Waking through the night, at my wits end!!!

[batey]

Help, I've run out if ideas. My youngest girl(other is 4 1/2) who is 2 in 2 weeks is waking 3 or 4 or 5 times a night, generally after midnightThey are in bunk beds and always settle well at 7.30pm,but I cant seem to crack her waking up cycle. It's been up an down since New Year, we've had lots of winter bugs and she teethes badly, getting 2 or 3 teeth together each time. She went through a long time of coming into our bed at 5am but it started getting earlier and earlier,i.e. midnight! The last 2 weeks she has stayed in her bed all night but with me sitting next to the bed sometimes for 1 1/2 hrs!! She also asks for juice and has her non-spill cup of very diluted juice on and off all night. She dosnt really find any comfort in a teddy and I'm wondering how I could help her get attatched to something other than me!The one saving grace is that the big girl can sleep through most major diasters! please help!!!!

Oh poor you!! My daughter is 2 (just) and we have been going through this a bit with her as she has had bad colds and teething recently too.
The only way we could get her to stay there was to be very strict with her -which broke my heart but worked within about 4 days. Every time she turned up in our room we just put her back. Nicely, but firmly, a wee kiss and cuddle and 'night night'. One night we did it 13 times! We refused to stay and we refused to let her in with us.
We also cut out the juice - she was going to bed with her 'anywayup' cup of juice, but we made it water instead. I think part of her waking was her very et nappy as she was drinking lots of juice through the night. The water isn't so interesting - she still takes the cup with her for comfort but it is nearly full in the morning. We just told her big girls dont drink juice at night (she is into being a big girl because we have a new baby).
It was really hard putting her back, but it has meant much more sleep for her and therefore a happier girl through the day (and more sleep for me too therefore happier mummy), and I hated being so strict with her in the middle of the night, but it worked for us.
Hope you can sort it out too - good news that your big girl is so sound.
Alll the best, and lots of luck!

Thanks, it's nice to know I'm not the only one!.I think I'll have to brace myself and do the deed?!

Lots and LOTS of luck!!!!

My little girl did this when she went into a bed at 2. I, too, tried putting her back repeatedly throughout the night. However, I found I was just lying there feeling angry and not able to get back to sleep, waiting for her to come into my room again.

To be honest, it bacame a lot easier when I just gave in and let her sleep with me. Then, somehow, she just stopped doing it. I miss it now!

How long did it take to stop??!!

Batey, how did it go last night???? Are you all OK this morning??/

Susanmt, awful, in a word! She woke every hour from 12, as she has every night this week. I kept putting her back, to incredible screams, she did stay each time for 1/2 hour or so but didn't go back to sleep, and was then up again screaming. We've both been awake from aprox 3.30.
I need to be more concerted about it and have a plan for the big girl who did wake at 5, but dropped off again with Daddy. I'll keep you posted.

Batey, What is your youngests routine in the day?
My daughter is 2 and I no longer let her have a sleep in the day. I try not to go out in the car after 3:00pm in case she falls asleep, TV is banned before 6:00pm and I make sure she gets a lot of exercise and fresh air in the day. I'm lucky because I've also got a 3 year old so they play together really well, but bed time is never an issue as they are both exhausted by then.

Sister, we have a similar routine really. She does still have about an hours nap in her buggy after lunch. On days when she's had a better night i.e. only waking 2 or 3 times(!) she can manage without a sleep. She also has fun with big sis in the day a dosn't get much T.V. However, even when she's had a good day, eaten well, had no sleep in the day and is wiped out by bedtime she can still wake many times!! It' s like she recharges until 12-1am and then starts off on a diferent pattern. Thanks for the thought though.

It really sounds like a habit she has got into rather than something causing it. Hope tonight is better. It's being consistent that is the problem isn't it - when you are knackered but have to keep doing it.
Thinking of you A LOT

You could try introducing a storytape as part of her bedtime routine. My ds has listened to one since he was two and it means that if he DOES wake up now (at nearly three) all I have to do is turn his tape over (having checked that it's nothing more serious). Alternatively, you could try leaving a radio on low all night?

