So babies sleeping through the night isn't a myth!

[onedayimightforget]

I've just met someone at a baby group whose baby has slept through the night since two months and can settle himself to sleep without someone in the room. I thought these people didn't really exist.

^

[JugglingMuggle]

I have two children who love their sleep, And it turned out my babies were trainable, without any horrid crying. My first was a shocking sleeper for the first 4 months. We barely got a wink of sleep as she woke every hour screaming. So after 4 months of this torture I asked for help and got some amazing advice about helping her to feed and nap properly through the day. We did it and within a week she had turned into the happiest baby who slept 7-7. It was extraordinary and the person who helped me is a genius as it didn't involve any crying. In fact it stopped the crying! So with the second baby we did it from day one, and she slept through from 9 weeks. And they still, at ages 4 and 8 years old, love their sleep. So I do feel like certainly my children were mouldable though I can see that many aren't. But it was literally all about a strict routine of feeding (both ebf) and napping. Again I know a strict routine isn't for everyone. Luckily we all like it in this family.

[R4nd0]

It all depends on the baby. We have a 3yr old who has never slept well. I was always gutted and felt like I was doing something wrong, plus it was so tiring when I was back at work. But I did get something precious out it and that was that even at 2 1/2y little one would snuggle up to me when tired and go to sleep in the day. Others whose children slept well always said their little ones would never do that. I love those extra precious cuddles, in the big scheme of things you only have very little time before they have grown and don't need or want you for hugs or comfort.

[Toyslayer]

My 5 week old sleeps for 6 hours average and 7 on a good feed before bed :) he's lush! Definitely not a myth! xx

[Stillwishihadabs]

Annie8 I don't think anyone is suggesting not feeding a baby that wakes at night. I am suggesting that 12 years ago the 3-4 month olds of my acquaintance didn't wake at night.

[FurryLippedSquid]

I have 3 DCs. The eldest woke me up every night for 6 months until a friend (who was a nanny) told me to ignore her for five minutes rather than jump to her quickly. I did that and it was painful, but she did stop crying and went back to sleep. After three nights she learned to sleep through. She had just got into a pattern.

The second slept through from five weeks. He was a large, contented baby who fed well.

The third amazed us. She was born at lunchtime but that evening (hospital) she slept from midnight through till 6 (but I didn't - I was too excited!). The second night of her life (at home) she slept 10 - 7. On the third night she slept 9-8. By two weeks old she was doing 8-8. Basically she has never had a middle-of-the-night feed. No idea why she was like that. I put it down to her laid back personality (she's now 13).

[Somersetlady]

I will probably get flamed for this but have a 2.5yo and 6 mo both go 7pm-6.30/7.30am after following the Gina Ford routines having known a number of other parents that were successful on hetting a good nights sleep.
Did not follow all her advice ebf and wouldnt cio but the actual routine times worked wonders for us!

[bluebellsparklypants]

Op snap

I have huge bags under my eyes but I love waking up & seeing my DS smiling face

[Anatidae]

heard that babies are physically able to go without a night feed from about 10 weeks onwards. Moving them into their own room (is it from 6 months now?) and then doing controlled crying, which takes 2-3 days, sorts it out.

No that's not correct. The majority of babies can go through the night from six months. Some will still need feeds for a while longer. Ds is underweight and at ten weeks was still feeding every hour or so - he'd have been in a state if left overnight. Even if they don't need the calories bf is about a lot more than food- the breast is comfort too.
Current AAP guidelines are to share a room until 1 - it's just been updated.

My own view is that they are tiny, and probably not very happy about being left alone hungry in the dark. CIO (CIO is basically leaving them to it) is pretty cruel. Cc (letting them cry for short intervals) I think can work on older babies if the issue is habit - it doesn't work if the issue is fear or separation anxiety or physical.

I can deflect/ignore crying if it's the sort that comes from annoyance that I'm not picking up a thrown toy for the millionth time, or general tantrumming. But I can't ignore the cry he does when he's scared, and that's usually what he does at night. He's scared, he's little, so I go and comfort him. And I will until he's old enough to not need it any more.

