Does anyone want to guess what will happen in the morning? Please come and troubleshoot our new plan for ds getting up

[FrannyandZooey]

We have come up with some new ideas for ds (4.9), for various reasons. At the moment he shouts "Can I come in to your bedroom?" as soon as he wakes up, and then appears for cuddles.

he sometimes wakes at daft times thinking it is morning and gets quite cross when I come in to say no it isn't

am expecting a baby and think we could do without all the shouting on days when ds wakes up before dc2

the other day I was really knackered and asked him to read books and eat satsumas quietly in his room for 20 mins and he was fine about this. I got some more sleep and he was quite happy.

So, we have bought him a digital clock (he can't tell the time but can recognise some numbers) and said don't come in to our bedroom before it says 7 (and we have tweaked it so that clock will say 7 around 6.20 - dp has to get up then anyway and ds doesn't often sleep much longer than that). We also got a very dim nightlight and a timer, and have set the light to come on at 6 am, saying if he wakes up and the light is on, he can look at books quietly until the clock says 7. If he wakes up and light is off then it is nighttime and he should go back to sleep.

I think we will need to tweak these times a little but we can adjust them as and when. Can anyone see any major flaws with the plan, and, given that he is wildly excited about these new gadgets and the whole responsibility of it all (moaning from 5.30 pm "I wish I could go to bed now"), HOW early do you think he will wake up to see if the light is on / what time the clock says?

[anxious] [hopeful]

It sounds ok to me. I used to put my dd back to bed when she occasionally rose at some unGodly hour but in winter she has to be roused. It's trickier in summer since the birds start singing about 4am.

I'm happy to let her sleep in at weekends til about 9am so of course then she's bouncing around about 7.30am .

Message withdrawn

crikey I would LOVE a lie in till 7.30 am....

I just remembered something that made me laugh - I said to ds before he went to sleep "let's practice and see if you know number 7 on the clock" (he is not too hot on his numbers tbh). He was most indignant and said "Well of course I know number 7. If I had a 4 and three quarter year old who didn't know their numbers, I would get rid of them!"

Sounds like a fab plan. When we had DS we had a kind of similar thing with DD coming in and shouting that she wanted her porridge at between 5-7 in the morning.

So we taught her a kind of way over the top tiptoe thing and now she knows that in the morning if she can't hear DS that he might be sleeping so she creeps in really quietly and slips in between us so we can still have our morning cuddle. It has got the point where she whispers 'daddy sshh be quiet DS is sleeping' if he even happens to turn over

awwwww nice

I have thought about leaving snacks out too but am mildly paranoid after he nearly choked the other day

not paranoid enough to have remembered while I was sleeping and he was eating the satsumas, though

Lol at teh apple trick, I used to do that too...

I think the nightlight on the timer is potentially a brilliant idea and I may be blantantly copying it from tomorrow

yes let me deal with a meltdown at 5 am "because the light still hasn't come on, Mummy, and I have been watching it for an hour" before you try it yourself

Ds2 has always been v. sympathetic to dd2's needs and has slept protectively on her other side for the last 2 and a half years. Peacefully and beautifully. But then, they bonded before dd2 was born - he used to talk to her and hug her a lot through my tummy.
The point being, ds may well understand absolutely about coming in and being peaceful. He may even want to co-sleep again when the baby is born. This is v. v. good for bonding IME.

Ok WHO said this would be a good idea? [bleary eyed]

oh dear, am also bleary eyed with dd2 night time shenanigans

tbh franny my love, I think at his age he should be INFORMED what time he gets up and given short shrift to get back to his room pronto if he doesn't

but then we all parent in different ways I suppose

also, dd1 was a model child until dd2 came along and then decided to muscle in on the (to her) 'cuddles' at 4am when I was feeding dd2

so you may crack this early morning to have it all go to pot when #2 arrives

they drive us mad they do, make no mistake

aw bless him he LOVES coming in when he wakes up for a cuddle, and it is no hardship usually. If this doesn't go down well I will abandon it - but we have a plan B

Light on a timer works fabulously IME. My 6yo (nearly 7) has had one since he was 2 and never gets up before 7. He has a torch if he needs the loo in the night which is hardly ever. My 3yo who is a far more stroppy individual has also had a light on a timer for over a year and also never gets up before 7. She used to shout "mummy my light come on" but I have taught her to get herself up. And it doesn't wake them - I had to wake them both up on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings this week.

My DD always comes in for a cuddle when she wakes up assuming I am not up first. And DS still does sometimes, but then DD gets aggressive.

yes this timer DID wake him as apparently it 'made a noise'. I think it must have clicked. Or perhaps just the light woke him - though he says not. We are going to try again with an electronic timer which presumably will be silent (although I was meant to buy this today and have forgotten). The second problem was the presence of THREE numbers on the clock (we did practise this ffs!) So apparently 6.27 counts as the same as 7 Dp suggests piece of paper stuck over two irrelevant numbers. Smart.

How did last night go?

The other solution would be to have an Inappropriate Toy that he could only play with in the mornings while waking for you to wake up...

sorry, x-post. Pants.

ooh yes that's a good one Effie, thank you

I won't make any suggestions

www.geocities.com/godforgnomes/Huge_spud_gun.jpg

Yes DS's timer clicks. Although I don't think it actually wakes him but he is a heavy sleeper. But if he is already awake and I have secretly turned his light off at the switch because I think he needs a lie in, he knows it should have come on and flicks the switch.

is it a mechanical timer or an electronic one please bozza?

Well franny you have just got me in trouble with DH because he says they are all electric because they plug in the wall but I knew what you meant. It is a digital one (can be set for 7 days so later at weekends ) which, I guess, is not what you wanted to hear because you wanted the digital ones not to click, yes?

ah bozza

we have currently abandoned the timer idea - I can't quite remember why I thought this bit was essential - in case he got up really early by mistake (which he sometimes does) perhaps? Mind you, on those occasions, he NEVER actually manages to get back to sleep, so if he was sitting reading quietly, that would be better than callin g us

ah I know what it is. If he does wake up early and reads, thinking it is nearly getting up time, and waits and waits and waits for the clock to say 7, and it's actually 5 am. That would be sad and difficult for him, and he'd have no idea whether it was getting NEAR to 7 or not - he only knows when the 7 appears that it is now time. I think the light going on (or some other signal) say half an hour before getting up time, is still a good idea if we can rig it. Then if he doesn't see the light he will know it is early, and not expect to be able to come in to us shortly.

Hmm.

what makes it click, then?

hi f&z, been following this but not posted til now. dp says adigital one will sort of "click" as the power goes on, but will be much quieter than a mechanical one which has a physical "click"
if that makes sense? he is v.sensitive to noises so ought to know. i hope

no that is very helpful thank you

would you agree with that bozza?

I wish we could set the actual hall light to go on a timer but I don't know how that could work, it has to be a plug in lamp sort of thing doesn't it?