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Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

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Original poster

What is waking him up?

45 replies

Pinkchicken85 · 23/02/2022 13:50

I’m visiting both my doctor and an oesteopath tomorrow. And I want to know what medical reasons there could be waking up my DS. Just so I can ask them to rule it out before I go the sleep training route, which I really didn’t want to have to do.

My DS is nearly 6 months, EBF and has a cot in our room. He had zero teeth so far, so none of this has been teething.

Up until 4 months he only woke when hungry during the night, on a good night he could go through. Sleeping in his cot In our room. The absolute dream...Then bam! At 4 months he becomes a sleep terrorist.
At the moment he’s waking every hour or less. My DH and I have split the night in two and take shifts. DH cuddles him back to sleep but very soon after being put into bed he’ll wake up. I tend to just breastfeed him every time he wakes up, this means he spends 1/2 the night in between myself and my DH.
He’s become terrible to nap at home too. I’ve followed the care it out method by kerry secker but that didn’t work.
Thank you for reading,
A very knackered mother.

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Original poster

Pinkchicken85 · 26/02/2022 06:41

@Tee20x
I’m finding it reassuring to hear other PP say it’s just a phase and will pass.
That panda sounds great!

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SpamIAm · 26/02/2022 07:28

Kindly OP, this sounds absolutely textbook. The four month sleep regression isn't just a blip that ends, it's where their sleep changes permanently to become like our sleep and it takes a while for them to link those sleep cycles. Just because it's normal doesn't make it any easier though!

mrssunshinexxx · 26/02/2022 07:37

It's totally normal, 4 month sleep depression. Genuinely thought I was going to die when my baby went through it I gently sleep trained her at 6 months never left her or left her to cry within 3 nights she was sleeping 8-8 I followed the just chill mama method

MixedCouple · 26/02/2022 08:31

Yeah sleepless nights plus screaming. Other mums I spoke to said their babies wake but happy and playful. Mine just screams like he is being hurt. Hubby takes him and he is worse he won't settle at all with hubby. Great!!!
And last night the only thing that settled him was nursing.

MixedCouple · 26/02/2022 08:34

Was she a chill baby to start with.? My boy is so sensitive not chill. I tried the technique it didn't Work just wound him up and got him angry....and then he scream cried

THisbackwithavengeance · 26/02/2022 09:00

I'd co sleep.

Move DH out for a while.

It won't be forever.

Original poster

Pinkchicken85 · 26/02/2022 13:55

@MixedCouple
He is pretty chilled compared to his big bro. Who screamed most of the day but then slept like an angel at night. 6mo spent most of his first three months attached to me in a scarf/sling though...
The 6 mo didn’t get on with a gentle sleep training approach, he just ended up crying a lot, the irony was not lost on me!

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Original poster

Pinkchicken85 · 26/02/2022 14:02

@mrssunshinexxx I’ll have a look into that. Thank you. Although my DH is still recovering from me spending £40 on the care it out online package that left LO screaming.

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MixedCouple · 27/02/2022 07:14

It depends. My sister-in-law daughter is 6 years old and she still cosleeps. They let her into thwir beds when she was born and they jever got her out even with a sleep consuktant coming into thwir house - worked for a month or so and then it stopped working.
This is my concern and why I would rather keep baby in his own space. Some babies get in and nwver come out.

autienotnaughty · 27/02/2022 08:04

He needs to be put down awake so when he falls asleep he's in the same place. This will also mean if he wakes, unless he's Hungary or in pain he will go back to sleep unaided.

Original poster

Pinkchicken85 · 27/02/2022 09:52

@MixedCouple you’re right. And my DH thinks it isn’t a long term solution.
I stayed in my parents’s room until I was 6.

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Original poster

Pinkchicken85 · 27/02/2022 09:56

@autienotnaughty great in theory. But he can’t get himself to sleep on his own. If I leave him in the cot awake he cries until I pick him up. I even spent 30 minutes next to his cribs shushing and stroking him as he screamed at me. It all stopped and he fell asleep when I put him on the boob.

