Grrrr...This Morning Preaching About Not Co-Sleeping!

[CalicoHollyFlint]

Co-sleeping is so wonderful and it makes my blood boil when such programmes scare people into not doing it.

Surely the bfing rate in this country would increase if more people co-slept?

IMHO

If you want to co sleep and then that is your decision and then you have only yourself to blame if something horrible happens

If nothing happens then you can then be happy and say how wonderful it is

BUT I think it is everybody's individual choice

We had DS2 sleeping in a cot next to our bed with an alarm strapped to his waist cos of loosing DS1 it bleeped everytime he breathed {it was supplied by SIDS} he wore it until he was 9 months old

So I think everyone needs to be informed of the risks and let them make their own choice

FioFio - how patronising. Before I had my first child I didn't know the FSID recommendations, not because I was dim but because I had never had to think about it before. Did you know everything about babies and children before you had them then?

I am not able to go and find the evidence now sorry, but I have read in various sources that when co-sleeping, the mother's breathing stimulates the baby's - reminding it to breathe if you like. Also when sleeping together you are very aware of changes in temperature, if the the baby is overheating and can adjust bedding/clothing accordingly. I am not suggesting that co-sleeping is safe in every single house, just that if we follow the guidelines of how to do it safely it shouldn't still be seen as an undesirable option.

i agree so long as everyone knows risks and pros and cons of both options then parents should do what suits theres and the childs needs.

toomanyshoes-my point is I have learnt from countries where it is safely done and employ those techniques, parents are not necessarily stupid enough to go with the mainstream option all the time without doing research, plenty of us do research into how to co-sleep properly but its rarely ever represented as an option. Thats the mistake, if it was shown properly then maybe the cases of sids that do happen because of people taking their baby into a bed which is not suitable for babies to be in wouldn't happen.

The breathing thing applies whether they are in your bed or in a cot next to you. Babies are little balls of heat, mine always had a lot less covers than me in the winter so the covers thing wouldn't have worked for us.

but lailasmum, you know and follow the recomendations already so this kind of stuff isn't aimed at you, its aimed at those women who don't know it. Why do you care if it it makes you 'seem irresponsible' if you know you are not? Better that than others not know the full guidelines before making their decision

I agree with rtkanga, it should be an individual choice.

I think because I have been on the end of criticism from people who know nothing about it, if co-sleeping was accurately represented on TV and in the media, i.e. how it should be done properly then it would be a very good thing and actually benefit those who are anti co-sleeping because of SIDS risk and those of us who c0-sleep responsibly, its the grey area of people who just get tired one night and put their baby in their bed that are so dangerous.-do you see what I mean?

We don't all have babies who sleep happily in their cots though do we? You can fall into co-sleeping whether you intend to or not and so it is very important to talk about how to do it safely. If it is the only way you are going to get some sleep then you are going to do it.

btw DS1/DT1 didn't die of SIDS {sorry if I didn't make that clear} he died from prematurity, {@ 27 weeks gest} which made DT2/DS2 high risk of SIDS.

I didn't see the this morning thing but it would be useful for them to say actually say that co-sleeping is employed widely around the world under the following conditions, list what they are and why and then to say only do it if you are 100% prepared to employ those conditions. That would help people avoid dangerous situations however they choose to sleep.

RTKangaMummy so sorry!

oh yes definitely agree with that Tatties. my dh fell asleep once with my ds on the sofa and alhough I was scared and worried I could see how easily it happened

LM - i do see what you mean and it is really annoying when any of your parenting choices are knocked by the uneducated or ill informed. I lost my niece to SIDS though and on balance i'd rather people knew the dangers, even if it means being judged (as i said earlier, i occasionally co-sleep with DS)

one thing about telling everyone not to cosleep is that it further marginalises women (and babies) in ethnic communities where cosleeping is an accepted practice and is, by and large safely done.

it also fails to give us the chance to learn from these more traditional ways of living.

I guess it must be hard for programme makers to know what to show, I thought that the way co-sleeping was shown in 'Bringing up baby' on channel 4 was dangerous as the baby literally appeared to have been just put in bed with them - not sure if it was gone into at a later point as I only saw a couple of episodes.

it is far easier for the media and charities like fsids to pass out a leaflet to everyone saying this is how you do it, instead of taking the time (and money) to look at the individual circumstance and educate people about bedsharing and roomsharing and letting people choose which is the option they are most comfortable and giving them the confidence that they can switch without fear, worry and / or guilt.

it is akin to giving a one size fits all 'how to' on breastfeeding which as many of the bfers on MN will tell you, is pants.

yes that is very true. Same again with whole cloth nappy debate and endless other situations.