So babies sleeping through the night isn't a myth!

[onedayimightforget]

I've just met someone at a baby group whose baby has slept through the night since two months and can settle himself to sleep without someone in the room. I thought these people didn't really exist.

^

[coldcanary]

If anime had asked me how DC's 1&2 slept I would have said they didn't sleep at all at the time! It took 10 years and one more child to end up with one of these mythical children
I did me no good whatsoever because for the first week or so of her sleeping through from around 3 months I kept poking her every half hour to make sure she was ok..

[cathf]

Going to go against the grain here, as I always do when babies and sleep are discussed on mn.
Although the temprement of your baby is the luck of the draw, I think there are some things you can do to encourage sleep, and I am convinced that a lot of what is considered to be good practice at the moment actually discourage good sleeping patterns.
Co-sleeping, napping on mum, endless back patting and lying with baby, napping in slings - none of these encourage good, solid sleep, but broken light sleep.
It seens to be deeply unfashionable to want your baby to sleep through asap - the implication seems to be you are not a good mum if you are not at your baby's beck and call 24 hours a day.
I guarantee there will be a response to this post along the lines of 'if my baby needs me, I will be there' but really, it does baby no harm to be put down in a dark room alone (with a monitor) and with no stimulation, distractions or disturbances, they will most probably drift off into a deep sleep.
This is healthy and encourages good sleep, which is what we all want in the end.

[BingBongBingBong]

Yeah they're not a myth, my son was an awful sleeper til just over 1yr old. I actually thought the sleep deprivation would kill me. DD has slept through since approx 8-10 weeks old. I was amazed. Am glad she was my second because had she been my first I'd have probably been a smug bastard but it's all down to the individual child.

[orangebird69]

Co sleeping was marvellous for my ds when he was infant. He woke maybe once bewteen 10pm and 7am up until about 4 months old when he got his first teeth. Then it was shot to shit. I honestly didn't understand what all this talk of sleep deprivation was about at the time I bloody do now though.

[onedayimightforget]

cath I agree with you that it does no harm but any time I've tried this with my children they have started crying. They hate being on their own which I know is likely to be something I have instilled in them (by cuddling them, allowing them to be held to sleep) but both of these things were encouraged for their development and bonding in NICU and the hour or 2 a day that I got to hold them I wasn't going to lay them down if they went to sleep. By the time they left NICU the (bad) habits were formed so I'll never know how it might have been different if I had had the opportunity to implement good habits instead. If I had had my baby with me on the post natal ward I like the think I would have put her down when she was awake but happy (as the advice always is) and she would have had the opportunity to drift off on her own, but I didn't get to determine those early days. I'll never know if it would have made a difference or if they would have been bad sleepers anyway!

[ThursdayLastWeek]

It is 100% the baby.

DS1 slept through from 10 weeks. EBF. Honestly, I'm not even lying.

DS2 is now 8.5mo and has has never slept through. Always wakes crying. Is often impossible to settle. Feels every wonder week leap to the depths of his very soul.

I'm bloody knackered! And I was never ever smug about DS1, just relieved.

[onetwothreefournine]

My first slept through at 9 weeks (nothing I did) and she's 2.5 and still a pretty good sleeper. I've now got a 5 week old who is up twice a night, which isn't awful... But I do keep comparing the 2 and hoping for a full nights sleep in a months time! Wishful thinking I think as this one is much more cuddly and clingy than number 1!!!

[53rdAndBird]

it does baby no harm to be put down in a dark room alone (with a monitor) and with no stimulation, distractions or disturbances, they will most probably drift off into a deep sleep.

Hahahhahaha God I wish. Mine responded to being put down in a dark, peaceful, room alone by screaming until she puked.

People who have their babies napping in slings, co-sleeping, etc, are very often doing that because their babies won't sleep any other way. Believe me, mine was like that and I desperately wanted her not to be - I'd happily have cut my own arm off to get mine to nap in her cot as a baby!

[orangebird69]

Exactly 53rd. From day 1, my ds wouldn't even go in a moses basket. Nor would he be swaddled.

[ChoudeBruxelles]

Ds's cousin (who is 7 months younger) slept through the night 8-6 from about 2 weeks. Sil couldn't understand why I was so knackered (baby waking twice a night still to feed). Karma came and bit her on the bum when she had her second who was"normal" with his sleeping

[milkingmachine1]

See I don't get this obsession with getting babies (by this I mean little babies) to sleep through the night. Obviously you want sleep but actually if you are breastfeeding you need them to wake up for feeds to keep your supply up and stop you from being in terrible pain from engorged breasts.
Both mine took a year to get to the point where they slept through the night and by that point I wasn't feeding them every 2/3 hours so my supply was established and my boobs didn't feel like they were going to explode.
Breastfeeding and sleeping through the night don't seem compatible and breastfeeding was the priority.

[BettyOBarley]

DD slept through from about 3 weeks I remember asking the midwife if I should be waking her. DS is 7 weeks and has slept through a couple of times and every other night sleeps from 9pm to 4/5am.
The only thing we did with both is use white noise from very early on, whether it was that or pure luck I'm not sure but I definitely thinks it has helped.

[TheCaptainsMum]

Most of the babies from my NCT group were sleeping through by 2 or 3 months old. One mum who was particularly smug and lectured me on how I was doing things "wrong" had her 2nd child this year. Her DC2 is a terrible sleeper.

