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Sleep

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Original poster

Please please please help me! I dont know what to do!

27 replies

NbgsYellowFeathers · 09/02/2007 11:05

We are at our wits end and have no idea what to do.
Ds is nearly 6 months and since before xmas he started to wake up through the night again. He was sleeping through from 9pm to 7am from 6 weeks.
Admittedly he had Broncilitis just after xmas but he's fully recovered now.
However things have become worse. He has now got into the pattern of waking every hour from midnight onwards. Its that bad, its even to the exact minute!
Now I do feed him every time but he only takes a little bit and goes back off so I guess he's just using it as a comforter to get back to sleep. If I leave him he screams.
I have also started to put him to bed at 7pm which he is ok with. He either wakes about 9/10pm or I will wake him for one last feed. Since he's been going down at 7, he's also waking at 7am. If he was sleeping through or even just waking once I could cope with that but on the back of no sleep, its a real killer.

Dh and I havent a clue what to do to try and settle him. Our dd was a dream sleeper so we've never had to deal with anything like this before.
We've discussed putting him in his own room now but the upstairs of our house is very big and his bedroom is at the other side of the building and the furthest away from out room, so if he's going to continue waking every hour, I'll be buggered if I'm trapsing back and forth!
The only other idea I had was to just let him cry it out or do the pick up put down thing.
What on earth can we do?!

OP posts:

oops · 09/02/2007 11:08

Message withdrawn

Original poster

NbgsYellowFeathers · 09/02/2007 11:09

Nope he's fine temp wise. He has a gro bag because he quite a kicky baby
Thanks for replying anyway.

OP posts:

oops · 09/02/2007 11:11

Message withdrawn

Tortington · 09/02/2007 11:11

i am sure my view isn't popular. but i would leave him. no contact - controlled crying if you want. but there wasn't much controlled about it wheni did it!

Mumpbump · 09/02/2007 11:16

Ds was a good sleeper until he was ill recently. When I was sure he was over it and just waking from habit, I went in, picked him up and cuddled him, put him down again once he has calmed down and left him. The first time, he cried for 3 minutes. The same happened half and hour later and this time he cried for 5 minutes. The following night, he slept through.

With your ds, he is obviously capable of sleeping through the night so it's more a question of breaking a bad habit. I know some people wait for longer, but personally, I would go into ds every five minutes if it took him longer than five minutes to go to sleep and do the same thing, ie. pick up, comfort and put back down.

Original poster

NbgsYellowFeathers · 09/02/2007 11:16

I'm glad you've said that custy.
That was the plan for this evening. I dont think it will go great but I've coped with it for god knows how many weeks now so one more night wont hurt.

I know he's not hungry so its not all that bad.

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PoppiesMum · 09/02/2007 11:17

I did controlled crying too - very effective - dd stopped her twice nightly waking within a week. She now settles herself to sleep, day and night, and while I hear her wake in the night, she can get hersef back to sleep on her own.

It has a lot of critics on here, but I went in after 5, 10, 15 mins etc until she fell asleep. Didn't pick her up, just patted and re-assured her. It was tough, and you and dh both need to commit to it 100%, but at a young age, it shouldn't take more than a week.

Good luck - I remember how totally exhausting it is trying to look after a lo with no proper sleep.

sunnysideup · 09/02/2007 11:17

It sounds like habit, and maybe it's a boy thing - they want their mums!!! My ds did exactly this for a time and what worked like magic for us was DH going in instead of me.

If you are happy not to give your ds milk in the night (is he breastfed?) then there's no reason your DH can't go in....we put up with weeks of waking up at all hours, and within two or three nights of dh going in, ds had stopped waking and was back to sleeping through.

I think it was a great solution for us, ds still got reassurance and comfort but basically to him it was me he wanted and screaming for dad in the night wasn't quite as important to him.

