Why is my 10mo waking every 45 minutes?

[Lovage]

I know 45 minutes is a sleep cycle, so clearly he's lost the ability to settle himself back to sleep when he comes out of deep sleep. Or he's sleeping more lightly generally But why, and what the hell can I do about it?!

It's not the whole time, quite. His morning nap has only been for 45 minutes for a while, so I guess that one doesn't matter. He usually has a 2 hr nap in the afternoon but recently he wakes and cries really hard after 45 mins. If you go in and pick him up and generally comfort him he then goes back to sleep quite quickly for another 1 - 1 1/2 hrs (so I suppose that's a patch where he is sleeping a bit longer). At bedtime he often wakes and cries briefly every 45 mins until we go to bed and I bf him again at 10.30ish. Sometimes he needs attention, sometimes he just grizzles a bit or cries for a few seconds, is quiet for a few seconds, cries for a few seconds etc. in which case we don't usually go in to him and he does resettle quite quickly. Again, that's bearable although it means we feel we can't leave him with a babysitter at the moment.

But at night it's really tough. He does generally go through until 1am from that 10.30 feed (big deal!). Then often he cries a bit but settles himself before I've woken up properly. Then basically he carries on waking and crying every 45 mins until about 5.00 when he'll often go to sleep until 6.30 when he wakes for the day. Sometimes he'll settle himself, sometimes his Dad rocking in his arms is enough, sometimes only a bf will do. He doesn't seem to be in pain and is not obviously teething at the moment. Sometimes we've given him Medised in desperation anyway in case he is in pain and that sometimes seems to break the cycle and sometimes it has no effect whatsoever. Sometimes a bf does mean he settles for a few more hours, sometimes it has no effect apart from calming him that time.

He doesn't do this the whole time but probably every other day for the past 10 days and a couple of times a week for the past 6 weeks.

Any ideas, experiences, tips?
I'm getting pretty desperate and wound up here...

Lovage is your baby crawling yet? My ds is 10 and half months and started crawling last week and is sleeping so well (still waking around 5.30) he is asleep by 7pm. If he has a hard time settling I just sit by his cot without making eye contact or talking to him and he grumbles a bit but finally goes to sleep.

Can I join this thread?

My dd is 11 months old, and has been a pain for the last 2 months. 45 min naps, and lots of night wakenings, and she used to sleep all night.

She is now in our bed, but still wakes up a lot. Water sometimes settles her, but not always. It has been going on for ages and am completely fed up with it.

Have tried baby whisperer and NCSS but it has made no difference

I shouldn't complain that my ds is waking at 5.30am! I think all babies go through phases. DS has been teething so I gave him medised tonight, definitely sleeps soundly on that stuff.

Hi Fizzbuzz - come on in! Sorry to hear you're having similar troubles. It's so frustrating when their sleep gets worse isn't is. Especially when it's over a long period. When this started I didn't actually feel too bad about it cos I thought it was what Ask Moxie moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/ calls the nine month sleep regression (article about it in the 'greatest hits' list on the left, if you're interested. I really like Ask Moxie - she's so good at seeing things from the child's point of view but also really sensible about looking after yourself as well). But those are only supposed to go on for about a week, maybe a month tops, and this ain't stopping...

Yogimum thanks for the suggestion but unfortunately he's been crawling since he was 7 months, before this started. It actually started the day he learned to climb the stairs (which is another reason I thought it was a sleep regression to start with). He's a very physical and active baby but it doesn't seem to help him sleep. He is now very close to walking so maybe that will help tire him out. A woman can dream... (well, she can if she ever gets any sodding sleep...)

Last night was okayish. He didn't wake til 2.15 and DP was able to settle him with a couple of mouthfuls of water. Then he woke again about 20 mins later and was settled with water again. Then he slept for (of course) 45 mins and I gave in and bf him and he slept til 7.45! Although doing his single cries thing from about 5 - 6.30, so waking us up but not needing attention.

I don't understand how the water seems to help, but it does seem to (okay 2 nights is not a pattern but I'm clutching at straws here). He only has a mouthful or two so it's not that he's really thirsty. It just seems to calm him down. Maybe drinking just represents love and security to him?

tryingtoleave - I'm not sure about this 'how they go to sleep affects their resettling' thing either. Maybe it doesn't work like that for some babies (ours!)

What is it with the water FFS? Is it some kind of potion to them?

I know it's really weird, isn't it. Especially if they're not drinking it out of a bottle, which I can see would be at least a bit similar to bfing but out of a cup?! Weird babies. Or course there's still the big step to go of them getting water so 1) not wanting to bf and then 2) not bothering to wake up for water either, otherwise it's not gaining us any more sleep. Still I suppose it is gaining me slightly more sleep, but at DP's expense!

