16 week old waking all night for feeds

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Hi all, my baby is 16 weeks tomorrow and for the last couple of weeks his sleep has been way off. First of all he had a growth spurt (we think) and was waking for a couple of extra feeds a night. We thought this was the 4 month sleep regression and so enlisted a sleep consultant.

She informed us it was likely just a growth spurt. She gave us a new schedule though which we implemented. It was around this time we also transitioned him from being swaddled and having his arms free- this majorly disturbed his sleep for a few nights but then he seemed to get used to it.

Implementing the new schedule was painful as it involved "always up by X" rules. So if he was late to a nap (which he was at first as it was new to him) then he had a shorter nap thanks to having to be woken at certain times. He again seemed to get the hang of this and the day nap schedule in a few days.

At the same time though we've seen another downward spiral in his sleep. Is THIS the sleep regression or something else? Perhaps the new schedule or the arms being out or even another growth spurt?

He's not a HUGE baby but he's very long and about the 75th percentile. He's also very active and wriggly.

Before all of this his first stretch of sleep was anywhere between 3.5-5.5 hrs and he didn't need feeding at every wake up. Then during the worst nights of arms out and overtiredness when starting the new schedule, he was waking every hour some nights! Now things seem to have settled a bit but he wakes 2.5 hrs after putting him down and then the sleep cycles get shorter and shorter until morning (we start his day at 7am).

What is going on please?! I'm slightly concerned as he didn't used to need feeding every time and now he does and he feeds for quite a long time every time (he's breastfed). I'm worried he's getting all his calories at night so am offering lots of boob in the day too, but he's started being quite sick when I do that which he never used to. Indicating he is too full.

One more thing (sorry this is so long!)- we've tried introducing a bit of baby rice at the last feed before the bedtime feed and he's had it but it's hard to say if it's helped or not. Things seem to have levelled out regardless of the rice or no rice.

Hope this is okay and not too rambly and really hope someone out there can shed some light! I feel a bit stuck in this rut of feeding him every time he wakes (nothing else settles him) and then creating a cycle where he won't be hungry in the day and will then depend on those night wakings and feeds 🤔🙈

Understood! To be fair, the schedule has helped for the day naps- he sleeps better and more reliably. He's now always tired at the right times consistently and I know that nap 1 is in the sling, 2 is in the car seat or pram and 3 in the pram or crib. That does help with the general planning of our days etc and it means he gets plenty of sunshine too which I think helps.
The night schedule is being totally ignored- it's just not feasible. She wants us to wake him for a dream feed at 1030, well, he wakes crying for food at 930! So it's really just a free for all at night where I give him what I think he needs. Sometimes that's just a dummy back in, but usually it's boob!
I'm just going to keep trucking on. Thank you everyone, you're a helpful bunch!

4 month sleep regression.
It was awful fit both of my boys at this age, but it's important for them, they're learning.
My only advice is to rude the wave but find waves of coping yourself. It will get better, 100%

Can you bedshare? I bedshared with mine and it helped enormously through the 4 month sleep regression. We didn't follow any schedule, baby slept when he was tired in the day and same for night although this was always loosely sometime between 8 and 9pm. We also did one contact nap in bed a day from about 6 months which meant I got a decent rest too, whether I slept or not. We also never woke him, only recently at 2.5 yo we've started to wake him from his day nap occasionally. Breastfed to sleep and for every night waking and for some naps. His sleep was up and down until age 1 when we seemed to have a significant improvement and then again at approx age 2 and he now sleeps through consistently.

Honestly the best advice around sleep I was given was to (try to) relax and let/help baby sleep when they're tired but not stress about it or try to enforce anything.

Hi OP, I havent read the whole thread and don't have time to properly reply but I couldn't read and run. I've been in your situation, waking every hour or two at 3.5mo. I was a zombie.
I responded to a similar thread recently so will just copy and paste. It sounds like 4mo regression which is normal, baby needs the boob to resettle right now (and will still need some feeds in the night). If you can slowly move away from it it should help. 12 weeks will be too early for self settling but you can try and move to shush pat or something and then eventually it'll be easier for them to fall asleep on their own.

I got my DS self settling when he was about 6mo. I did it in a few stages.

From about 4.5mo I started introducing a comforter all the time. Nappy changes, in the pram, when feeding etc. Took a while for him to notice it.

