Baby 7 months on Tuesday - constantly waking through the night for over a week

[LML40]

Hi,

So, my LO has never been a great sleeper, but there was a stage where he was only waking up 2 times in the night (he's breast fed). For the past week he goes down at 7:30/8 for 3 hours or so and then he's up every hour and sometimes just 20 mins. I've started to introduce food, but just for fun tastes and he doesn't seem to have any problems when it comes to poo's etc. He's very regular!

He's 7 months on Tuesday - is there some kind of regression? He's been putting everything in his mouth for as long as I can remember so was thinking maybe it's getting worse now and it's his gums/teeth?

I feed him before bed each night, but he doesn't fall asleep when doing that now, but I do have to soothe him. He goes down for naps fine and doesn't fight, but I do have to put lullaby's on and rock him a little before he goes down. Maybe I'm doing everything wrong!!!

He's not too cold or too hot either.

I'm absolutely exhausted and just yesterday my dad was diagnosed with cancer for the 2nd time so everything as it is has become so overwhelming and with no sleep it's worse than ever.

Any advice would be great!

Unfortunately I don’t have any advice, but I am in exactly the same position with my 7-month old and it’s exhausting, so I’m here in solidarity. Sleep has definitely regressed this past week and now she just will not stay asleep for any length of time for a large part of the night - we have the opposite to you though in that she’ll not stay down for more than 20-50 minutes for the first part of the night, but from about 1am will start doing longer stretches. She’s definitely not teething (we’ve already got two teeth, so I know the signs with her), and it doesn’t seem to be gastric related, so don’t think it’s weaning either. I’m trying to just roll with it and chalk it up to another one of her funny phases, but I’m so tired and despondent… when will she learn how to sleep properly

As mad as it sounds, knowing someone who is in the same position as me makes me feel better!

I spoke with my sister today and I think my issue is I haven't let him self soothe at bed time or nap time and she has insisted I start to do it or that's sleep out the window for me for 2 years 😂.

I started today and it's been relentless, but I'm going to persevere.

What do you do get your LO to sleep?

I'm literally full of anxiety every time I think of this whole process, but I can't handle this lack of sleep anymore 🤪

Xxx

How you getting on OP? I’m bloody knackered after another night stuck in this shit sleeping phase. I’m probably not the best person to talk to about ‘self-soothing’ as I’m not sure it is something you can force a baby to do - it’s developmental and they’ll do it when they’re ready. But then I break every ‘rule’ in the book as I feed to sleep for all naps and bedtime, and we have a side-car cot so I feed to resettle through the night too. But DD is still so little and so if she needs the comfort, then I will give it to her. Something is clearly going on though because she’s gone from 2-3 wake-ups to basically treating me like a dummy and waking up all the time So if she’s struggling with a regression, or some kind of developmental stage, then I think I just need to ride it out - this too shall pass is a cliche, but I’ve found it true. I never thought we’d get over the wake-ups every 45-minute at 4-months, but we did. So I’m mostly trying to focus on survival and hoping that she’ll settle back down when she’s ready. The alternative will involve tears which I’m personally not going to tolerate when she’s still this small. It’s so stressful though, worrying about what’s ‘wrong’ and what we should be doing. I try to block it out and stop endless google hunts for answers (as my logical, non-sleep deprived brain tells me there aren’t any), but it’s hard.

So, unfortunately still no advice but lots of solidarity!! And I really hope your dad is ok xx

Hey!

Well, the evening of the day I uploaded the post he slept "normally" again. He also had 2, 2 hour naps!

Last night wasn't too bad, but today he literally had 4 20 min naps and went down at 9pm 🤪.

I too am the same, apart from the fact he has been in his own room since he was 5 months as he grew out of his snuz pod. I have a nursing chair in his nursery, so when he wakes I pick him up and feed him back to sleep. I sometimes (if it's 6/7am) bring him into my bed and nurse him in there too.

I'm so over people saying that if I don't let him fall asleep independently I'm never going to sleep. I think he does often wake and fall back to sleep as the amount of times I've left him in one position and when I go back in or look at the monitor he's the opposite end of the cot or whatever.

I give up. It's a minefield and babies are all different right?

How are you? How are you feeling? Xx

Hey! So glad you’ve had some good patches. Funnily enough, my little one slept back in her old pattern last night (so a 2/3 hour stretch, quick boob, then back down with little fuss - repeating all night). Who knows if that was just a one off, but I’m frantically praying that it means the end of this little blip and a return to her more usual pattern. But it goes to show that there’s just no consistency with our LO’s and their sleep, which drives me crazy, but I’m trying to just stop worrying about it and take each night as it comes (and use chocolate biscuits as necessary!!)