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MixedCouple · 27/02/2022 09:58

Haha haha yeah right.!!
Like my son would do that. I tried it many many many many times its results in him screaming his lungs out and tkaing twice as long to settle him. That technique only works for chill babies. High need babies scream at this. And I am not letring him CIO.

MixedCouple · 27/02/2022 10:01

Sounds like our boys are similar in temperament.
I ended up looking up Dr Sears and Dr McKenna and I am comong to terms eith the fact I will need to comfort my son to sleep for a long time to come and hopefully it clicks and he aleeps by himself.

Sleep training is a western invention they don't do any of it in other countries. My home country. They cosleep on the floor - all the siblings. They nurse on demand and comfort on demand. Mever seen any mother in Morocco let her baby CIO.

MixedCouple · 27/02/2022 10:04

Yeah I have friends who room shared eith parents until they were 6-7-8 and they all speak positively sbout it they also have close bonda with their parents. It just depends if that's something your comfortable with.
I don't mind my son staying in my room for a year or 2 or 3 but I would like our space back for privacy.

autienotnaughty · 27/02/2022 10:08

@Pinkchicken85 sorry I can see my post was over simplifying the situation, the no sleep phase is crap and I didn't mean to imply that this was an easy fix. But that is why he's waking and it only stop when he learns to fall asleep ( which he will at some point) unless you co sleep? That works for some parents. My ds didn't sleep through til he was one! We eventually did the lay them down, comfort but don't pick up and then just slowly reduced contact until he was going to sleep alone. It took a few week to get it down but he actually cried less than I thought. But he was well past the feeding in night phase. We tag teamed a lot in early days. One go to bed early sleep five/six hours other go to bed late and lay in.

SnackSizeRaisin · 28/02/2022 13:00

But he can’t get himself to sleep on his own. If I leave him in the cot awake he cries until I pick him up. I even spent 30 minutes next to his cribs shushing and stroking him as he screamed at me. It all stopped and he fell asleep when I put him on the boob.

30 minutes is nothing. You might have to do it for hours the first couple of nights. If you put him on the boob after 30 mins you have let him cry for nothing. If you are going to embark on setting new habits you have to stick with it otherwise it is frustrating and confusing for the baby. So wait until you are ready, know your plan, have a few days clear of major commitments, are all in good health etc.

Original poster

Pinkchicken85 · 28/02/2022 13:45

@SnackSizeRaisin felt like an eternity to me. For hours? Really? I can’t fathom doing it for longer. That thirty minutes made me realize that the controlled crying isn’t something I want to do right now, so it wasn’t completely in vain.
I’ve bought him into his new room, no improvement.
I’ve just bought the white noise machine recommended by mumsnet, hopefully that playing all night could sooth him in between sleep cycles.
I’ve just bought some DHA capsules (I really don’t get enough oily fish) , as I was taking them throughout pregnancy and up until he was 4 months. I stopped as they are a bit pricey. There are a few studies to show it helps to mature infants sleep. We’ll see!

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Harrysmummy246 · 01/03/2022 19:04

@MixedCouple

It depends. My sister-in-law daughter is 6 years old and she still cosleeps. They let her into thwir beds when she was born and they jever got her out even with a sleep consuktant coming into thwir house - worked for a month or so and then it stopped working. This is my concern and why I would rather keep baby in his own space. Some babies get in and nwver come out.

And my son bedshared and BF on demand until gentle night weaning at 21 mo then mostly is fine, apart from odd nights after a nightmare at 4.5yo.

It's no help to scaremonger like that

Original poster

Pinkchicken85 · 11/03/2022 19:08

Just a little update, his sleep has improved this week. Last night he even did a 6 hour stretch.
Ive taken on board what you’ve all said, so thank you.
Ive been breastfeeding him more throughout the day which I think has helped He seems to need to do both sides. He has white noise playing all night. And for his first nap of the day he’ll be put down sleepy but awake. I’ve been avoiding where I can putting him into his bed completely asleep.
It’s still touch and go but I feel it’s moving in the right direction. Fingers crossed that it continues otherwise I’ll be on here again!

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