Sick and tired of being the only one with a toddler who wakes multiple times at night....

[Pinkpowderpuff]

17mo, wakes 2 - 4 times a night still for no reason other than he can....... Everyone is incredulous when I tell them. What did I do wrong with my child? Ive tried so hard not to cause 'bad habits' but made no difference. His bad habit is having me tuck him in briefly in the night then back to sleep, no drinks, no cuddles, no light, no talking, no me in the room. Sometimes he goes straight back to sleep, other times I can be in and out for over an hour. Am I really the only one going through this?!

DD is 14 months and is a terrible sleeper. I have no intention of sleep training - she's just cut 4 molars in 2 weeks, had a week away in a strange place, has the cold, and we'll be moving house within the fortnight. She has enough going on. I just get on with it (and don't talk about sleep with health visitors. A breastfeed making him need you? At 1 year old? What a load of tosh.)

Thank you The Eagle, I'm trying but I'm such a worrier and get anxious that I'm causing long term sleep problems for him. My DH does try to settle him, sometimes it works but most times as soon as DS realises it's not me he will wind up so upset that I go in anyway. Usually it's not worth the bother as it's quicker and less disruptive all round if I go straight in.

tbtc I don't mind him waking per se, as long is it's not every 2hrs! I'm more worried that it isn't normal at his age, especially when it doesn't seem to be a common occurrence to people I speak with. The look of shock from others, including health professionals makes me worry there is something wrong.

Dd is exactly the same. all she wants is for me to go in and tuck her in and settle her back down. if she doesn't get that she cries and cries. she's 23 months old. It usually happens at least once a night, sometimes two to three times. She doesn't need anything, just calls out for mummy.

I think what's not normal is putting our very small children in a separate bed room and expecting them to sleep for 8,9,10 hours without a peep.

Having them closer to you so that when they rouse in the night (as we all do) a simple stroke, hush hush or snuggling a blanket over them is all that's needed.

Yes, I do agree with you. It would probably be easier to have him back in with us but he has been in his own room for over a year now and feel it would be a step back. We are going away for a few days next month when he will have to be in the same room as us so let's see how that goes! The same HV was telling me to put him in his own room at 3 months as he was waking due to smelling my milk.... I moved him at 6m but made no difference whatsoever. I get the feeling she is a bit anti BF, she looked shocked when I said he still has a bedtime BF at 17 months. I find it ridiculous that people like that are able to give advice to Mums that makes them feel bad when it doesn't work.

dc2 didn't start to sleep through the night unttil he was iver 2yo and ot had nothing to do with feeding (No feeds at night since he was about 12~18 months old).
He just needed the reassurance a cuddle :)

the one I would say is that IF the regular waking up is an issue for you (ie lack of sleep, being shattred etc...) then you might still actively look for a way to make him sleep better. For your own sake (and by default his, it's much easier to be a nice, happy mummy when you are rested!)

OP, do what suits you. Multiple wakings are very hardwork, our dd, 4, still wakes often, we get the occasional night with only one waking, others may be 5-6 wakings. I often end up asleep next to her to ensure I get some sleep. She is also an early riser. She has always been happy with less sleep than the guides suggest from being tiny. 9 hours seems ample.

Ah phooey....ditch the HV! She's not helping at all. Sometimes (though it can be hard when you're knackered) it's really useful to just mentally strip away everything you've read, heard, been told etc etc and think "what's the natural or logical thing to do" or "what do I want to do". Our instincts are pretty good and babies are very good at ensuring their needs are met!

I hope that doesn't sound patronising, but I often had to tell myself that my babies were not out to ruin my life, but that they needed something and that it would pass.

DS woke every 90mins / 2 hours until he was 2. It nearly killed me. I then had a bit of a revelation, thought fuck this and brought him into my bed. He is brilliant now! He still wakes up, but I put my hand on him (easy as he is right beside me) and he goes back to sleep!!

I wish I had just done this from the beginning - it isn't recommended in the books, the HV would have a dickie fit and my mother thinks I am awful, but I don't care as I have sleeeeeeeep!

Ds is 3.5 now, and he can bugger off back to his bed any time he likes (he has chosen to sleep there twice recently) basically though, whatever he needs at the moment I will give him in as easy for me way as I can. Its about survival when it comes to sleep I'm afraid!

pink you're definitely not alone! When my DS was waking for apparently no reason, I eventually just ignored him for a few nights (also at 17 months). As he didn't really want anything, he went back to sleep after a short time. It was basically crying it out though but I'd had enough.

I have 5 nieces and nephews, one 3 year old and one four year old don't sleep through. The older one has massive tantrums for hours in the night!

Hi everyone I desperately need some help

my son is 20 months asndhas always been an awful sleeper. We are going through a really rough patch where he is waking at 9-9.30pm every night and staying awake screaming for hours. Last night it’s was 9.30 until 2am 🙈

The problem we are having is that nothing settles him, we try giving him milk, he doesn’t let you touch or hold him at all, if you go into his room at all it makes him scream worse. I’ve tried leaving him to cry it out out of desperation but he’s is stubborn so doesn’t work. I have also tried controlled crying but going in and out of his room makes him worse. We have also tried taking him into bed with use but he just hates it, starts kicking and punching to get away. We are
so confused and now have no idea what to do.

Has anyone else’s little one been like this and how did you help them?

p.s he has always been like this, really independent and never liked any help, this is a long-standing issue we are having with helping him sleep

@Tiredmummy101 the best you can do is to start your own thread (right at the top of the page, click start new thread).
Then you’ll be more visible and get advice that will work fir you.

Mine was 1 last week so I'm a few months behind you, but he wakes at least 3 times between bedtime and morning (but very very thankfully most of these wakes are before midnight! At least for now). A friend's kid slept through for the first time when he was 5, and another friend is often up multiple times a night with her 3.5yo. She's considering delaying her going to school next September because she's such a terrible sleeper. So no, you're not the only one!