One important side effect - he's just as likely to call for dad if he has a bad dream (he's four now) which is lovely for DH (and me!)

cruisemum1 · 09/02/2007 12:04

you could be talking about my ds! He is months and does a simliar thing.. I always get him back to sleep with boob as it is guaranteed to work and after trolling across the landing for the umpteenth time I cannot be bothered to try anything that might not work and keep me awake even longer. I HAVE to resolve this. Three nights ago he slept 8 - 8 with one waking and the next night 8 - 5.45 with one waking. Last night - hourly

cruisemum1 · 09/02/2007 12:05

Sorry - he is 5 months

Original poster

NbgsYellowFeathers · 09/02/2007 14:40

Thanks for the replies.
Ds is definatley a mummys boy and it is certainly a bad bad habit he's got himself into. Having said that I havent really helped matters by feeding him evertime.
He is bottle fed too btw.

I think I'll try the pick up put down tonight and see how we go.

Send sleeping vibes this way

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DizzyBint · 09/02/2007 14:44

he's nearly 6 months? is he on solids? sometimes when they start on food it can affect their sleep as their body gets used to it. or maybe he isn't agreeing with a particular food? just a thought.

BikeBug · 09/02/2007 15:27

We went through similar a while back (though without the wonderful sleeping earlier on!), with DS waking up every sleep cycle, pretty much hourly. CC wasn't and still isn't for me, but night-weaning him helped - I think all the milk he was getting was actually waking him more often with wind / uncomfortable tummy. First time, he was furious when I offered him water instead of milk, so I set limits - no milk between midnight and 4am to start with, but still cuddles and not left to cry. It did get easier quickly, and I fully night weaned him (until he started his very late teething, grr! - how are your DS's teeth?). DS still wakes up in the night, but nothing like as often, and I can cope again. If you can stop at least some of the night feeds hopefully sleep will get better for you too! Good luck with the pu/pd

Original poster

NbgsYellowFeathers · 09/02/2007 18:09

He is weaning but only for the last couple of weeks and hes having very very small amounts. Not even a an ice cube size.
He is teething now as well. He's bizzarley got one tooth through at the back and a tp incisor coming through! But they dont bother him in the day.

I definatley think from your replies, stopping the milk in the night will help. He reiles on it to much for comfort. He wont have a dummy (have tried about 6 different types) and doesnt suck his thumb.

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issyissyissy · 09/02/2007 20:08

We had similar problems with our ds. I think trying to cut down on the night feeds may help. It sounds like he is using that to get back to sleep. Also if your dh went in instead of you that would be goodas he is used to you going in to feed him.
My dh did that and my ds slept much better. i found it hard as I wanted to stand outside the door to help and inthe night could not go to sleep until ds had incase he needed me and to check my dh could manage!
We went to a private sleep clinic when he was 18months old as i was so tired and their plan worked within 4 days!

Good luck

lori21 · 09/02/2007 20:20

Sounds like we are were you are at as well. Hourly wake ups are hell. You just can't get a proper sleep. Is your lo a good 'napper' and are you at home in the day. My plan is to try and nap with him so that I have more energy for my aim to stop feeding him at night. I now refuse to feed him unless it has been at least 3 hours since his last feed but between time I pick him up, comfort him, then put him down. He is certainly not waking up hourly any more but it is not easy. I'm sleeping on the floor in his room with him and offer him water. WOuld love to hear any progress...

Original poster

NbgsYellowFeathers · 10/02/2007 08:53

Thnaks for replies again.
Weeeelllll, lastn night was a bit of a cop out
He went down at 7pm as normal, then woke at 9pm so had some more milk.
Then he was awake at half past midnight. I jumped out of bed with lots of enthusiasm and thought, I will try and settle him without milk.
Well he just screamed and screamed. I couldnt do anything. I gave him another try with a dummy and he was having none of it. So in the end I had to give him his bottle and he shut up instantly
He then woke again at 1:30, so at this point I'd resigned myself to the fact it was going to be another hourly wake up night. But he fed again , he then woke at 4:30! So a bit of an improvement but then it was every hour after that and we have been up since 7am.

