Dun dun dunnnn - controlled crying help please!!

[Katie17isabella]

Soooo long story short. My baby is 11 months old. We've done controlled crying with her a few months ago and it worked brilliantly! Up until last week she was the best sleeper.
However last week two teeth popped in and she woke up a few times and was hard to settle.
Now I think she's done with teething for a bit (although always hard to tell with her!)
And she's struggling to settle once again. Before I'd put her down and she used to fall straight to sleep, no crying. Now I lay her down and she cries. Do I need to redo controlled crying because I've fallen back into old habits or is controlled crying a one time thing? Shall I just continue to comfort her as normal?
Many thanks,
♥️

CC worked for us with ds. Also saved my sanity.
Never had to do it with dd as she was always such a good sleeper. What does work with her is standing outside her room and talking to her so she can hear me but knows I'm not in the room. After a few soothing comments, she'll settle and I can sneak away!

Wow! Parenting doesn't stop just because it's 7pm.

@kylamsham nobody is suggesting it does? parents of bad sleepers are very likely to be aware of exactly how many non sleeping hours there are in a day.

10 minutes (PP posted above) seems like a really long time. I get the 2,3,4 mins but 10 must be forever to a screaming baby. Each to their own I suppose. Oh and mine sleeps through without CC, to the "must be tired" childish comment above.

Thanks everyone. Shes sleeping perfectly now! Thanks for the people who actually made helpful comments instead of saying I abuse my child 😂😂

Op (and others) can I just ask how you actually got your children to settle to sleep when going to bed?

We’ve got the nighttime wakings mainly cracked (teeth willing) but going to bed is another story. It can take over an hour some days of generally messing around for DS to fall asleep. He’s tired (but not overtired) and some days falls asleep instantly. Other days not

But we still have to stay with him until he is asleep otherwise he cry’s

So how did you crack putting them down and letting them fall asleep on their own?

Child abuse.... Give over ffs.

In most cases cc is best for the family as a whole. The baby sleeps, parents mental health improves and its a win win for a little bit of crying. You don't leave them balling ever!

It was the best thing I did with my first, wish I'd done it sooner.

Willow - put baby in Moses basket, say good night and leave the room ... and close the door.

I never fed or cuddled to sleep ... I accept I was just very lucky but my DS self settled immediately... but I was never worried about making sure he was asleep before I left the room ... so I suppose he never associated being with me or DH to need to fall asleep. I think it is much harder if you have got into the habit of feeding or cuddling your baby to sleep to then try to introduce ‘self settling’.

Thank you. I think it's the perfect technique for her, and is still working great. I think she hit a little bump due to her little teeths popping in! Thank you for your helpful comment, much appreciated on this thread!!

@Ragwort very lucky. That does not reflect my experience with any of my 4. My mum has said my sister was like this though... I wasn’t!!

I'm exactly the same! My bubba doesn't sleep with me, I've tried so many times and she is just never able to switch off, but she also needed me as her pacifier every night. One night I fell asleep with her on me because I was exhausted and that's the night I decided that controlled crying was the best thing for her safety! She now sleeps perfectly, so glad I did it and she definitely isn't abused or unloved 😂🙈

My DD didn’t start sleeping through the night until she was around 11/12 months old. It just happened naturally. She grew out of it and was ready to sleep on her own. I cuddled her, breastfed loads (although didn’t co sleep) bath every night. I think she was probably in horrendous pain with her teeth, the only time she will wake up now is if she is ill.

Glad you are getting some sleep. Kids can start waking up after going through phases of sleeping and I think you have to adapt a little rather than constantly try to ‘fix’ it. That’s what I wish I was told, anyway. No judgement here on what everyone else does. Parenting is hard work.

Definitely!! I got to the point where I was so exhausted I was falling asleep holding her. That's when I decided that controlled crying was less harmful then me dropping her god forbid! And now we both sleep all night and we're both so much happier and have a better bond than ever!

SeriouslySoDoneIn

Abuse? Here we go.
There have been studies showing damage with cry it out.
So do you never leave your baby to cry ever? Never need to have a shower, go to the loo, make dinner?
Some people have other kids and have to leave the little ones to help them, are they also abusive?

@Shahira78 what an unhelpful Thing to say! I often feel like the anti co trolled crying brigade want a medal for... what? Being exhausted? There is no high quality research showing that some crying before sleep causes damage to your children. There is a lot of evidence that shows not getting enough sleep does cause long term brain damage.

Also, think about this: the majority of our parents generation let us cry/didn’t have a baby monitor etc. are we all irreversibly damaged? Or can we just sleep through the night?

I am also aware of the “human didn’t evolve to sleep through the night” nonsense. We don’t do many things we “evolved” to do anymore!!

My controlled crying dc both went to top grammar schools, are six foot plus tall, and the eldest now works for a top city firm. I don’t think it did them any harm!

That childish comment was directed at someone who was saying I abuse my child. Ten minutes is a very long time for a crying child and my daughter has only ever cried for two minutes at a time.

I definitely wouldn’t class 2 minutes as controlled crying.

I think when people hear the phrase they picture a baby screaming alone in a complete state all by themselves for more than 5 minutes at a time which can go on for hours. Completely different to settling for a few minutes.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out%3famp

Thank you but it won't let me open the link, I'll have a search for it and get back to you on my findings 😉

www.mcri.edu.au/sites/default/files/media/documents/price_et_al_2012_five_year_follow_up.pdf
So this is a much bigger study than your link. The research you linked had no follow up study and used rats as its main participant's.
This research focused mainly on controlled crying, yours focused completely on cry it out or leave them to cry.
This research has a much larger study.

Goodnight 😘

SeriouslySoDoneIn

Again if you’re going to Criticise, op is not leaving the baby to cry, ‘cry it out’ which is what is mentioned in the study...

My twins had to regularly wait for their turn to be fed, and they cried. My 3rd and 4th babies sometimes cried when they were waiting to be fed/cuddled because I was looking after someone else in that moment. Leaving a baby to cry for a short time is often completely unavoidable; it can’t be that damaging, surely?

Knackered, stressed mum can be much worse.

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