School bans Valentine's cards: your thoughts please!

[HelenMumsnet]

Hello.

ITV's This Morning have asked us to comment on this story about a Somerset primary school banning pupils from sending Valentine's cards to 'protect them from emotional trauma'.

Tory MP Anne Widdecombe has already weighed in to say it's a stupid ban: 'I hope the school will rethink its decision,' she said.

But what does the Mumsnet jury think?

A sensitive, caring move by the school?

Or madness gone mad?

Do tell...

To ban it is silly. A school would be better off just downplaying it, or not making it into an issue.

I have yhet to notice card giving for valentine's in DS's school. Perhaps some of the children exchange them, but it certainly isn't the majority and certainly not a big deal.

What the children give to each other, or make for each other (aren't most valentine's cards made by the children?) is up to them, not the school?

In my school there are often groups of kids making little badges, stickers, signs etc. for their secret clubs at breaktime and lunchtime. Some kids are left out, some kids aren't asked into the 'club' or whatever, but that is part of school life and good training for future life too.

Of course, if the school banned it because it was ridiculous commercial capitalist crap then I would agree with them.

DS1 has come home with a Valentines card he made in class (he is Year 1), it is to DS2.

I was just gutted it wasn't to me (his school made Christmas card was to his brother as well).

I think at such a young age buying cards and sending them to other pupils is not right, but making them for family and being taught how nice it is to show people that you love them is a good thing.

A VERY good idea. At some point the more unattractive children will realise that nobody fancies them, the later a child discovers that, the better imo.

I wouldn't ban it to save children's feelings

I would ban it because they are a little too young to be brainwashed into thinking they have to make grand romantic gestures on this particular day.
Oh, and children this young do not need to proclaim their love in this fashion to each other
I wouldn't be happy if my childrern were forced to do this

ban it because it's tacky

I'm for the ban. Tacky, inappropriate, and another opportunity to publicly reinforce to the unpopular kids that nobody likes them.

It's a stupid reason for the ban, but I can entirely see why the school would not want valentine's cards - especially a primary school - it's just the hassle and stress and over-excited children to no good end.

DS's school always cunningly schedules spring half term over valentine's day and the autumn one over halloween - damn clever, IMO.

DD does lots of valentine-related crafts at nursery - which is absolutely fine - it is just pretty hearts to her, and any message added by staff just says "Happy Valentine's Day"

Im for the ban. Valentines day is not for children.

It a very American thing for school kids to send valentines cards. I think they pretty much send them to all of the class.

DS1's school did "ban" Christmas cards one year (in the name of being environmentally friendly) There was outrage, and much passing of cards around the playground.
I couldn't care less about Valentines cards. DS2 (Y2) wants to send one to his teacher because he thinks she's lovely, but usually they wouldn't' send one to a "stinky" boy/girl.

I remember one year in Junior school being the only person in my class not to get a VD card.
It was humiliating

To me the school have acted rightly, but my feelings are coloured by what happened to me at school - and VD just gave the bullies who made my life hell to remind me again why I was a short ugly four eyed brainbox who didn't have any friends.

I hope to hell my DS never has to suffer through this kind of humiliation when he goes to school.

I do feel a bit tired, I think, that Valentine's day has become a big issue amongst primary school kids. An issue enough that kids send them, I suppose. Earlier today I was chafing that some people are cumudgeonly about parents giving them to their kids, but if the xtension of including children is that now Valentine's day is a big event amongst children, in child-orientated settings, then i think 'do children have to be included in absolutley everything nowadays?'.

I Love to protect my DD1 at school from all the hurt in the world, obviously but all this protection and over-concern, where does it stop ??

Already any races at Sports day are banned at our school. you cant have 1st 2nd or 3rd just everyone did well, which makes it nicer BUT, it worries me, that we are just making these lessons harder to learn the longer we put them off.

Children need to get learn about real Life, child hood is the time to deal with problems with Mum behind you on your side.

I dont why but it feels dishonest and wrong to me on sports day when she asks who won?, was I 2nd? to brush over it. Children know when you are hiding something. They find stuff we hide from them fascinating for a reason, they want to learn.

We stop competitive sports days, but they compete in the playground for who's fastest. We can ban spelling tests ? Hide results? Pretend all parents have same amount of money, All kids have the same quality of life. Pretend if they haven't been invited then there is no party that weekend?? We organise pass the parcel secretly so it is utterly fair.......and so on, ban any Life experience that might cause upset, and often will to someone.

I was the least unpopular kid in my primary ! I got bullied and it still hurts so you'd think I'd support protecting those kids like me. ( I never got invited to any parties )
.....but...
My mum used to lie to me a lot and that hurt more. She would tell me what was easiest for her. she wasn't a great mum and often forgot stuff to do things for me then pretended it wasn't her fault. This caused me more upset. She didn't do it to be kind, and she was not a loving mum but the hardest thing for me was not being able to trust her to tell me the truth.

We should not encourage Valentine cards as they are IMO one of the few things left actually for adults, but if they wanted to send one they let them.

Kids all know, and are obsessed with their postion re:popularity anyway so it wont stop or help by banning VD cards.