I had a look at the moxie article. We definitely had the 4 month regression too and it took 2 months to fix so maybe we're getting near the end now. Not that we seem to be getting anywhere here now - we've had two awful nights. I'm so tired and frustrated that I'm not being very patient anymore and we've had lots of crying (me and ds). He ended up back in bed with me yesterday so I've probably undermined all the effort I've put in over the last week .

Sorry you're having a (n even) hard(er) time at the moment tryingtoleave. It is unbelievably tough isn't it.

Although I don't seem to be able to do the NCSS in the sense of 'no crying' (plenty from both of us too recently) one of the things I took from that book was a release from the feeling that if I once 'gave in' and fed him or whatever I'd have wasted all the previous effort. I know that's what GF says and people who argue for cc, but somehow reading NCSS made me feel that maybe that isn't the case. It's a gradual process and we're all learning (parents and baby, I mean) and it'll take us all a while to get on top of it. When I think about how long it took DS to learn to eat solids (about 3 months) I don't feel I wasted time by bfing him when he didn't want to eat. I know it's not quite the same situation cos he wasn't crying at the solids (most of the time!) and it wasn't the middle of the night (thank god!). But somehow Pantley's approach made me feel more relaxed about 'slipping'. It might slow things down, but sometimes that's the right choice to make cos it's all you can manage. I hope that makes sense

We've had one terrible night (every 30-45 mins between 12.30 and 4.15 and even a bf at 3.30 didn't stop the next 45 min wake up) and one v good one (didn't wake til 4.30 although I did at 2 anyway, and he was on Medised for a cold so I sort of think that doesn't count).

The last two nights he's slept til 7.30 or even 7.45am (which has been really nice since it's been the weekend. I wonder whether him feeding less at night (generally only once now + dreamfeed) is helping cos he nearly always wakes up by filling his nappy (poor lad!) and since bm goes through them so easily I wonder if less feeding slows down his digestion that crucial hour - hour and a half which buys us a lie in (can't believe I now seriously think that 7.30 is a lie-in. good thing I didn't know this before he was born...)

At least you got one good night! Btw, my mother tells me that her sil used to give her children phernergan every night to make them sleep - but they are all lovely, well-adjusted adults now.

I'm feeling a bit better today. Ds woke 1.30, 2.20 and 3.00 when I took him into bed with me and he slept without a peep till 7.30. So I'm also pathetically pleased with a 7.30 sleep in and, even sadder, 4 1/2 hours of unbroken sleep.

I try to reasure myself with the NCSS philosophy, but then sometimes I wonder if it and gw and all that kind of thing are just something to keep you busy for months until the baby just sorts themselves out anyway.

Oh arse. Thought we had some progress but then looked back at the sleep logs we've been keeping and realised that the few nights he goes through til 3 or 4 are the nights we've given him Medised. All the other nights are terrible. Unfortunately I don't feel able to drug him unless he really seems to need it. Damn

Have tried medised with dd. Made no effing difference.

She has improved ( very very slightly) since being evicted from our bed. Of course one of us now has to sleep in her bedroom to keep her quiet........

Has rejected water at night in favour of yoghurt

I'm sorry things haven't been improving, Lovage. I keep telling myself this has to stop eventually - noone can keep waking up so often indefinitely. Maybe they'll reach some new developmental stage and just stop waking.

We are pretty much back where we started. DS is back in bed with us, waking up all the time in the evening before we go to bed and fairly unsettled once we're all in together. The only thing I've managed to stick to is the no breastfeeding at night - and he doesn't even seem to want it. I no longer wake up to see him lurching at me 3 times a night with his guppy face. I am feeling soooo much better though since we've gone back to cosleeping. I'm even making it through the day without a nap (so nice to have some time to myself that isn't spent sleeping!). I must remember this for the next time I decide to embark on a sleep project.

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better anyway. And if you're feeling cosleeping is now working okay for you I guess that's progress, even if what you're actually doing is similar. How you feel counts as well as what's happening.

I am feeding DS less now too. Only once a night for the last week and one night not at all. I think that makes me feel a bit better, even though we're still having to settle him with water, rocking, drugging etc. Haven't tried yoghurt! Might do that although sounds potentially messy.

My lovely mum is coming to stay for a couple of single nights next week so DP gets a bit more sleep (he's taking the brunt of it cos I just end up feeding too soon). Not sure whether that will work cos DS doesn't really know her cos they don't live that locally. But worth a try.

dd woke at 3,4,5.6 last night, then got up at 6.30 am.