Strategies for coping with colic

[2labs]

Not sure if 'sleep' is the right topic for this, but it'll do...
ds (4 weeks old on Sunday) is so colicky since last week. He seems to be really suffering. Had advice from doc over the phone who says doesn't sound as if it's anything more serious than severe wind/colic, but it is so hellish. . Whenever he tries to sleep the pain wakes him up again and he now seems exhausted and miserable not just in the evenings when everyone says colic is supposed to be worst, but most of the day and night. I can't remember what he looks like when he's awake and not crying. Have been giving Infacol the last couple of days and hv says give it a bit longer. Been to cranial osteo this morning but can't see any difference (yet).
Dh is being brilliant and doing his share of the winding/rocking/holding, but we are both soooo tired. ds is finally sleeping at the moment upright in a sling but that means I can't nap at the same time. I've started to hear his cries in my head even when he's not actually crying!
I know there's not a lot else we can do (have searched all the colic links on the net!) but wondered if anyone has any tips on coping psychologically/emotionally. Have been out with the pram for walks etc but he tends to scream all the way. Am slightly falling to bits.

Actually, from what you've said, he might be feeding too long. I wonder if he might be too comfy and sleepy when feeding? Maybe he needs to be encouraged to get the feed a little more briskly, and have a longer digestion time in between. For example 10 minutes each side then a two hour gap. He might just need to suck, but not really need the milk. I know some people advocate unlimited time on the breast, but personally I think that is exhausting for everybody. Failing all else, getting your dh to take him a long walk in his pram while you sleep, between feeds, can help a lot. That way at least you get a nap. Dummies can help, but sometimes increase the wind problem. Having said that, none of my 3 would entertain the idea of a dummy, I wasted a fortune on every design available. Even if he does scream in the pram, he won't remember any of this. Hang on to that fact. He will grow out of it as his digestive system matures. Be prepared for the 6 week growth spurt when they suddenly get very hungry and you think you haven't got enough milk - just keep going and that too will pass. They usually settle down well by 12 weeks.

This may sound obvious, but if you do get in the bath with him, you absolutely must have a 3rd person present to make sure you don't fall asleep!!

Ohh 3littlefrogs you sound like a marvel. If only I had your advice when Bump was going through all her colicy days. Definately think the way she was latching on didnt help, as I was in pain and had everything under the sun (mastitus, thrush, soreness etc) right up until 14wks. And as you said she was feeding for too long and probably comfort feeding. It's no wonder babies second time round seem to be easier....been there, done that! Any advice for weaning a 5mth off sucking my finger at bedtime???!!! Soz to crash your thread 2labs!

Hi bumpmakes2! Not a marvel at all, just a bit past my sell by date. Wish mumsnet had been around when mine were babies. Even after years of professional experience, I still made loads of mistakes with my own. The fact is, the first one demands all your attention all the time, so every problem becomes all consuming. The second one learns to manage without as much attention and by the time you get to the 3rd, it is just grateful if you have time to feed it at all.

i cant think of anything else that hasnt been mentioned. for coping mentally, the only thing that kept me going was knowing he would grow out of it, although hanging on to this thought can be hard. in particular, will defo 2nd the walking. getting out of the house with the crying really helped. luckily ds only cried from 5 till 9 or 10pm.

sorry bm2 - you asked about finger sucking. How much is it a problem? If it goes on for a long time you could try substituting a dummy, or if it is only a few minutes, it might not be worth a battle. I tried to give ds1 a dummy at around 5 months. He just used to pull it out and cry. Eventually he just learned to go to sleep on his own, when I got to the point of being so fed up I got a bit more hard hearted. (Sounds awful doesn't it). Everything is a phase and they do outgrow things. (I am hoping that mine will soon outgrow the current ones of computer games and MSN). Seriously, I am not in any way belittling your challenges, but unless something is a real problem I wouldn't dwell on it too much. Sucking is a basic need that all babies have, but not, hopefully, forever. Does your little one have a cuddly toy or blanket to take to bed? My 2nd ds loved his blanket, and he was a much better sleeper than his big brother.

Well he's been weighed and the hv said his gain was fine (from 6 lb 11 oz to 7 lb 14 oz in 11 days) so that's one thing I might worry about less for now . Having a strangely good morning as he was a complete angel at the clinic and cried only briefly when stripped down for the scales.

hv has suggested a postnatal support group she runs where there are a few parents with similar problems, so I will probably go to that.

Thanks again for all taking the time to post. I would have been in a much worse state without you!

That weight gain is brilliant. He is obviously getting plenty to eat! The support group is a great idea.