[Insanityprofanity]

Not jealous at all. My baby slept from 11pm till 7am from approx 7wks,till he hit 6m.Then he decided he was going to change his routine. Which now consists of sleeping from 8.30-9.15pm then staying awake till 11.30pm. He WONT sleep in that time gap. He then goes to sleep in his cot or in my bed if hes not well/teething to be moved when hes settled and will stay asleep till approx 2am. From then he doeant ecactly wake up but is restless. He wakes for the day at approx 8-9am. You would think great but its not as im awake most of the night with his wiggling and kicking of the cot bars. Then he has little dreamy wimpers that are too cute to sleep through.
He does nap in the day. Hes better at that but he will only sleep in my bed. Anywhere else is like a gsme where he suddenly goes on full alert to all his surroundings.apart from his carseat but im pretty dam sure i aint driving all the time. Im totally screwed if im out the house as he just doesnt sleep again im not planning on carrying his mahoosive carseat on my shoulders to kp him asleep
That babys routine will chanhe and you will be there with your baby all sleeping through the night with perfect naps and she will be all jealous of you.
Time will tell or just dont go back so you can secretly believe her baby is crappier at sleeping than yours and no one else will ever have to know

[steppemum]

ds slept through 10:30 - 6 form 5 weeks.

he is now 14, lovely amazing kid, but he has been bloody hard work to parent since he was about 2. (very, very strong opinionated personality)

I would swap those sleepless nights for a more laid back easy time of parenting for 18 years!

[onedayimightforget]

Someone mentioned about the size/weight of the baby and I think that's a really relevant point, more so than age. This baby who sleeps through the night is 3 months and 17lb. Mine is 5 months (3 months corrected) and 11lb. Where she's still small I wouldn't expect her to be able to take enough milk, especially breastmilk which is digested quicker, to be able to see her through the night. Like I say, the night waking doesn't bother me, it's the inability to settle in her cot for naps and the beginning of the night (while I'm still up).

[cathf]

No need to feel sorry for me Ibiza123, I got plenty of cuddles from all my babies.
But I got them during the day, not in the middle of the night, that's all.
Being a midnight martyr does not make you a better parent.

[cathf]

It amazes me that threads like this always disintegrate into implications that parents who prioritise sleep and laying down good sleep patterns somehow love their baby less.
We all love cuddles, smiles and playing with our babies, but accepting these things 24/7 does not make you less of a parent, really!
Personally, I think anyone who is happy to be up and down all night to a smiling baby is slightly mad, and I do wonder how happy they will be to continue doing this when 'baby' is 3/4/5 because that's all the child knows.
Horses for courses, I suppose

[tinygigolo]

I think, and I found this when my LO was in the first few months, new parents just like to feel like they can have some element of control over sleep habits - it's so frustrating to be subject to something that impacts your life so massively and seems so random. So that's where things like "good sleep habits", GF et al come in.

In reality, of my NCT group, a number were subject to rigorous sleep regimes, and some were held and fed to sleep. The outcome was not markedly different, they all get there in their own time and what we do probably makes very little difference, it's all about whatever gets you through the night in the meantime.

[mrsmugoo]

I agree Cathf!

[YuckYuckEwwww]

It won't be forever, there will come a time when they're perfect sleepers will become sleep theives, but they won't be used to it and it will be hell.

Nope, my sleeper-through slept through from birth an still does now at 9, put herself to bed at 7pm from toddlerhood and never woke before 7/8.

It was AWFUL! it's dangerous for newborns to sleep through the night, we had to set alarms to wake her so her blood sugar wouldn't drop dangerously low and barely slept in between alarms for fear of sleeping through the alarm. A deep sleeping newborn is a big SIDS worry!

