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Original poster

Quarter past effing four in the morning, this can't go on.

31 replies

Lilliput · 31/10/2007 05:32

I am so furious with ds (2.8) for waking this early. There is no reasoning with him to go back to sleep and he whines and cries in a totally attention seeking way that I had to get up. Don't give me any bollacks about warm milk or leaving him to cry, I am venting my anger.

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Original poster
Lilliput · 31/10/2007 05:33

bollocks even

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OverRated · 31/10/2007 05:34

Have no suggestions, I'm afraid but you have my symapthy.

seeker · 31/10/2007 05:41

Kick the wall.
Make yourself a cup of tea.
Offer him some milk.
Turn on a story tape.
Get into bed with him.

And at the risk of having something thrown at me, remember he doesn't wake up on purpose - so the calmer you can be when you first go in to him, the easier he'll go back to sleep. Sorry - hit me now.

Original poster
Lilliput · 31/10/2007 06:03

I have already punched the floor resulting in a sore hand with a carpet burn. I have a cup of tea and cbeebies has finally started and we have already watched tarzan. I guess I'll crack on with the ironing. AAHHHHHHHH!!!

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Budabeastie · 31/10/2007 06:19

Oh God - horrendous. 4.15 is the middle of the night FGS.

Is this a regular thing? What time does he go to bed? Does he nap in the day?

I remember DS doing this a couple of times. Thankfully not regularly.

Original poster
Lilliput · 31/10/2007 06:29

Early waking is something I have moaned about on here before. It has been going on since the summer, I thought is was light getting into his room so bought blackout blind/curtains which amde no difference and is quite obviously not the problem now. On a good morning and I mean really good he will wake at 6.30 and this morning was as you can see a very bad morning. I have a dd at school so dh and I take it in turns to get up with him so he doesn't wake her, she loves bed and need to go to bed at 7/7.30 which is when ds goes too. He only naps in the car if out and about or sometimes in front of TV, that's probably what will happen this afternoon. But he cannot be persuaded to go to bed to nap. He is in general being a little bugger at the moment. I think the main reason he woke so early this moring was that he was starving as he didn't really eat any dinner last night, that's a whole other thread to baore people with!

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GothicCandles · 31/10/2007 06:48

Although turning on CBB is an easy way to deal with the situation, it may actually be making things worse in the long run. You're giving him something to wake up for.

I'm not being holier-than-thou, BTW, I have 100% sympathy for you as I'm in a similar situation. A couple of nights ago 13m ds2 went to sleep at about 7.30, woke once at aroun 11.00, then again at 2am, and after that slept about a total of 2h until I gave up and came downstairs with him at 5.30am. That was a particularly bad night for us, but he wakes 3-8 times a night, and is often up at about 5am. It's a complete killer.

I do try to keep night wakings as boring and as low-key as possible. Generally it's clear that he's looking for something to help him go to sleep (ie my boob!), but sometimes he just goes boing and is ready to play. Then, I confess, I generally give up and let him - like you.

When dd was about the same age, she was a good sleeper and slept through the night, but tended to wake at about 5am. She shares a bedroom with ds1, who could sleep for England, and we didn't want him to get out of his sleeping-until-woken-by-us habit. But OTOH we didn't want to encourage her to get up so early by playing or giving her something interesting to distract her. So we would ignore her for longer and longer. 5mins at first, then 10, then 15, and so on. We would go to her before she started getting loud and annoyed, but never wait for that to happen. Gradually, over a period of weeks, we found that we never had to ignore her for more than 25-30mins, because she gradually woke later and later, until she was waking at 6ish and playing quietly in her cot for 20mins, which was acceptable for us.

Original poster
Lilliput · 31/10/2007 06:58

Thanks for your reply gothiccandles but my ds is no longer a baby and is not in a cot any more. Ignoring is not an option as once he is worked up that's it, he is very loud and very difficult and hysterical. I know there is no answer to his early wakings and my posting is a way is easing my anger and resentment towards him. My general parenting outlook is do what ever gets you through(within reason) and cbeebies or a dvd is just that.

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GothicCandles · 31/10/2007 07:04

No criticism intended. Lack of sleep - and intense frustration - makes it difficult to choose jus the right words.

It's much tougher once they're no longer penned in. Been there, too, with dd. But this time she was older than your ds, so again easier to ignore.

Poor you. It's not easy.

starshaker · 31/10/2007 07:25

dd is the same. i have to admit there is the odd occasion that i put the tv on and go back to bed (bad mummy). they only thing that makes her sleep a bit longer is if i fill her up before bed. ie toast and milk. although she is a wee bugger and only eats when she feels like it

Nip · 31/10/2007 09:13

Lilliput - I'm so glad there is someone else out there - i was up Monday night at 3.45am!!!! WTF!!!! And prior to that it has been between 4 and 5... It has pushed DH and I to boiling point. However i did one thing different last night and that was instead of 8pm bed, we kept him up until 9pm, he woke at 6 this morning which i can certainly cope with.
I know i'll get shot by the MN sleep police but needs must right now!