So I’m right with you… let’s tell all those ‘self-soothers’ to fuck off, and stop googling hunting for problems, because our LO’s are doing ok and clearly just needed a bit of extra mum hugs for a few nights. They really are still tiny, and they’ll get there in the end. Our job is to just love them and hold them close, and it sounds like you’re smashing it xx

Oh I'm so pleased. My LO woke so much last night, so I feel defeated today! I'm now laying in my bed with him whilst he sleeps (he woke up from a nap in his cot, but was still tired) so thought f it. I think he's definitely going through a clinging stage. Does your LO make loads of noise before going to sleep?

Totally fuck the self soothers. These moments are precious and if I am screwing myself over then whatever as it's not forever. He's not going to need me so much one day, so whilst he does I'm going to do what he needs.

How are you feeling? Xx

Haha… I’m currently contacting napping with my little one too, and loving it! And I’m loving having someone else out there who is embracing it like me. Honestly, I get so dispirited by all the mums on here who are frantically trying to get their tiny babies to sleep ‘independently’… your baby won’t sleep in the cot because they want a hug, so bloody hug them!! And no, your baby won’t sleep through, because they’re not biologically supposed to. You can ‘train’ them, but be under no illusion - you are not teaching your baby to ‘self settle’, you are teaching them that you won’t come to them when they cry. It breaks my heart.

There, I said it. That feels better!! I may be deleted or get a load of others piling on in defence of their actions, but ultimately, I know I’ve never left my baby to cry out for me, not even for 2 minutes (aka the horrendous Ferber method) and nobody will ever convince me that their little one is better off having been ignored. Bad sleep is kind of what you sign up for when you have a baby. Yes it bloody hard, but hug your children!!

Anyways, that’s my rant over with! Sorry your LO had a rough night, I know that feeling of being defeated - but you aren’t defeated!! You’re being an amazing mum and your LO will settle down eventually, and in the meantime you’re making him feel incredibly safe and loved, and that’ll pay dividends for the rest of his life. Thankfully my DD had another good night, so I’m not doing too bad today. Funny you should mention noise, because actually my LO is such a quiet sleeper - she barely makes any sound, which I think is quite rare, so noises before sleep is normal

Sending hugs in solidarity

Hello!!!

I absolutely loved your "rant" I wish more people were like you. I'm so sick of seeing articles, books, sleep trainers on Instagram talking about self soothing etc. Ok, so there must be an element of them needing to at some point, but my LO is just 7 months, I mean come on. Like you said if they need us to we are there. I find the whole CIO method absolutely horrific!

I also think about women/families in other countries...they don't have all of this nonsense rammed down their throat. They co sleep and god knows what else we are told we absolutely cannot do.

EXACTLY! Sleep deprivation is the norm!

I also get asked alllll the time 'oh I bet you cant wait to have a break, go out etc' I'm like, why would I be desperate to go out and leave my LO? I've had that life for over 20 years and now my life is my LO. I've not left him for more than a few hours where I've slept at my mums as I wasn't feeling well and she played with him, but I've not physically been apart. I get absolutely ridiculed for it and get told 'I'm making a rod for my own back' WTF??? Anyway, that's my rant over.

How are you??! All ok?

Xxx

I'm on baby number 2 at the moment and if there is anything I've learned it's that these phases of disturbed sleep come and go, and there is only so much you can do. With DC1 I read every book under the sun and tried everything, but now I'm just riding it out, trying to work towards independent falling asleep but not beating myself up if i need to resort to feeding to sleep.

One easy thing to check is if baby is warm enough - I've had a few really bad nights recently (coinciding with the colder weather kicking in) and by dressing DS up a little warmer we've managed to restore his notmal skeeping pattern.

Good luck, and remember that this too shall pass.

Can I join please. My daughter is a bit younger at 5 1/2 months. She slept 12 hours through the night with one waking for a feed from 6 weeks until the 4 month sleep regression when it all fell apart. And just when I was expecting her to come out of that regression, she got 10 times worse

It's slightly better now but she is still waking 10 times in the night and I am breastfeeding her back to sleep lying down in a sidecar cot. The exhaustion makes me low at times.

I love your rants and am with you all the way. I want better sleep but I will fight them on the beaches if they think I should let my little baby who I spent 3 years conceiving cry alone in her cot.

Tonight I'm thinking of trying to see if I can rock her back to sleep instead of feed. When my mum stays she rocks her with no problem but then she doesn't smell of boob. Worth a try though.