It was such a relief when her sister reliably woke US for her night feeds at healthy intervals. It meant we could sleep soundly between feeds without worry. although now that she's in primary school I do wish she'ld go a whole night without waking up for water/wees/cuddles etc

[onedayimightforget]

I don't think it's helpful to criticise parents for either getting up with their children through the night. Despite my proclamation that I was feeling inadequate, which was somewhat tongue in cheek, I don't feel that I'm a crap parent, or mad, for getting up and feeding/comforting my children when they wake in the night. I wish DD2 would settle herself more easily and I wish she would sleep for longer stretches at a time, especially for daytime naps. I also wish DD1 would sleep through but I don't begrudge either of them wanting their parent whether it be to give them something or just for a bit of reassurance. When DD1 was in NICU, nearing discharge where she was becoming more alert she woke one night crying. She was tube fed so she wasn't hungry and nappies were done routinely so it wasn't that either. When the nurse was telling me the next morning she said "she just wanted her Mummy". It made me feel pretty crap that I couldn't be with her but fortunately the nurse wasn't rushed off her feet and was able to just give her a cuddle. DD wanting a cuddle at 3am wasn't anything that she had been conditioned to do as she had spent every night alone up to that point, she just wanted some comfort and human contact. I couldn't bear to leave a child alone to cry knowing their desire for comfort is so inbuilt.

[YuckYuckEwwww]

I agree, I sometimes wake up at night and roll over for a cuddle from DH, I don't think humans naturally spread out to sleep, it's imbuilt for survival to cuddle for safety and warmth and security, it's not a "Bad habit" that's taught

[kungfupannda]

I've come to the conclusion that there's no rhyme or reason to it.

DS1 (mix fed) slept through from 6 weeks and has been a good sleeper ever since.
DS2 (BF) was probably on the good side of average until about 4 months and then sleep through, with the occasional short regression.
DS3 (BF until 7 months and now mix-fed) is entirely unpredictable - at 3 months he was sleeping through. He then relapsed to 2 night wakings, and has subsequently gone back to sleeping through a couple of times, for a couple of nights, before doing a stint of 1 night waking. It is driving me nuts! At least if I knew for sure that I would be awake twice, I could mentally prepare for it, but I can never predict what sort of night it's going to be. And nothing seems to influence it.
I think it's the luck of the draw, to a great extent.

[LBOCS2]

DD2 slept 11-5.30 from about 5 weeks. All went to shit at 16 weeks, but has recently settled a bit and the last two nights she has done 8-5.30 (she's 7mo now).

DD1 still wakes up every single night, and needs someone to lay next to her to go to sleep. She'll be 4 on Monday.

[penguinsdontquack]

Hi can I join the conversation? Am a FTM and recently have been feeling like my daughter is being compared to other babies in the family, not just sleep related but her personality etc! Yes she has very good vocals and can cry to express her self I.e for a bottle, a cuddle or even to sleep that's her way of telling us! Hmmm! Had to express that (family aye) but linking that to this post aren't all children different?? There's so much stuff online saying your child/baby should sleep this and it doubts does my daughter have to much sleep ! She's a good sleeper, during the day napping for possibly 6-8 hours and getting about 9-11 at night depending on the last feed etc! But then I think as long as she's happy and getting what she needs through out the day does that matter??? Anyone else think that our children feel like they have to follow 'a book' or something from what feels like day 1 and can set out their our routines or characteristics?! Ok --- within reason yes! I'm not that crazy .. honest!

[HelenaJustina]

I had two who did from 3.5/4 months and two who didn't until 9 months. I did nothing different, it really is luck of the draw!

[onedayimightforget]

I agree with you penguins. DD1 still has a daytime nap, a few weeks ago she decided not to sleep in the day for three days and then after that she went back to it. The HV told me the other day that we should stop her having a nap in the day now based on her age but those three days proved that she does still need it. I spoke to her key person at nursery and she agrees with me. Not every child reaches a particular age and all of a sudden they don't need a nap anymore. Surely you should consider each child rather than just apply a blanket policy.

[WindInThePussyWillows]

My twins have been sleeping a good 10 hours most nights since 8 weeks, but now at 7 months one of the little buggers angels wakes up about 2am for a scream down.

[penguinsdontquack]

Thank you onedayimightforget I'm glad you agree. Especially as the nursery agree too, they see each child as an individual and bet they see them develop at their own rate. As long as they are happy that's all I care about :)