At the same time I started habit stacking to stop the feed to sleep association. I would feed him to sleep whilst patting his bottom and shushing, then I'd gradually unlatch him just as his eyes were going, then slightly earlier so he would feed and I'd finish him off by shush patting. I was then eventually able to put him in the cot awake and shush pat him to sleep with him holding his comforter. Each stage took 1-2 weeks

When he got to 6mo I then braved it and left him on his own. I did controlled crying in 2-3 min bursts. I think the first time I did it was first nap of the day. He actually went down without much trouble the first time, I was really surprised. I think I only went in and out twice. I fed him to calm him down then put him back with the comforter. (Feeding to comfort them was only reccommended up to 6mo in the little ones guide I used).
Over the next couple of days there were varying degrees of crying when I put him down but I don't remember it lasting half an hr or anything. Was no more than going in and out a few times.
He still woke up in the night for feeds which I still continued with but they were definitely less than before. If his dad put him to bed sometimes he would sleep till 3am!
Naps were far longer, I was actually able to get stuff done and wasn't sitting there for half an hr trying to get him to sleep 🥳
Good luck xx

When I had my first baby the advice was to begin weaning at 4 months. I think he may be hungry for some actual food. I know that's not the advice now but

Just reading your post made me feel stressed so I can't imagine how you must feel.
You don't need a sleep consultant, especially not one that tells you to wake a sleeping 4 month old.
Follow your babies cues, feed when hungry, they'll fall asleep on the boob when tired and let them nap until they wake. Do lots of sensory play and tummy time when awake. Around 7pm start a little bedtime routine. You'll soon see a pattern that works for your family. Once baby is a bit older you can start to see if they fall in to a pattern and slightly adjust timings to work for you. But for now just enjoy your newborn.
Don't give your poor baby baby rice, it's too early for them and has no nutritional value. It's also pointless as it will cause them to feel hungry much quicker than milk.

Actually I do tend to bring him into bed with me from about 4/5am. As from that time he wakes so frequently it's really hard! By co-sleeping I can just flop a boob out and stay lying down!
Having him in the bed with me using to guarantee a better night's sleep for us both but it doesn't seem to help him sleep better just now, but it does help in that feeding him is less disruptive for me.
I like the idea of a nap in bed together.

Feed on demand, stop clock-watching and follow your baby's cues. I know it's hard but all the advice, routines and schedules simply obscure the fact that babies like breastfeeding and they don't like sleeping! As a mum of 3, only one of mine was a decent sleeper as a baby; the other two were / are much as you describe (my youngest is 6mo). Just roll with it! Dc1 was a dreadful sleeper and it did improve - he co-slept, contact napped and bf on demand for two years! He's now 5yo and sleeps 12 hours in his own bed and room at night - can't remember the last time he came in our bed. You can't spoil a baby and you're not ruining anything by following your baby's needs.

He's not hungry for food, breast milk will be giving him all the calories and nutrients that he needs and until 1, food is just for fun until then

The advice has been to wait until 6 months for nearly 20 years now

His digestive system isn't ready at 4 months for solid

Lots of people seem to start weaning at 4 months cos they think it will help sleep regression but it won't and it's wrong and there's so many reasons they shouldn't wean at 4 months (unless for medical reasons)

Just feed the baby when he's hungry op. It's perfectly normal.
Always remember whatever they are doing it won't last forever.
Try to nap when he naps x

This is very helpful, I'm going to persist with the comforter for sure- at the mo it's just in the crib with him (he hasn't even noticed) but I will try to make sure it's with him throughout the day.
I have been trying to finish feeds a bit earlier when I can tell he's just using me as a dummy as swapping the dummy in. I then put him in his sleep sack once actually laid down in the crib so that it wakes him up and he knows where he is (so he's fallen asleep where he sleeps rather than on me). But, for the night feeds, he totally just falls asleep feeding and I lay him down still asleep. I'll try to introduce the shush pat- I think that will be better.

Thank you. Love your username!

Actually I do tend to bring him into bed with me from about 4/5am. As from that time he wakes so frequently it's really hard! By co-sleeping I can just flop a boob out and stay lying down!

My god this is exactly me DS is 23 weeks and has been 'regressing' for what feels like 3 months now.

I've been feeding him back to sleep at every waking but he just won't settle after the 4am mark and all my best intentions of 'stay strong, he can't be hungry' are flung out the window. Into bed he comes, boob out and back to sleep it's the only way to survive.

Co-slept with all mine. Feed lying down. Get a barrier for side if bed/ side cot thing that attaches. It will pass.

I'm not alone then!

Hi OP- sounds totally normal for the age and stage. My eldest had a horrendous 4 month progression (I call it this because they are actually advancing their sleep in that their cycle is maturing away from newborn sleep cycles- they aren't going backwards). Would wake every 90 mins through night- also EBF and we used dummy too. Current baby 4.5months and have been waiting and waiting for the progression to body slam us hard like last time and so far nada. This baby is combi fed so not sure if that would make such a big difference- i suspect not though and actually every baby is different. Hang in there, ditch baby rice because giving food before 6 months when their gut is so immature can cause issues , and follow fox and the moon sleep on insta for realistic, evidence driven info on baby sleep. With eldest I also found reading Sarah Ockwell the gentle sleep book (think I'm slightly misremembering title there) helpful in terms of managing my expectations.