Yes, welcome @Doughnut100!! The more the merrier . We can set up a support group for fellow exhausted mums who refuse to punish our little babies for just wanting cosy nighttime snuggles! We give all the nighttime snuggles here! So glad you’ve finally got your precious DD after a tough journey conceiving, how lovely you have her with you now. Sounds like the regression hit you hard though - we were the same, it’s awful. It did finally get better towards 6-months, although then regressed a bit a few weeks ago (hence why this thread is here!), but it’s settled back down again. Basically, it’s like one unpredictable exhausting rollercoaster. But, I know that if you plotted every night on a graph, whilst there would be lots of ups and downs, the generally trajectory is up. It’s just a really slow process. And I think I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s just about accepting that - our LO’s are learning and they are getting there, it’s just taking them a bit longer. And the idea that I wouldn’t just hold my DD as she’s learning what it is to be an actual person, baffles me - she’s got less of a clue what’s going on than I do, so I’ll hold her close and make sure she feels safe and warm as she grows. Nobody will ever convince me that’s wrong!

And yes @LML40 what is with people assuming I want to leave my child?!? She is so tiny I wouldn’t want to go anywhere if she wasn’t with me. That’s sort of why I had her, isn’t it? I don’t get it

But doing this is seriously fucking hard though, so it’s nice to know there’s others out there feeling the same. Big hugs to both of you because you’re doing an incredible job and your LO’s will feel so loved and secure because you’ve held them close, and what more could we possibly want xx

@DoubleHelix79 I think you’re absolutely right about checking on temperature - my LO was really unsettled last night and I think she was cold. Great suggestion because sometimes we can be so busy worrying about ‘bigger picture’ sleeping patterns, we miss little things that could be disturbing our LO’s. And ‘this too shall pass’ is said on repeat in this household! It’s absolute shit when you’re in it, but it isn’t forever (dear god please tell me it isn’t forever!! ) x

Oh ladies! I love this. Isn't it great when you discover you're not alone?!

I think the temperature situation is a potential factor we do miss. I certainly was so obsessed with him "overheating" that he was probably not dressed appropriately sometimes.

Last night I put him in a vest, a baby-grow and a 2.5 tog gro-bag, he went down at 7:50 (obviously fed to sleep ) and slept for just under 6 hours, had a 10 min feed and slept for another 3. Who knows what tonight will bring??! I'll be sure to update you. Ha.

I live in a converted chapel, so although the heating is really good, it does have its days where it can be cold when the temperature drops like it does.

How is everyone this evening?!

Xxx

@LML40 A converted chapel - that sounds awesome! And good luck tonight. Last night sounds pretty good so hopefully you are onto a winning streak. Yes, so good to know there are others out there.

I have dragged the snuzpod back into the bedroom as well as the cot so I can try rocking her in it. I'm wearing my partner's t shirt to disguise the milk smell. Last night we had ten wakings so the only way is up!

@canyoutoleratethis yes I'm always very confused by temperature. I err on the side of dressing her slightly warmer than the charts but I don't know if I'm right. I do know she slept really well when we had a few days very hot weather at the very start of September. I thought the leap/regression was all over and started to celebrate prematurely, whoops!

I am really struggling, there is no end in sight. Up every 45 mins last night, interspersed with 5 and 10 min bits.

How bad is it to fall asleep while feeding lying down? I know you're not supposed to but it happens.

Are there other things I can be doing?

How are you both getting on?

@Doughnut100

I'm so sorry...I could've sworn I replied to your previous post 🤔

Darling - this must be such a struggle for you. I did have this for about 4 days, but mine was definitely temperature related. I know you're probably doing everything you can, but perhaps give me a typical day routine? How long has the every 45 minutes been going on? It could be so many things. Sore gums, developmental etc.

I will help as much as I can and am here for moral support, chat, virtual hug you name it! Xxx

@Doughnut100 oh and the amount of times I've fallen asleep with L0 laying on me, laying by the side of me. I once fell asleep for 4 hours with LO laying on me. Yes, it's frowned upon, but I personally am sure my subconscious would never let anything happen. As mad as that sounds!

Oh @Doughnut100 I’m sending you giant hugs!! It’s so fucking tough - that feeling where you genuinely think you might die of sleep exhaustion, and you’re so desperate for sleep but all you have in front of you is another night of constant wake ups… it’s utterly soul destroying. As our lovely fellow club member @LML40 said, we’re here for you, so always post away and we’ll try and help, even if it’s just to let you know that you’re not alone xxx

(p.s - we need a name for our little club!!)

Hey,

Just place marking as I absolutely do not want to lose this thread.

My DD is 9 months and I still feed to sleep for naps & nighttime sleep, as well as during the night to resettle.

Naps are contact naps as well & just about manage to co-sleep at night but DD always makes sure to have an arm or a leg on me.

Sad that there's so much pressure to get them to sleep alone and self settle so you can have your life back. I for one enjoy the quality time and I feel quite sad that soon I'll be back to work & will barely get to see baby & like you've all said, one day she will have her own life & won't need me :(

Thank you all so much for your empathy. I am feeling much better as I got 3 solid hours this morning when dp took her.

Welcome @Tee20x to the club nobody wants to be in!
@canyoutoleratethis hugs back, thank you.