Original poster
Lilliput · 31/10/2007 16:45

Like I said, whatever gets you through Nip. Unfortunately ds is so tired by 7/7.30 that he has to go to bed, plus I'm done in myself and need some evening to myself. I have found that it is impossible to watch eastenders with the kids still up

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umma · 02/11/2007 07:54

Same boat here....Ds up at 4.30 again this morning having been in bed with us from 1am! We really want to get him to sleep later... and in his cot (if poss) he's nearly 11 months, what time do you think he could go to bed? Shall we try later? At the moment its 6.30-7pm he goes and sleeps but then wakes at 11-1am screaming.

HELP ME!!

lailasmum · 02/11/2007 08:07

Later bed times are nothing to feel guilty about if they suit the individual child. Not all kids sleep for 12 hours, my dd goes to sleep at about 9.30 and sleeps for 9 hours on the dot normally and wakes at about 6:30. I have noticed that the odd night when she has crashed out at 7.30 or eight or even before 9, the 3 or 4 am wake ups start again, she just doesn't need the extra sleep. Then that early start is compounded the next evening by an early bed time and all goes awry. Last night she fell asleep downstairs at 7.30 because we had been swimming late yesterday afternoon but luckily managed to get her awake again after a few minutes, then she was awake for a couple more hours. It makes a big difference to your mental state if you can keep them and you asleep between Midnight and 5 am and you will be much more awake even if you do miss tv in the evenings.

My brother only ever slept 5 hours a night (and still does). I have distinct memories of him be awake all the time early in the morning.

Nip · 02/11/2007 08:58

Lilliput & Umma, this last week my DS has been put to bed at 9pm and has slept until 6am. Still with just one 1.5 hour nap after lunch.
As you said Lilliput i dont think all children need 12 hours, so we have to adapt.

Jenkeywoo · 02/11/2007 09:07

Hi, I really do feel for you, 4.15 in horrible. When dd was about this age and up really early I used to prepare a snack tray the night before because she often seemed to wake hungry - I used to fill an empty icecube tray with little bits and pieces, cut up fruit, bits of cheese, dry cereal etc and I used to leave it and a drink outside her room with a different toy each night. It would buy us about 20 mins which made a big difference.

At the moment my dd is up and noisy at 5.30 since the clocks went back and comes bowling into our room and wakes up her baby sister. It's bloody miserable isn't it?

Babytv is good for emergencies as it's on 24 hours a day and even dd who is 3 will watch it!

SpacePuppy · 02/11/2007 09:14

Try to start his bedtime routine when dd goes to bed. My ds used to be a 4:30 waker and now I give him a bath at 7:40, bottle and bed by 8:15. He sleeps until 6:30 every morning.

cruisemum1 · 02/11/2007 09:50

my ds used to regularly wake at 5:20-30am I now put him to bed at 8 instead of 7 and he (mostly) wakes around 6:15-6:45am. you could try it and see......

Louisakate · 02/11/2007 10:03

Thank God I'm not the only one with this problem. My children are serial early risers. DS is four and I don't think he has ever really slept beyond 5:30am for any length of time. DD is now 1 and seems to be going the same way as her brother. I thought it was because I was a rubbish MUM! DD has two day time sleeps 9:15am - 11am (ish) and then again at about 2pm ish (I have to take her out in the buggy for this one!) I was thinking about trying to cut this down to one sleep to see if this helps. DS was exactly the same. I tried EVERYTHING but nothing seems to help so I go to bed as early as possible and we start our day at 5am. Any helpful suggestions gratefully received! Now my problem is that DS has started school and might sleep longer but is being woken by DD. They are both in bed at the moment because DS was soooo tired today I sent him back to bed!!!I read somthing somewhere about putting bedtime back an hour but you have to persevere as it takes a couple of weeks for this to work! What makes this doubly hard to bear is that everyone at school is complaining that they need to wake their children up to get them to school on time! AHHHH

SleepyFlo · 02/11/2007 15:53

I can totally sympathise with both the anger and the desperation. And bewilderment that it happens with child 2 and not the first. We have the continual wakings all through the night too and NOTHING will stop it. We have tried everything. GP crap too. We have sadly come to think that we will just have to go with it until she's grown out of it. Has created a divide between us too, as it is not DH who gets the worst of it, it's me while he is away and she sense's this. And won't eat as another way of exerting control. Is my daughter related to your son by any chance?!

Squiffy · 02/11/2007 16:15

Loisakate - exactly the same for us - DS(4) always up by 5.30 latest and DD (1) has been consistent at 4.30 every single ruddy day of her life. Except this week when it has been 3.30 ..... I have tried everything and given up now. We now tape everything we want to watch on telly and go to bed at 9...

umma · 02/11/2007 18:34

oh god, at least we are not the only ones!

Original poster
Lilliput · 02/11/2007 19:25

I'm going to whisper this....he slept until 7am this morning!!! What's that all about? The best thing was it was my turn to get up and you can bet he won't do it again tomorrow when it's dh's turn to get up with him.

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umma · 02/11/2007 20:31

7am!!! Oh my god lucky you! x

Louisakate · 03/11/2007 08:39

Thank goodness we're not the only ones with this problem. I am constantly on the look out for the 'answer' to early risers but nothing works. I've tried later bedtimes, earlier bedtimes, more food, less food, warmer, colder, less sleep in the day, more sleep in the day etc, etc, etc, I think I am just beginning to accept (after four years) that my children are going to wake up early regardless so Squiffy I'm in your gang, lights out at nine o'clock and record the TV. Is it our fault?