Total novice - is newborn safe to nap in room unsupervised ?

Posyrosy6 · 2022-01-09T21:01:28+00:00

Pregnant 39 weeks and totally know nothing about babies I know that newborn babies are recommended to sleep in with us in crib for first 6 months but then what about naps - can he sleep in the crib in our bedroom as a newborn for naps but whilst we are in another part of the house ? Or just he always be in the same room ? Sorry to be so stupid

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KatherineofGaunt · 09/01/2022 21:06

They should be around someone as they're still getting used to a regular breathing pattern. Have a Moses basket or similar downstairs they can nap in while you're around and a cot upstairs for when you're up there.

Newborns have this scary habit of stopping breathing for a moment as part of their breathing cycle. Caused me more than one moment of panic, even with him next to me, I can tell you. But it's natural. As long as you're there they'll be okay

Justanothergeneric · 09/01/2022 21:10

They are supposed to always sleep in the same room as you, even naps. Partly it is so you can keep an eye on them (which is of course fairly well known). But partly it is because having small noises going on near them means they sleep less deeply, which is protective against SIDS (which is less well known). There is even a theory that they match their breaths to yours if you are in the same room, which is again protective against SIDs. We did always do naps in the same room until 6m. But I completely appreciate that others make different calls for their own family. It is certainly fiddly to always stay in the same room when they are napping!

Redhotspicywine · 09/01/2022 21:11

In the same room as an adult for all sleeps until 6 months

user1477249785 · 09/01/2022 21:16

It's worth also knowing that while you might get an easy baby, many many babies won't let you just pop them down to nap. I hadn't quite realised this and was surprised to find myself pinned under a baby for the first few weeks.

QuiltedHippo · 09/01/2022 21:28

Same room, helps regulate their breathing. Baby monitor does not substitute for that. Of course you can nip to the loo etc

TheFishWillSeeYouNow · 09/01/2022 21:36

Going against the grain here, but from 4 months my LO took all naps in the cot upstairs. It was brilliant, I got a lot of relaxing done in that time! Before that age, in the moses basket wherever we were. It's alright to leave them to go to the loo or shower etc.

1234Becca · 09/01/2022 23:04

Our baby is 3 months and we’ve just started to use a monitor for some naps and for the first few hours before we go to bed in the evening. We position the camera so we can see her chest moving and dummy moving - then it’s a race to get the dummy back in when we see it fall out! I didn’t think that we’d do it this early but it’s been working really well and gives us a little bit of time back. :)

Snoopsnoggysnog · 09/01/2022 23:08

@user1477249785

It's worth also knowing that while you might get an easy baby, many many babies won't let you just pop them down to nap. I hadn't quite realised this and was surprised to find myself pinned under a baby for the first few weeks.

This, I had no chance of actually leaving the room and I have twins who never slept at the same time

MGee123 · 10/01/2022 08:17

Advice is with you (ie same room) for all naps/sleeps until 6 months. In reality I think a lot of people move away from this a bit after the first few months. From 4 months we started putting our baby for naps upstairs with a monitor and also put her to bed up there around 7/8 with the monitor and stayed downstairs for a few hours in the evening. We were aware of the risks but made an educated decision on what was best for us. Absolute life changer - having a few hours to get stuff done or just be 'us' is amazing.

NavigatingAdolescence · 10/01/2022 08:21

OP, read up on the fourth trimester. Based on this question I suspect you’re about to be more surprised than most new parents.

Gingerbreadrules · 10/01/2022 08:25

Really?? My kids are a lot older now (11,13,15)but I never ever got told to have them in the same room. If you have a monitor or a small house where you can hear everything I can't see the problem with them being in another room.

Not that I followed her but I thought that the Gina Ford thing was all naps in cot in own room. Or is that massively out of fashion now?

Having said that my kids at that age just fell asleep on the boob and I mostly held them til they woke as they would wake if I tried to put them into the Moses basket. Or they slept in the pram or car seat. But if I had a baby that would sleep in a basket or cot, I would definitely have got on with stuff in another room while they did so.

BitcherOfBlakiven · 10/01/2022 08:29

My eldest two are 13 and 11 and it was well known to keep them in the same room.

It’s not about fashion, it’s about science and SIDS.

Itonlytakesonetree · 10/01/2022 08:29

Mine was upstairs for naps from 6 weeks but this was against SIDS advice. (She is 16, so the advice is not new). She slept brilliantly when not distracted by vibrations, so it worked for us.

ZoeTheThornyDevil · 10/01/2022 08:31

Sorry, but if you think a newborn is going to fall asleep in a cot, on their own, at all, you may have another think coming

Where newborns like to sleep is on a person.

