Where does your toddler nap in the daytime?

[Evita]

Just wondering, in light of my recent problems with dd's sleep, how many toddlers sleep in their cots for afternoon naps and how many are in the pram / car etc. And the ones that do sleep in their cot / bed at home - how the hell do you get them to do it?! Dd used to go in her cot like a dream but has been rebelling against it pretty violently for the last few weeks and I haven't worked out a reasonable alternative. And I'm knackered with wheeling her round in the pram for 2 hours. (Pram won't fit through our door open and we have too many steps to carry it up to the door anyway).

I don't know how we ended up this way after such a promising start but ds naps in his pushchair, I have to head out round the block with him, usually only going 5 minutes, then he's asleep so I take him out and pop him in the cot - I'm sure he knows he's being moved but doesn't mind cos its more comfy, but should I try to get him to go straight into the cot!!! I'm glad there's a few more like me out there in any case.

On our bed (and he's never fallen off). I suspect this makes me a bad mother, but he drops off really easily (most of the time) when I lie next to him & give him a cuddle. I try not to fall asleep too.... Then brings himself downstairs when he wakes up.

morocco, I haven't tried getting her off inthe pram and then slipping her in the cot. It might work but we've got such a difficult flat to get into I'm not sure I can do it smoothly.

hoxtonchick, that I think would be my preferred mode of sleep for dd as it would probably work but our bed's in the lounge so therefore I'd have to tiptoe around while she slept which partly defeats the point.

Evita, I also hadn't envisaged being so 'routine bound' before I had ds1 (well lets face it I was completely and utterly ignorant about babies' sleep needs, just kind of assumed they would sleep when they needed to!) But its a question of knowing your own child - definitly ds1 is the type who will not switch off if there is anything interesting going on, and will become hideously overtired very easily. There is no way on earth he would be happy with a 'drop off wherever you feel tired' approach - but I know friends who have that kind of child really don't understand my approach with ds1. I think I'll be able to wing it more with ds2 though, thank goodness. I think what I'm trying to say is that parenting style is as much influenced by babies as by mothers and you will know best what your child needs. You may long for flexibility (I know I do!) but it just might not work.

That's very true elliott. Dp used to think I was becoming totally 'anal' about dd's sleeping until he started looking after her 2 days a week when I go to work. Then he realised just how hard it is to be flexible with her sleeping and how she simply can't cope without a proper sleep and it ruins their day. And yes, you're right, we all have ideas of what sort of mom we're going to be which are inevitably changed by what sort of child we produce! Dd's not a chilled relaxed little soul, but she's sweet natured and likes things to be done The Right Way if you see what I mean. She's very upset if I put her nappy in the bin without a bag for example. So when I try to get her to sleep somewhere unusual she gets almost frantic about it. All this despite the fact that at the beginning I was much more relaxed and she did sleep anywhere / everywhere. She just changed and so did I. She's changing again now and I'm sort of trying to work out how to change with her.

My 2yo DD sleeps in my bed during the day for her naps. Or if out and about either her car seat or pushchiar (but not for as long in those cases). At nursery she sleeps on a little mattress thing on the floor next to her friends. At PILs one day a week she sleeps on their bed.

The one place she will NOT sleep in during the day is her own bed.

Hi Hula,

Thanks for this. I'm thinking more and more of trying to make a bed type thing in dd's room for the daytime and lying on it with her til she goes to sleep. Or am I making a rod for my back if I start that?!

p.s. got the clothes. They're LOVELY. Thanks x Chq in post on Monday.

dd2 (6 weeks) has all night and her morning nap in her cot in her dark room, and goes down for her lunchtime one there too, but rejects it as soon as she comes into light sleep. I have no explanation for this. She doesn;t want food and will drop back off easily if moved to pram (and taken out) or car, but this is rather impractical and I'd really like her to sleep in her cot. I don't know why she doesn't like it at this time of day - she has blackout curtains and a blackout roller blind, and anyway - the room is no darket at 9am or at 7pm when there are no problems.

dd1 3 years recently dropped her daytime naps. Now if i let her sleep in the day (e.g. on a long car journey) she will be chatting and singing for more than an hour after bedtime

inkstigmata, do you think she maybe has too long for her morning nap, or that the naps are too close together? When my dd was 6 weeks old she slept on me, or on a cushion on the floor in the lounge. I never found she needed a dark room or sleep cues at that age, she just flopped wherever she was whenever she got tired.