@LML40 Thank you. It has been more or less like this for a month. She came out of the month-long 4month sleep regression where she woke 4 times at night (at the time I thought that was bad ha ha), then had a good week with only 2 wakings at night, then bang into constant waking for the last month, 10+ times a night.

Standard night with dd constantly waking every 40 mins with the odd 1 or nearly 2hr stretch. This morning as it's the weekend so he didn't have to go to work, my partner took her out at 630am so I could get some sleep. She slept solidly for him, took a bottle of expressed milk (she has never done this before) and went back to sleep.

Every time my mum stays over she goes into my mum's room in the early hours and sleeps solidly. Same behaviour now for dp. I think being close to me and the milk smell is making her unable to settle herself.

This is a strange turn, I am the last person I expected to want to do this but it's got me thinking about getting her into her own room or at least into a cot away from me. Definitely no cry it out or even crying at all, and not sure how to go about it yet, but I've been searching and many people say everyone slept better when the baby was in their own room.

I think we are going to try tonight with her in a separate cot on my partner's side of the bed so she isn't so close to me, and see how it goes. If she gets upset dp will pick her up and soothe her, and I will feed her if necessary. (We can't do this in the week as dp has to drive for work so if he is sleep deprived as well as me I will just be anxious about him crashing his van).

I'm fully expecting this not to work, nothing else has! But it's getting ridiculous, and it does seem that being so close to me is making her worse at sleeping. I'm still in the club though! I don't want to get her away from me or not respond to her when she needs me.

Welcome @Tee20x!! Great to have another member in our gang. We’re all about the contact naps, co-sleeping and feeding to sleep here, so you’re in perfect company. As you said, so much focus is out on trying to get ‘independent sleep’ and leaving babies alone, and everyone is absolutely entitled to do things their own way, but it can make us mums embarrassed or ashamed to be doing it our way - like we’re failing or doing things wrong (the dreaded ‘rod for your own back’ phrase) - but I don’t believe we should be fighting our natural instincts to feed and hold our babies as they sleep, so I definitely won’t be changing my approach. Which means it’s bloody tough at times, so this thread is absolutely the place to come when you need some support after a tough night

How much longer have you got on mat leave? Are you returning full time? It’s such a difficult step, but you’ve given DD limitless love and care these past 8 months so she’s going to be about as securely attached as is possible to be, and that’s going to have made her so super strong and resilient!! Nothing can break that bond now xx

Hey @Doughnut100 just wanted to say good luck for tonight! For what it’s worth, I absolutely think trying your DD in her own room is a really good idea, as it sounds as if she may be disturbed by your smell. Of course it doesn’t mean you’re leaving her in there, nobody will think that, but it may just give her the space to settle herself as she clearly does with others. I really hope it works as you are battling some horrendous sleep deprivation. Sending lots of hugs and thinking of you! Message on here if you need to and let us know how you get on!! xx

@canyoutoleratethis thank you, I will let you know how it goes. God I hate that phrase so much 'rod for your own back'. Dp's step mum used it the first time she met our daughter at a few days old. Jesus christ.

Thanks for the warm welcome all,

@canyoutoleratethis I'm going back beginning of Jan, so only have a few months left unfortunately. The time seems to have gone by so quickly!!

I used to be so concerned about holding to sleep etc, but now that I'm getting to the point where most of my time will be spent apart from DD, I'm glad that we've been able to spend this year together & I know that soon she will get to a point where she will be able to settle for herself and get to sleep.

I'm looking at moving house, and at that point DD will have her own room so maybe then I will how she is about settling herself down.

My biggest concern is that obviously now that I'm not working, contact napping and cosleeping goes well. But what will I do when nursery starts and she has to go to bed for an early start while I'm still pottering around the house.

At the moment DD goes down between 8-9 & I just chill in the bedroom with her until I'm ready to sleep at about 11ish as I've already had enough time to eat and sort things out during the day.

When I start work, I'll need to majorly adjust as we will need to be up by 7am & im sure I'll need evenings to get on top of things so she will have to learn to sleep without me!

@Doughnut100 1000000% try this tonight. At 5 months my LO one was outgrowing his cot and kept disturbing himself along with my partner and I probably disturbing him too (snoring, moving, going to the bathroom etc) he went in his own room at just over 5 months and it's worked so far. I had an issue with temperature change and etc. Which I think I've cracked 🤔. He wakes twice in the night, but from about 5/6 he is up ready to start the day, but he goes to sleep around 7:30/8:30.

It's all trial and error I'm sure of it.

All babies are soooo different and that's why all this nonsense they drum into you makes you feel like you're doing everything wrong! We're not, we're doing our best and at some point it's going to just fall into place and we can take solace in the fact we held our babies close when they needed us etc.

Keep me us posted! GOOD LUCK!!!

Xxx