WheelieBinPrincess · 10/01/2022 08:35

DS has napped in another room alone (flat, no stairs) since three months, same as his first part of sleep in the evening until we go to bed at 11. We have a monitor. It would feel very odd now to have him ‘go to bed’ in the living room with us. He’ll hopefully be totally in hos own room at six months.

Youngstreet · 10/01/2022 08:35

We put ds in his own room at 2 weeks old 37 years ago. 6 years later dd stayed with us for 6 months.
Makes me shudder when I look back but the information just wasn't out there in the early 80's.
I think Anne Diamond did a lot to change things.

WheelieBinPrincess · 10/01/2022 08:36

BUT for the first few weeks, he napped or slept on us, almost exclusively!

youtown · 10/01/2022 08:38

Honestly, I'm shocked you know so little about babies when you're about to have one. I'm the nicest way, start reading some manuals to get a grasp of what is to come because I think you're in for a surprise.

I say that as someone who doesn't have kids due to being aware of how difficult they can be!

NavigatingAdolescence · 10/01/2022 08:40

Really?? My kids are a lot older now (11,13,15)but I never ever got told to have them in the same room. If you have a monitor or a small house where you can hear everything I can't see the problem with them being in another room.

You took a massive risk without understanding that you were. SIDS guidance has been around a long time and is backed by science. (No monitor can replace them being able to hear you breathe.)

Seeline · 10/01/2022 08:40

@Gingerbreadrules

Really?? My kids are a lot older now (11,13,15)but I never ever got told to have them in the same room. If you have a monitor or a small house where you can hear everything I can't see the problem with them being in another room.

Not that I followed her but I thought that the Gina Ford thing was all naps in cot in own room. Or is that massively out of fashion now?

Having said that my kids at that age just fell asleep on the boob and I mostly held them til they woke as they would wake if I tried to put them into the Moses basket. Or they slept in the pram or car seat. But if I had a baby that would sleep in a basket or cot, I would definitely have got on with stuff in another room while they did so.

Mine are 17 and 20 and the advice then was to have them in the same room for all sleep until 6m. The 20yo never slept so the advice didn't really matter for him though ....

Dollywilde · 10/01/2022 08:40

Yeah, we had a Moses basket in the lounge until she was 4 months, sometimes she’d let us put her in for a portion of the evening/for her nap, sometimes she’d insist on being held. After 4 months we started getting into a bedtime routine and rocked her to sleep before putting her down in our room, naps remained contact naps or in the pram until 7 months. She moved into her own room at 6 months and then we tackled the rocking to sleep stuff then. I know the advice is until 6 months but she was on the top percentiles and a strong baby (she was sitting unaided at 4.5 months when we were putting her down in our room for the start of the night) so I was comfortable with the risk.

WheelieBinPrincess · 10/01/2022 08:42

@youtown

Honestly, I'm shocked you know so little about babies when you're about to have one. I'm the nicest way, start reading some manuals to get a grasp of what is to come because I think you're in for a surprise.

I say that as someone who doesn't have kids due to being aware of how difficult they can be!

You can read all the ‘manuals’ you like 🙄

Babies are not cars though, and they don’t read the manuals either.

I’m sure OP will be fine.

NavigatingAdolescence · 10/01/2022 08:43

@Dollywilde

Yeah, we had a Moses basket in the lounge until she was 4 months, sometimes she’d let us put her in for a portion of the evening/for her nap, sometimes she’d insist on being held. After 4 months we started getting into a bedtime routine and rocked her to sleep before putting her down in our room, naps remained contact naps or in the pram until 7 months. She moved into her own room at 6 months and then we tackled the rocking to sleep stuff then. I know the advice is until 6 months but she was on the top percentiles and a strong baby (she was sitting unaided at 4.5 months when we were putting her down in our room for the start of the night) so I was comfortable with the risk.

How does sitting independently/being heavier or taller than others of her age predict how mature her respiratory system is?

youtown · 10/01/2022 08:49

@WheelieBinPrincess I appreciate babies don't come with manuals but it would be a start.

Having a child and not doing any research whatsoever strikes me as naive.

Echobelly · 10/01/2022 08:52

Got to say I was never told someone should be in the room when they're napping when tiny. I was aware of stuff about safe bedding and temperature not putting them on front, and risks of co-sleeping, never napping with them on sofas, but no one ever suggested to me, nor did any books/website I read say anything about being in room with them (this was 10-13 years ago), so I think a bit harsh to suggest people who didn't pick up on this are missing some obvious information - I expect some health visitors/nurses are perhaps stronger on this than others, so maybe some parents have had that drummed into them whereas others may not have heard it at all.