Oh poor you

Luckily, so far, always been able to put her down in her cot and she sleeps for at least 2 hours each day.

She has slept in car when we've been going out for day.

won't sleep in buggy, she's too nosey to sleep and sits as far forward as she can in buggy to see what's going on.

Evita - maybe you're right, although dd2 would, left to her own devices, take an even longer nap than I allow her in the morning (I'm pretty sure). As a Gina Ford follower I'm reluctant to leave her to her own devices because I'm afraid she will get colicky in the pm.

With dd1 we let her set her own sleeping and feeding pattern for the first two months, and we found that she slept most of the morning, feeding little, and was very colicky in the afternoon and evening and very hard to soothe. Because the GF routine did away with all the colic, I'm unkeen to let dd2 do her own thing.

Thanks for the suggestion though - I am probably going to try cutting back her am nap

inkstigmata, I was never an avid GF follower though I did read her with interest. Dd did some of the things she suggests sort of automatically, i.e. she'd have a short morning nap, maybe 30 mins and a longer afternoon one and a late afternoon quickie. I let her do it wherever she wanted though, sometimes the pram, sometimes the cot, sometimes on me, sometimes on the sofa. I didn't think it really mattered at that age. When she was 6 months I got a bit more on the case with it and she became very regular in her own way. Rather than the GF suggested naps she had 1.5 hours morning and afternoon and that seemed to suit her. She's been great until just recently when, just turned 18 months, we've hit some problems. But I don't think they are 'scheduling' problems so much as problems with anxiety and separation. What always put me off GF is that I couldn't help but feel that all babies are different and it seemed too uniform to me. Also you kind of get the idea from the book that it 'solves all your problems' whereas I found letting dd get on with sleeping in her own way she slept through the night at 8 weeks anyway. I think there's a danger about being 'too controlling' which I need reminding about too. They are little people not little clocks or machines (as my dp keeps reminding me!). I know I have times when I can't / don't want to sleep, even if I was 'supposed' to. So it's a case of striking a balance between what you know they need as their parent and what they are telling you they need and want in order to feel happy.

I really truly wouldn't have bothered about any of this though when dd was just 6 weeks old. All I wanted was for her to feel secure and loved and to know she was being responded to.

oh I'm so jealous
how on earth do you get babies that go to sleep when are tired or stay asleep in darkened rooms even for an hour? tell me so I can go and get one
mine (ds 6 weeks) screams himself silly and then sleeps for all of 10 minutes, wakes up, screams again etc etc etc although he is fine at night and we have a nice little nighttime routine going - so why are days so different?
next week I plan to try the darkened room in daytime thing - wish me luck

My DS has always had more problems sleeping during the day and was fine with his routine at night. I didn't want to put him in a darkened room as what if later on was away and the room wasn't dark. I found he slept better when near by and knew it was a different kind of sleep to nighttime. He started on the sofa and is now in a travel cot downstairs. My biggest breakthrough was when he fell asleep with the hoover on. I now take a dictaphone recording of my hoover and whenever he needs to sleep, I put this on near him. Mad but it works a treat. I used to have to leave it on, so that when he woke he was comforted to go back to sleep and I gradually only have to put it on while he falls asleep now. Sounds insane but the devise is completely portable and he will now sleep in the day anytime I need him to if tired. Worth a go?

Newatthis, I don't know how old your ds is, but my dd used to sleep anywhere and everywhere up until she was just over a year old, then it got more difficult. She'll still sleep in the pram and on my knee if on a train or bus but she doesn't sleep as well. Generally I prefer her to sleep in the cot as she sleeps better and I get a break but I am pretty flexible for days out etc. and she will sleep in other places too.

morocco, when my dd was 6 weeks old she'd never have gone to sleep on her own in the way I'd like her to know at 18 months. I used to hold her a lot on my knee when she slept, or carry her around in a sling.