH never made it back downstairs, and I'm in the guest room as I don't want to disturb them, so it wasn't a full success but this is the longest stretch he has slept in a very long time! I know it's only 2 hours but for us, that's an improvement!

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. Take good care of yourself and goodnight :)