I hope you find something that works!!

Esmerelda, I'll give the radio a go tonight. Last night I put their music and later their book tape which she did calm down to and stayed in bed, but as soon as it finished she was off again!!

batey, not long as I recall. A few months, thatwas all, I think. In fact, last night, because I was still awake worrying about work at 1.30, I went and got her and brought her into my bed.

How did it go over the w/end? Another suggestion that somebody made to me was that I make a LONG story tape of me reading favourite stories. I think just as long as she comes to associate it with going to sleep, then in time, things might improve.

My dd is 21 months and doing exactly the same - has been for 2 weeks now. It just started out of the blue, she has always been a good sleeper, having 2 hours in the afternoon and sleeping from 8 to 8. Then one night after about 10 minutes of her being in her cot she just started screaming and screaming. We thought it was a nightmare so we went up there and tried to soothe her but she wouldn't settle unless we stayed with her, which we did. But then sometimes I would stay with her for an hour before she dropped and then she would wake screaming at 3 and 5am and it would start all over again! This also happened during her afternoon nap.

It did coincide with her cutting a new tooth, but that has been and gone now and we decided that she was getting into a bad routine so we let her cry for a couple a nights. It was really hard to listen to her screaming and crying, and the first night was definitely the worst, but then she seemed to settle down and we thought our troubles were over. Now she has started again and we are back to square one, she wakes up with daddy at 6.30am and screams to get up. At the moment she is not having an afternoon nap as she just screams the house down, but it is doing my head in! This coincides with her being whingey and whiney during the day and having major temper tantrums, which could be because she is tired.

Thing is, I really could do with her having her afternoon nap again, especially whilst she is like this during the day. I cannot even make myself a cup of tea as she grabs my legs and screams to be picked up ALL the time! I do a lot of work for charity, I also do a night school course. Most of my charity work and homework I would do in the afternoon whilst she was asleep, now I can't do anything and I am getting so behind. I hardly have any time to myself these days and it is driving me up the wall! I used to rely heavily on her nap, it would keep me sane! Now I find that I am exhausted, drained, irritable and impatient. I cannot deal with her tants during the day whilst I feel so tired. It is just a vicious circle and I can't see any end to it.

Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated as per usual!

Rhubarb,

As per the other thread, I do sympathise with you totally. I guess they are a rule onto themselves most of the time. I don't really think I can recommend anything particular except maybe trying to make bedtime more positive again - do you read her bedtime stories, maybe that ? With the afternoon nap thing, i don't know. I know my own dd is really subborn and refuses to give in sometimes. You could just put her up there and let her cry if you can stand it (im not good at this at all) or perhaps try putting one of those soothing relaxation cd's on ?? Or maybe a story cd just to calm her ?

I understand entirely how you feel. It is very trying sometimes.

Could it be that your daughter is TOO tired at 730 PM. She isn't 2 and most children at that age have 2 hours naps... she seems to have 1 hour only.
I have read Dutch research that says that babies who do not sleep properly during the day (buggy in that research is not conisdered a proper nap BTW), are so tired by the time they go to bed that they fall into a deep sleep and then have a very disrupted night.
Just a thought

BTW my e-mail was meant for Batey.

To add to Pupuce's message, I have read that children become so physically exhausted that they sleep so deeply out of sheer exhaustion and then are awake again after a few hours because they haven't learnt to wind down. From experience, my dd sleeps better the nights she's had more sleep during the day

Well my dd is up here with me now, she is lying in our bed but hasn't been to sleep so God knows what she will be like this evening! I am meant to be going to my evening class but I feel exhausted! However I missed the one last week because of this so I can't miss another!

Tillysmummy, I don't know if she is still teething, she does stick her fingers in her mouth but more for comfort really, her cheeks aren't reddened or anything and she lets me clean them without a problem. We have tried bedtime stories and she does have a 'sleeping teddy' that she only has when she is in bed, and she is very attached to him. She goes to bed fine, very happy and waving goodnight, settles in the bed fine, but as soon as we go to the door she is getting up and screaming.

