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Sleep

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Original poster

Babies that WILL NOT nap thread

39 replies

bumbleweed · 22/02/2006 11:41

I have been lurking on other threads so I know you are out there - MNers whose babies wont nap or will only nap for 30 mins max!

My dd is 4 months and I am desperate to get her to nap longer during the day so that she doesn't get so ratty at tea-time (only time dh sees her during the week) and take ages to settle to sleep.

I have read 'Baby Whisperer', 'No-cry sleep solution', 'The Fussy Baby Book' and cant get anything to work.

I am at the stage where I think either she is a baby who doesnt need to nap, or will never nap, or that I am a bad mother if I dont take her out for a mammoth pushchair walk at least twice a day (she will sleep in pushchair btw)!

Am really frustrated some days - anyone going through same and want to do on-line support for each other / discuss different tactics?

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queenrollo · 23/02/2006 16:00

sorry got distracted by my little man........also meant to add that some days (like today for instance) i have really struggled to get him to settle, and he's had ten minutes this morning and ten minutes this afternoon. it's a good job he's a good sleeper at night or i'd be really dead on my feet.

katyp · 23/02/2006 16:30

My dd never had a nap for me - went back to work at 6 months for a rest! She did have naps at her nursey though - don't know what techniques they used. With ds, I was determined he would have a nap as I was going to be a sahm. When he was about 2 months old I started taking him out for a walk in the morning at 10 am and would keep walking around the neighbourhood until he fell asleep - then I went home and left him outside in his pram in the garden - probably not practical this time of year though. When he had been doing this for a while I started putting him down for a nap in his cot at the same time and luckily he settled to this fairly easily.

In my case, I think the problem with dd was that I didn't realise that you have to work at getting them into a routine and obviously it does restrict your day if you have to do things at the same time every day. But to me it was worth the restriction to have 2 hours each day to get things done.... So while I don't necessarily agree with the Gina Ford philosophy I do think you have to give babies some sort of routine for the sake of your own sanity...

Original poster

bumbleweed · 23/02/2006 16:35

hi queenrollo - does he get overtired and grouchy or not?
dd has just had a 10 min nap - so shepherds pie half made and she will prob get really grumpy now till bed-time
the thing about these routines taking weeks and weeks to establish - seems to go along way against the grain of nature?

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Original poster

bumbleweed · 23/02/2006 17:05

hi katyp I think i will try your idea of using walk to establish a pattern and then hope carry on in the cot when home, thanks for posting

my dd now in grizzly overtired mode as only had 10 min nap so all other plans cancelled till bedtime

hope i dont come across totally negative - i absolutely adore dd she is so lovely, just cant cope with walking with her in my arms all the time wishing she would sleep

OP posts:

queenrollo · 24/02/2006 19:53

bumbleweed.......i am blessed in the fact that ds generally has a very sunny disposition but if don't manage to get him to nap for ten minutes in the morning, come 12.30ish he is really grumpy and foul tempered. i find the hardest time for us though (if he hasn't napped much during the day) is about 6pm.....we usually put him to bed at 7pm but if he's overtired he starts grumbling at 6 and when we change him for bed he starts to scream the house down.
i find it hard when he doesn't nap because i feel like i need just five minutes 'me time' during the day, as he needs entertaining constantly. yeah it's a pain not getting housework done but that'll still be there when dp gets in from work.

Original poster

bumbleweed · 25/02/2006 16:43

sounds v similar qr - my dd only settles in one place / activity for about 5 mins at a time - needs constant attention

must have sounded tired last night on phone to MIL and she, trying to be helpful, came out with 'do you think she's getting enough to eat?' and then 'is it a wet nappy?'

yeah, like i would leave her wet or hungry for months!!

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duvet · 27/02/2006 13:05

My dd2 too! My dd1 was like this too, there were both great long nappers til about 12 weeks then down to the 40 mins. I find it frustrating when people say to you, she doesn't like tired at all, but you know they are. With my first it improved again at 5-6 months especially as I persisted with putting her down at the right for a nap but it was so disheartening for weeks when i'd hear her cry after 40 mins. This time I thought I'd just let it happen and get on with it but somehow you can't ignore it can you, they just do need that extra sleep so I find I still stress and feel guilty when she hasn't slept much. Dd2 will sleep 2-3 hours in day about 2 or 3 x a week when I go out in car and time it just right. If she's just fallen asleep then I can whip her in and she'll stay asleep, but I have been know to leave her in the car on our drive. What a difference it makes when she does slp the extra bliss. Still wakes 2/3 x night (excl bf) though.

Polster · 27/02/2006 13:36

My 2nd dd just like this - if I got her to sleep for 10 minutes during the day it was amazing - push chair didn't work, car didn't work, nothing worked.

UNTIL, my mother took us in hand when dd was 8 months - dd was put down for afternoon nap, was VERY annoyed (she's always had a temper!), and let us all know it, but mum left her to sort it out. Took quite a while for her to go to sleep (poss over an hour), and I needed all the cups of tea and biscuits I could get down my throat. Next day, dd put down again, has temper fit again, but this time lasted less, then sleep. 3rd day, dd put down, temper lasted 5 minutes, then sleep. 4th day, dd put down, sleep. We've not had issues since then.

Wasn't fun at all, but I was desperate and in the horrible depths of post-natal depression - I'm sure partly caused by exhaustion - and it was a lifesaver. Possibly literally.

Makes you think though - even when her youngest dd was 34, my mum was still needed as a mum - the job's never done!

CaptainDippy · 27/02/2006 21:47

Can I join???? DD1 (2 yrs) stopped daytime naps about a month ago. I have nine month old DD2 in tow and I am having a nervous breakdown and before you ask NO DD1 is NOT interested in watching telly!!!!!!!!!!

Original poster

bumbleweed · 28/02/2006 10:34

thought i had killed own thread before

just spoke to a mate on phone who basically said same about eventually having to let them cry until they learn to sleep

only thing is i just dont believe in it

but worried about when she starts nursery in Oct and i wont be there to carry and cuddle whole time

did anyones dd/ds grow out of it without controlled crying?

dd only had 10 mins this morn - so getting worse, considering going back to cranial osteo - not sure if did any good tho

OP posts:

duvet · 28/02/2006 10:50

Polster

Hurrah for mothers eh they're great aren't they.
Still need mine at 31 and two dd's.

Original poster

bumbleweed · 28/02/2006 10:53

duvet, polster

i know, my mother comes round when i am in tears and says nice things

OP posts:

Original poster

bumbleweed · 28/02/2006 10:55

duvet how old is your dd2?

captain dippy - i feel your frustration - but have no idea how anyone copes with more than one dd/ds!

OP posts:

duvet · 01/03/2006 10:05

dd2 will be 3 in april.

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