Sleep training - the evidence

[MrsMuffins]

I’ve seen lots of sleep training threads recently, and I’m finding it pretty upsetting TBH. The evidence strongly suggests that sleep training causes your baby to remain in a high stress state - they haven’t ‘self settled’, they have just learned not to cry as no one will come. Salivary cortisol (stress hormone) samples showed that cortisol levels were as elevated when baby was crying and when they had ‘settled’/gone quiet.

Studies also suggest that sleep training has no long-term effects - toddlers and older children that were sleep trained have no better sleep patterns than those who weren’t.

And most of all - night waking is NORMAL for babies! They are not designed to sleep for long periods without parental input, and frequent waking is in fact a safety mechanism that helps to prevent SIDS.

So, before you consider sleep training, please read the evidence, and consider other ways of managing your baby’s sleep. Would co-sleeping work better for you? Do you have a partner who could tag team with you for wake-ups? Can you sleep in the evening to allow you to wake in the night without being too knackered?

A good read for evidence summary - sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/05/14/ten-reasons-to-not-sleep-train-your-baby/

@TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon you clearly didn't read my post properly. I never said you don't know sleep deprivation, I said you were able to cope with the level of sleep deprivation you suffered. Others many not be able to.

As far as evidence goes - I am a paediatrician. I am a trained medical professional with access to the majority of databases in addition to extensive experience on interpreting literature. I also have experience in mental health (both adult and CAMHS) and work in a specialist hospital where we have sleep consultants who I have spoken to. I don't need to do any 'legwork' as I have already done it - the 'evidence' you speak of doesn't exist. I am fully aware of what the NHS advises and also of what is advised by specialists. The general advice to be responsive not to sleep train at all is targeted to parents of newborns and absolutely correct - they need cuddles and human contact. Not at single person on here will dispute this.
Advice as they get older is completely personalised to the family as they are all in a different situation and this is where your ignorance lies.

Anyway I am not going to continue arguing with you - it is clear you are far too busy judging and too narrow minded to be able to see that we are all different people who should respect each others' opinions and support each other as parents. I have argued with countless others like you on this board and it is like banging my head on a brick wall!

All I can say is it worked for me. I didn't leave him cry until he was hysterical at all, he settled pretty quickly hence why it worked for us. It's the best thing I ever did quite frankly. He is a much happier baby & i'm a lot less stressed. And you said I really struggle with the idea that it’s ok to leave babies to cry at night - you wouldn’t do it in the day, so why is it ok at night?! Personally I did this for nap times during the day too and again it was a life saver. It's personal choice and I understand why for some people it's too hard. Don't really see the point in your post. Just do what's best for you x

The thing with people who are against sleep training is that they never have any practical solutions. Someone says their kid hasn't slept for longer than a 45 minute stretch and they're 11 months old and knackered and they're all "night waking is totally normal". The only advice I ever see is "have you tried co-sleeping?" or "have you tried a sling?" - the latter of which is useless at night and the former doesn't work for everyone. I feel like they've all joined a weird cult and can't do anything except parrot these standard lines.

Telling someone who asks for help that what they're experiencing is normal is not offering help - it's like responding to "I'm hungry" with "it's normal to be hungry if you haven't eaten."

Going back to the OP - there is no evidence that sleep training causes harm. You might not like the idea and that's fine. You might not mind multiple night wakings and that's fine for you, it doesn't mean other people have to be fine with it though and it is wrong to judge people for taking practical steps to improve sleep for themselves and their children.

Indeed @FruitFeatures. It's on the same level as 'enjoy the cuddles' when some poor new mum is on the brink of a breakdown.

I can only imagine those who are so unempathetic either don't have jobs, other children, aren't single parents, don't have to drive anywhere, aren't waking up every 45 mins every single night for months on end, etc. I'm sure the grieving family of someone ploughed into by someone who is behind the wheel while utterly sleep deprived will be comforted by 'I'm doing what's best for my child!'. Or the child who grows up knackered with snappy, exhausted parents.

I think a far worse trait for a parent is a lack of empathy, which some on this thread have demonstrated. A couple of nights of crying for a loved and safe child will make zero difference. A childhood with parents who are judgemental and lack empathy? Now that is damaging.

And I haven't had to sleep train so I have no horse in this race.

I'm another one who feels it was the best choice for all of us. In my experience the devotedly anti-sleep training tend to have the sort of babies/toddlers who sleep well if their parents do something inconvenient (normally co-sleep with feeding through night). I'm not saying that's easy but it's totally different to a child who doesn't sleep well no matter what you do. At the point we really got desperate we were rocking DS for up to two hours in the middle of the night, with him screaming for most of it. He cried a lot less on the first night of sleep training (we did gradual retreat) than he had on an ordinary night before.

I actually look back and wish we'd done it a little sooner - both DH and I have admitted since that we were so exhausted that we felt like we were going through the motions of parenting. Since sleep training we have both found parenting pretty close to pure joy. I have a really lovely relationship with DS and I don't think sleep training did it or him any damage at all.

I'm also a researcher by training, with full access to journals (I'm not a doctor though - well, not that kind - so I'm not claiming the expertise of @riddles26 by a long way) and I read a lot of the evidence, mostly after being freaked out by Sarah Ockwell-Smith cult members followers, and I was shocked at how badly they manipulate the evidence. As people have said upthread so much of it are studies on different topics being misused - not just the studies on chronic neglect being used as if they refer to letting a baby cry a bit before going to sleep, but there's another one they love to use and claim it shows that babies who were allowed to cry more grow up to have behavioural difficulties. The study actually shows that excessive crying in infants might predict later behavioural problems - they made no attempt to assess or control for how parents were responding so it was nothing to do with letting them cry. But it's really widely cited as part of the 'clear truth' that sleep training is bad.

Hear hear @riddles26 👏

@TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon do you even know what sleep training entails? It doesn't involved abandoning your child every night for weeks and weeks on end 🙄 and it's never with a newborn.

If all is going well it takes about 3 nights of giving your child (at least 4 months plus) the opportunity to fall asleep themselves (there are slightly different approaches to comforting them e.g. Weissbluth, Ferber etc.)

I don't understand how giving your child the opportunity to fall asleep on their own is a bad thing. It is an incredibly useful skill esp. at an age where so much of their growing and developing is done when they are asleep.

Far better they have a good night sleep, than a poor one waking up every 45mins either crying, wanting boob or rocking to sleep etc. etc. For months or years (!) on end.

And again so sick of hearing that it's entrenched in 'our culture'. If you have ever been to Asia or Africa (I have family in both continents) you will see that they also 'sleep train' but it doesn't have that label. It's passed down from generation to generation, they know that after a first few months as baby gets bigger they are capable of sleeping longer and longer stretches at night, and will leave them to it.

Just wanted to comment on dealing with sleep deprivation. I remember being at uni, going out all night, 1hr sleep and back to my 9am lecture. Our bodies are best having babies at 17. 20year olds cope on much less sleep than 30year olds than 40year olds.
Sleep training helps the baby because it helps mum to have enough sleep to be a good mum.