It's not too bad letting her scream in the evening as dh is here for support, but at 6.30am I hate lying there listening to her and feel guilty about waking the neighbours. Same with the afternoon nap, I can't concentrate on anything whilst she is crying and screaming. I put up with it today for half an hour before moving her into our bed, but she hasn't slept and keeps standing up, so maybe I gave in too soon.

You know how there are dog trainers who will train your misbehaving pet to be an angel? Why oh why aren't there any children trainers?? Now she's saying booze and Guinness! She must be reading my mind!!!!

I hope you get sorted soon Tillysmummy, it sounds like one of those viruses that just goes on and on! Maybe a trip to the doctor's would be best. As for my dd, I don't think she is ill and it probably is just a phase, but knowing that sure doesn't help right now!

my thoughts exactly ! I would kill for someone to train my dd when she has bad habits and sleeping problems. You should be able to hire someone for a few days. Then they can be the nasty disciplinarian !

At least she's learning the right words !!! Good luck and hope it sorts itself out / she sorts herself out xx

Rhubarb, it may be that your child is ready to drop her lunchtim nap. My eldest dd did, but she made up for it by sleeping 12 hours a night. I do think that at this age they need some 'quiet time' though. Perhaps listening to a tape or (god forbid) watching a video for 1/2 hour may give her time to recoup her energies and give you a bit of a breather. It may also allow her to wind down enough to sleep! As regards the night, are you sure she isn't cutting another tooth? Perhaps try giving her teething gel or calpol & see if it calms her down? Not sure if any of these help but they may be worth a try.
Anyway, hope thing get better soon.

Esmerelda/Pupace, Nothing much has changed sadly. She is now going to bed as usual and waking from about 1pm, every 1or 2 hrs, She's not sick, not teething, not hungry/ thirsty (now takes cup to bed half filled with water, and it's mostly still there in the morning).I take your point re being too tired, but she's never slept for more than 1 1/2 hrs in the day, she wakes by herself, and has always refused to go to bed in her cot/ bed. If on the odd time I got her in the cot, say if she'd nodded off in the car, she would always wake after 1/2 hr. Whereas in the buggy we'd get 1 1/2hrs.She's also not getting out of the bed anymore, she just calls out, I go in lie her down and leave. Maybe I should just leave her, but I' m so desparate for any sleep at the moment.I have to admit I'm considering strong-ish medicine to see if I can get her back to sleeping normally. It's been so long I think she's forgotten, I know I have!! If I don't reply tonight it's 'cos I'm off for a much needed drink soon!!

Batey - I haven't read all this thread so I do apologise if someone has suggested this already, but if she doesn't get out of her bed, have you considered leaving her to cry? With my dd I am pretty convinced that she got into a habit of waking and crying, knowing that we would come. Once we stopped coming, she got exhausted from crying and would drop off again. The second night she would not cry as long as she remembered that we didn't come the first night, and on the third night she hardly makes an effort as she knows it is futile.

I know some people think this is cruel, there is a thread on this, but when parents have tried everything and are at their wits end it is the only other thing left to do. If like me, you are tired, grumpy, irritable, your dd is the same and your dh is driving to work tired (which is dangerous), is it not worth trying in order to get your happy family back once more? If you can't leave her crying then go in every 10 mins, tuck her back in, say night-night and then leave. Then she knows you are still there but unwilling to give in to her demands. It is a battle of the wills I'm afraid, I am just getting back on top of dd now, it has been a tough couple of days but overall it will be worth it if we can have a decent nights sleep.

Good luck. x

Rhubarb, I'm not against leaving her to cry. My dilemma is she shares bunk beds wiyh her big sis. Who although can sleep through most things, will probably wake, she,s 4 1/2. And if I leave her to cry, either she'll get out of bed and scream at the door,or if I leave our doors open she comes in our room and constantly tries to get into our bed. So either way I'm getting up sooner or later to do something, i.e. put her back into bed. Unless i leave her to cry at her door until she's nearly asleep, and then put her into bed? I'm not sure, I have no brain anymore. How many times a night was your dd waking up?