So tonight I dont really know what to do. I think I should be a bit stronger and hold off with the milk. One thing I did manage though, was to get him to take the dummy at 7pm. He didnt really have a clue how to suck it properly but it sent him off to sleep. I wouldnt have encouraged it normally but needs must

Lori, I have a 3yr old dd too so naps are a bit of a no no here . Also ds doesnt nap much during the day, purely because everytime he nods off, dd wakes him up with a toy or screeching lol.

OP posts:

kiera · 10/02/2007 09:38

yes it certainly does sound like he is now relying on you to feed him to sleep and as I have found myself they will happily carry on like this for as long as you let them!

if you don't like controlled crying, the baby whisperer's pick up/put down method is a gentle alternative and works best if dh does it so he doesn't smell your milk if you are bfeeding. although we found we had to put our hand on him and just sshhhh instead as picking up seemed to make things worse.

I found I had to move him into his own room also and he immediately began to sleep better. If you are concerned about him being so far away from you you can get things like cctv which you can rig up and connect to your tv in the living room or your bedroom, we did this for ds1, now we have moved house and the walls are thinner so we can hear our boys no problem. or turn up the sensitivity on the monitor so you can hear him breathing.

something else you can do is get dh to give him a dummy when he wakes so the sucking helps him back off again, just as a temporary solution, we tried this last night to good effect. make sure he feeds every 2 hours before bed and a dream feed when you go to bed if you can.

lastly, how are his daytime naps? good day sleep equals good nighttime sleep and all that.

if nothing else works maybe he is waking with teething pain in which case you could try addressing that with painkillers and see if it makes a difference.

ds1 was a dream sleeper too so I know what a shock this can be!

Original poster

NbgsYellowFeathers · 10/02/2007 09:50

Thanks Kiera.
As I mentioned, his naps aren't great because of my dd. Shes a very noisy being lol.
I've tried Medised, that doesnt work.

I'll try a bit harder with the dummy tonight but when your so tired, it seems so much easier to give him the bottle because you know that will settle him.

OP posts:

aprilgirl1 · 10/02/2007 12:28

having the same trouble with my little boy so know what your going through, he goes down at 7 is up at about 10 then, 1 the 4 then 6, he's worse now than ever, im sure they should be peacefully sleeping through now... lol x

olivo · 10/02/2007 13:19

YF - same here, but last night even the boob didnt settle dd . let us know if you find a solution!

livysmum · 10/02/2007 13:43

I've myself not experienced this problem ...yet... (crosses fingers) BUT i did see an episode of Baby whisperer where a baby boy was waking through the night and mom was having to breast feed him to get back to sleep... which sounds like what you have to do with a bottle. The technique was very strict and an all night scream fest that can last a while. First of all YOU cant go rescue him because he knows you give bottle and you'll give into him so its either daddy or anyone else.
when DS cried someone other then you goes in and picks him up till he stops crying then THAT instant he stops.. put him down. and repeat everytime DS cries (the dad on the show had to do it 100 times.. so dont get discouraged if it seems like tis not working. The next night the dad only did it 30 times then the next night was 10 and then it was like only once.
Its just what i saw she has a book 'how to cool, calm and connect with your baby' by Tracey Hogg
I think that method just teaching him how to settle himself downa nd that he doesnt need you. what ever you do just nip it in the butt now so it doenst get worse.
BEST OF LUCK

Original poster

NbgsYellowFeathers · 10/02/2007 18:04

Livysmum, I remember that episode well! The mum was in tears wasnt she. Felt sorry for the dad at first, doing all them trips but it did the trick in the end.

Tonight I will be tough!!!

OP posts:

kiera · 11/02/2007 14:25

where does he nap, yellowfeathers? I have to put lo upstairs in his cot and keep ds1 downstairs but then he is 3 and understands he needs to stay downstairs to play.

Original poster

NbgsYellowFeathers · 11/02/2007 15:51

Kiera, he normally nods off in his rocker and I have occasionaly put him in his cot but we like to keep him out of it so that he asscoaiates it with bedtime at night IYSWIM.

I discovered yesterday that one of his bottom teeth has come through so that might be contributing to his waking.

OP posts:

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