Strangely, her lectures about routines have stopped.

It's all luck of the draw.

[GeorgeTheThird]

I agree with cathf. It is the luck of the draw, but there are things that you can do to help. Also, babies cry when they are tired, because they are tired. It does no harm to let them cry for a few mins while they drop off. If they are yelling their little heads off and getting distraught, you'll know. Tired grizzling is different.

[onedayimightforget]

milkingmachine you're right, I don't expect DD to sleep through the night and that doesn't bother me at all. Co-sleeping and night feeds are working for us, it's the difficulty with her settling that gets to me most. Last night I got her to sleep and the second I laid her down she was wide awake, got her to sleep again, laid her down, wide awake again. It took until 10pm to get her to sleep and in her cot. Then she slept for an hour at which point I fed her in bed with me and both went to sleep with her waking around 2am for a feed and then at 5am when, after a feed, she started her starfish routine and I pretended I was asleep.

[milkingmachine1]

OP it is so tough, don't get me wrong. All babies are different and it is luck of the draw. Of course you can do things to try and help the night sleeping. If you can ensure baby gets good daytime napping, activity and feeds in the day all this can go a long way to getting that precious night time sleep.
Try not to focus too much on what other people say, even if they have a dream baby they might have a terrible toddler. It all evens out in the end!

[FrogTime]

DD is 11 months and sleep a through about half of the time. She first slept through one night at 7 months and it's been hit and miss since, last night broke the cycle after 3 night's sleeping through - no idea why, just that I'm tired!
As a little baby she woke a lot, every hour!

[Zoflorabore]

I have 2 dc born 8 yrs apart, both slept 8 hours straight from a week or so old. I was very lucky.
They are making up for it now though, teen ds never seems tired and dd who is 5 is similar but not as bad but loves to sleep in which is not ideal on a school day.

You get it back somewhere along the line...

[ClassmateHB]

Ds1 slept 10-6 from eight weeks. Self settled. We had a few regression periods over the years but nothing major. He was bottle fed.

Ds2 was breastfed and self settled into a pattern of 8pm to 4am from six weeks or so. Coincided with being tanked up (but awake) in his crib whilst I bathed/got his 20m brother sorted. I just didn't rewake him and it went from there.

Both of mine are amazingly deep sleepers, go off almost immediately, at 8 and 10 sleep 8-7 most nights. Ds2 wanders into my bed once or twice a week max, but doesn't bother me.

But I had a huge rule when they were even tiddly that they didn't get rocked or fed to sleep. Ever. They did have musical toys, and swaddling, etc, but were always placed into their cribs/cots awake and content, at various points in the day, even if I was popping to the toilet etc.

[Tigresswoods]

DS did from about 6-8w. He was EBF & fed all bloody day but not at night. Total result.

My NCT crowd hated me.

[AsthmaAndAutism]

DS1 slept through from 8 months, with a little help from Controlled Crying (it took 3 nights of leaving him for 2 minutes at a time, best thing we ever did)
DS2 is nearly 4 months, and has been sleeping through since he was 7 weeks old! And naps during the day! I'm still a bit perplexed by him!
We don't co-sleep though, too terrified of all the warnings about SIDS etc. Both DS's slept in Moses basket/Cot right next to our bed with a movement monitor. DS1 went into own room at 8 months. Still a good sleeper now!

[scrumptiouscrumpets]

if you are breastfeeding you need them to wake up for feeds to keep your supply up and stop you from being in terrible pain from engorged breasts.

I read this so often and it is just not true. After six weeks maximum your supply is well established and you can easily go without feeding during the night. Yes, your breasts will be uncomfortable for a couple of nights, then they adjust. I really wonder why this piece of rubbish advice gets repeated over and over, it seems like people want to make bf even harder than it already is for some!

I agree with cathf, I do think most of the advice given nowadays is contrary to building good sleep habits. Babies aren't supposed to cry, ever. I do think plonking them in a dark room on their own at two weeks old isn't going to work for all babies, some just need help going to sleep when they're tiny. But from three or four months onwards being firm about getting them to sleep in their own beds, without being rocked etc., even if they cry, will pay off - otherwise you end up with a 2 yo screaming his head off at bedtime and that's worse for everyone.

[53rdAndBird]

People extrapolate from their own experience when it comes to babies and sleep.

If your baby responded to being put down in own bed by fussing, whining a bit, maybe crying for a few mins but then going to sleep, you think "Why isn't everyone else doing this? People are so precious about babies crying a little bit - they just need to be firm and establish good sleep habits!"

Meanwhile, if your baby responded to that by screaming its head off and getting increasingly distressed, you hear that advice and think "wtf, you think we should just leave babies in that state? That's cruel!"

[DoinItFine]

It's not a myth.

But there is no reason to feel inadequate.

She lucked out on sleeping. You'll be lucky on other things.

Sleep is just one thing. It feels supe4 important at the start because you are so tired.

[threelittlerapscallions]

My forst and third child were lik this. Slept trought from about 8 weeks. DD2 woke up about 5.30am until about 5 or 6 months old so I didn't count her as sleeping through. was still pretty good though, just had her milk and went back to sleep. I think is mainly luck so no need to feel inadequate. I think feeding them loads in the day helps, my youngest was on extra hungry formula.