What time does your 4 year old go to bed?

[MonsteraCheese]

We're having a hard time at the moment with just turned 4 yo DS. Bedtime routine is set in stone and has been for years, so routine is not a problem. In bed normally around 7 and asleep between 7:30/8. At the moment he just refuses to go to sleep, won't stay in bed, makes a nuisance of himself. Last night he didn't sleep until 8:30, tonight 9, a few nights ago 10. He's obviously tired but won't sleep.

I have wondered if 7 is too early for him and if I should start to push bedtime back a bit for him. What time does your 4 year old go to bed?

DS used to go to sleep at 7/7.30 but now it's more like 9, I think it's the light evenings as he's aware that it's still daylight

My 4YO is always in bed at 7 and we say good night and that’s my part done. She often needs a little quiet chill out before she’s ready to sleep, which is fine, and she can play with the small selection of toys in her room or look at a books until she’s tired. She’s always asleep when I go to check on her at around 8. She’s up every day at around 7 which suits us fine since the baby is usually up at 6.30.

@DinoHat and @LuckyWookie bedtime routine started at 1 day old, its well earnt! Lights out from 7pm, every night. It's like I've brainwashed them

Honestly I’ve never seen the point in trying to force kids to go to bed. If they’re not tired then they’re not tired. Perhaps it’s because I recall my mother forcing me to bed hours before I was tired. It was miserable. And it’s usually because the parents don’t want to parent any more tonight, not because it benefits the child.

@DeadButDelicious

She goes to bed at around 7pm, usually asleep by half past. When we've had a spate of not nodding off and messing about in her room, it's usually coincided with a bit of a leap, the last time, was when she started drawing actual pictures rather than mostly scribble, once that happened she settled back down and normal service resumed.

Ahh, @DeadButDelicious this is interesting. He's got very grown up, all of a sudden, in behaviour and looks and lots of growing pains. Maybe we just need to weather it!

Mine were guaranteed up about 5-6am so bedtime was started at 5.30-6pm. That was baths and tooth brushing, bedtime stories and then off to sleep around 7pm.

My 4 year old is in her room messing around right now, 9.35pm. She's started testing limits going to bed recently too. Was always in bed and asleep for 8.30pm up until now, great routine etc too.

@LuckyWookie

Honestly I’ve never seen the point in trying to force kids to go to bed. If they’re not tired then they’re not tired. Perhaps it’s because I recall my mother forcing me to bed hours before I was tired. It was miserable. And it’s usually because the parents don’t want to parent any more tonight, not because it benefits the child.

Not trying to force him, I completely agree, if they're not tired, they're not going to sleep. But he is tired! I don't want to force him to bed, but equally, I don't want to blur the boundaries between playtime/awake time and downtime/bedtime. Thus me wondering if he'd be better with a later bedtime.

Argh mine goes to sleep 6-630 and gets up around 5 😩

We can’t seem to break the cycle. If I try to keep him up he still gets up at 5 then is so tired the next day he is sound by 6pm. I have resigned myself to this just being his pattern...

@MistyFrequencies that's made me feel better! It is testing boundaries, that's exactly what I think DS is doing. And he is super stubborn. The other night he wouldn't go to sleep I think because he wanted to watch a big sporting event on the TV, but he wouldn't tell me that. Said if he did tell me, I would have let him watch. But then he also said it was because his throat hurt (pretty sure it didn't!).

@LuckyWookie

Honestly I’ve never seen the point in trying to force kids to go to bed. If they’re not tired then they’re not tired. Perhaps it’s because I recall my mother forcing me to bed hours before I was tired. It was miserable. And it’s usually because the parents don’t want to parent any more tonight, not because it benefits the child.

Couldn’t agree more. Mine go to bed about 10:30-11pm. Fall asleep naturally. Wake up around 8-9am

Can’t imagine sending kids to bed at 7-8 when it’s still sunny outside

He's getting 10 plus hours a night so that is good

Maybe that's all he needs?

Sounds like we have similar kids. Mines very strong minded too. It's not her throat though, apparently she can feel a "red dot" inside her nose that's keeping her awake 😂😂.

@Motherofmonsters

DS used to go to sleep at 7/7.30 but now it's more like 9, I think it's the light evenings as he's aware that it's still daylight

This is the same as my 3yr old getting him to bed is a nightmare when it's still light at night, he doesn't get that it's nighttime

Can you stay with him until he drops off? My DS is 3.5 and normal asleep between 6:30-7pm but we always sit with him so he doesn’t get back up. Usually only takes him 10-15 mins to drop off. He’s usually awake 6am-6:30am but does sometimes still wake in the night. Very full on for his waking hours- so he’s shattered by bedtime !!

@timetochangeitup yeah I think you're right. I've been on about moving his bedtime back for a while. Trouble is 1.5 year old DD will want hers back too. DH is reluctant to move it back but I do think it would suit him better.

8, sometimes 830. Up between 7 and 8.

@MistyFrequencies

Sounds like we have similar kids. Mines very strong minded too. It's not her throat though, apparently she can feel a "red dot" inside her nose that's keeping her awake 😂😂.

😂😂

Ds just turned 4 goes to bed at 7-7:30 but isn't keen at the mo, has noticed the sun is still up! I sometimes put an audio book on for him to listen to in bed and he's usually asleep in ten mins. I've put an Alexa in his room and use cbeebies stories. Or put ocean sounds on. Having something to listen to keeps him in bed. He's an early riser, up at 6:05 like a clock no matter what. So it's important he goes to bed on time.
I often wonder how it works in other countries when they go to bed later,

Wouldn’t worry too much OP- school in September will exhaust him and force bedtime earlier.
If you want to keep the evening bedtime then wake him up earlier for a couple of mornings- depends which side of the day you value more (I need my evening, so handle the odd 6am, even 5.45am wake up).

@IndecentCakes I've wondered about this, please can you tell me what the kids do all evening?! Mine would want playing with.. So how do the parents get any kids free time to do sports, watch TV, browse mumsnet?! Or do the adults go to bed later too? What time do the kids get up? I think these sorts of cultural differences around sleep are really interesting.

@Amammai

Can you stay with him until he drops off? My DS is 3.5 and normal asleep between 6:30-7pm but we always sit with him so he doesn’t get back up. Usually only takes him 10-15 mins to drop off. He’s usually awake 6am-6:30am but does sometimes still wake in the night. Very full on for his waking hours- so he’s shattered by bedtime !!

We always sit with him until he's fast asleep, that's what he likes. Normally, like yours, 15 mins or so to fall asleep, but now he just sits up, stands up, lies down on repeat, all the while while doing his I'm-tired tell of sucking his thumb, so we know he's tired! He is just stubborn and determined to not give in. Who knows why?!

@justme10 daylight could defo be a factor. They're smart cookies, they know what daylight means!

[quote Orangeinmybluelightcup]@IndecentCakes I've wondered about this, please can you tell me what the kids do all evening?! Mine would want playing with.. So how do the parents get any kids free time to do sports, watch TV, browse mumsnet?! Or do the adults go to bed later too? What time do the kids get up? I think these sorts of cultural differences around sleep are really interesting.[/quote]
My friend (U.K. based but Egyptian in nationality), has her kids up until 10pm, they usually go to bed at the same time. She says she’s no bother and sits there watching tv and snacking- my idea of hell!!! My child also wouldn’t sit there quietly- ever!
She hates the idea of an early wake up though, her kid wakes at 9/10am....

So how do they get to school?!
And how do the adults watch anything that's not cbbc!