Hi 2labs,

Phsyical strategies; if you don't want to rely on infacol etc etc, (and I would understand why), you could try swaddling - the pressure on the tummy seems to help and it could help him get some sleep too. Fully recommend the swaddle shawl - worked for us, almost overnight...

www.preciouslittleangel.co.uk

Also, try baby bed blocks if he has reflux, safer I reckon than the pile of books we relied on, especially if he seems to be settled more upright.

Emotional Coping Strategy: when you are up at 3 in the morning, know for sure you are not the only one. Be proud that you are seeking advice to do the best for him, and know that you WILL find a way to help soothe and comfort him.

Best of luck honey,

Clare,

Mmmm posted a reply yesterday but it doesn't seem to be on here!! Anyway well done 2labs, your little one's weight gain is amazing, you should be very proud. As for my finger sucking problem 3littlefrogs (well not mine directly..you know what I mean) it seems to be an essential part of her going to sleep, sometimes takes 5mins, sometimes 30mins. She does have a teddy that she likes to suck the label of and as for dummies, she likes chewing the wrong end and then dumps it when bored. I know the only thing I can do is just refuse to do it,especially little sharp teeth are appearing!

don't know if this has been mentioned as haven't read the whole thread. Two of mine had very bad colic. In the end i found that holding tightly, and swaddled to chest was the best.then sway quite vigorously, shushing in their ear, and hold a dummy in their mouth. The last bit sounds not very nice, but mine all pushed theirs out, so holding it in meant they could suck. I think that there is a theory somewhere about why this works, something about being in the womb.
The dummy was only used till 3 months when colic went away, and it was easy to remove. Probably because I demand fed, they spent all their time on the breast really. But the method described above is if you think they have really had enough, mine used to start being sick alot as they just fed continually.
Ironically I think it was my fast let down response which caused the colic, but feeding or doing the above was the only thing to stop them crying
did do baby massage which helped a bit, but not enough to make a major difference

Hi 2labs,
My DS had colic from 2 to 14 weeks so I know what its like. After trying everything we found that sitting him upright tummy to tummy with a hot water bottle (obviously not hot - just body temp tap water) held at his back and rocking back and forth did the trick. Just make sure he doesnt get too hot.
Good luck in finding something which helps.

are you sure it's colic not reflux ? my baby has reflux diagnosed since he was 2 months and he used to scream in pain. but it's quite distinct, with wind they draw their knees up, with reflux, they buck and throw their heads/bodies up and back. point is the treatment for both are total opposites and reflux is usually misdiagnosed by doctors or they just prescribe Gaviscon infant which only works for one of the two types of GERD, ie. gastroesophaegal reflux.

if you are unsure, try and see a specialist paediatrian. can recommend people if you can get to london.

best

Roolie - my dd had reflux and used to scream in agony most of the time. At first I thought it was colic and tried all the usual remedies (infacol etc), as well as cranial osteopathy, neither of which helped. Then, when she was 3 months old, a friend told me about reflux and infant Gaviscon (she'd heard about this from another friend whose dd had reflux), so I went to my GP and demanded a prescription for Infant Gaviscon. I was bfing so had to use a pipette to give her the gaviscon after her feed, and for the first ever time, she went straight off for a lunchtime zzzzz without the endless rocking, stroking, cuddling. As it was such a nightmare to pipette the gaviscon into her mouth I ended up mixing it with bottles, and I can honestly say we never looked back - she was like a different baby. 2labs I'm certainly not saying that this is the answer for your ds, but might be worth exploring? Good luck with it all, I can totally sympathise as the screaming is hell for the whole family.
Oh yes, and I can totally back-up the comments about white noise helping sleep. DD used to go the bed to the sound of an electric toothbrush next to her cot, until we discovered that you can buy CDs that just play white noise - total and complete life-saver! Look in the usual baby catalogues - JoJo, Blooming Marvellous etc, I'm sure you'd find one.

glad to hear gavison worked for you. Luca my baby has the type of GERD where he doesn't projectile vomit but he has 'heartburn' attacks and screams his head off when this happens. since he was diagnosed he's been on Nutramigen formula thickened with a product called Carobel. this keeps the food in his stomach and he also takes an antacid called Omeprazole (also used for adults) basically he very rarely suffers nowadays not least because he's over 10 months and is also nearly fully weaned which helps enormously.

but I'd recommend the regime to anyone as it completely turned life around for us both !

good luck to all and if in doubt, trust your gut and don't accept a GPs/first opinion if you don't really agree. reflux is quite a specialist condition.

good news is both colic and reflux do pass and if I can survive as a single mother, anyone can !

xx