Competitive birthday parties: tell us your worst!

[HelenMumsnet]

Hello. Justine's going to be on the BBC World Service tomorrow talking about children's birthday parties - and how some parents do seem to like to outdo each other on the all-singing, all-entertainer-ing, all-super-luxury-party-bagging front.

So, we were wondering... Have you ever felt other parents were judging your efforts on the birthday-party front?

And what's the worst example of party oneupmumship you've seen?

apostrophe - - bless you

Katz - you are just showing off!

I had to import a mad scientist from London for DS's 8th party - no way could I have done it myself!

NeedaNewName - Thanks for that excellent link!

I provide party entertainment to children up to the age of 8 or so and have had lots of experiences with parents desperate to make an impression (not sure whether on kids or their parents...)

One that springs to mind is a pass the parcel game that had been prepared with a DVD as a present in every layer, with the main prize being a Nintendo DS!!

And I've just been booked to provide a range of activities for a 4 year old's party on a mermaid theme. It's to include a visit by a mermaid, face painting, making a mermaid hand puppet, other craft activities on a mermaid theme, musical entertainment and puppetry. I understand that there will also be a mermaid bouncy castle and a specially built mermaid pool for the day too! (Oh, and a beer tent and hog roast for the adults.)

Aww... I went to an old fashioned birthday party with a difference the other day...

Children were allowed to run free in the garden's play area while parents calculated the size of the paddock before being sent to the library for tea.

Menu included some beautiful sandwiches cut in different animal shapes, strawberries covered in chocolate, plenty of fancy canapes and some jelly that had been made in orange skins which were cut into pieces for the children to eat in a dining room larger than my office's boardroom and with certainly more expensive furniture, even with the 5 labradors poping in and out of the room as they pleases

Mind you... it may not be extravagant for an aristocratic family living in a hall but for all of us, children of the proletariat, it was absolutely beautiful

Justine - you should find the thread about people who give out books in party bags. Some good comments on there. here it is

I thought I had some good ones but don't know if I can match the ice rink and gymkhana!!

Nevertheless....

The party where the adults were given lattes from a mobile coffee cart staffed by a Barista.

The party where the adults were given a glass of champagne and a personalised cupcake (don't know what the kids got - was too pissed/on a sugar high to remember).

The fairy-themed party where the invitations were delivered by a real life adult dressed as a fairy. On arrival each child was given a set of beautiful wings (the boys got a wizard hat I think), the party bags contained a lovely illustrated book personally inscribed by the presiding fairy.

The 3rd birthday party complete with fairground in the back garden of the house.

And one I recently heard about (from someone who was there): 4th birthday party; child quite into animals. Parents hired Bristol Zoo for the day including a talk by Richard Attenborough.

I shit you not.

Not a birthday party, but DD was invited to a school friend's Christmas party on Christmas Eve - parents invited too.

The children were all given a gift that FC had left, sleigh bells etc playing earlier on. Nt just some little party bag but a proper gift (prob worth about £20 oer child).

The children played a scavenger unt int he really big play room - looking for coins hidden round the room. Real money including several £1 and £2 coinds.

Full caterers in for children and for adults. Alcohol provided throughout.

Oh, and particularly enjoyed the bottle of Dom Perignon I was given b the child's father on leaving their house that night! I was so embarrassed I declined it but he insisted!

Same family had a bgig "house is finished and DD is starting school" the week before our girls started school with over 100 guests int heir garden. Big marquee, live band, disco, hhog roast, caterers for other food, bouncy castles and ball pit, and big fridges outside full of bottles of wine and beer and fizz, woth staff topping your glass up all the time. They even had portaloos in the garden so people didn;t have o go in their house.

I just think that anything where the whole class of 18 is invited to something other than a 1970s style pass the parcel party is over the top.

18 boys being drilled by an army sergeant and then having a go in a flight simulator was perhaps the most excessive. But it seems quite tame compared to Batman.

I mix in different circles, thankfully. Anyone trying to do this sort of thing would be regarded as a pretentious idiot. You are allowed to hire a hall or swimming pool, a bouncy castle in the back garden or take the children to a soft play area/ bowling/ice rink. Even the local celebrities wouldn't have done anything like this.

Please make the point that this is not something that happens everywhere.

DD went to one for a one year old which featured a photographer who took a photo of each kid with the birthday boy and then printed them and put them in the party bag to take home.

Our class celebrity didn't do anything for his ds's birthday - or maybe he did and ds wasn't invited. So it would seem that the whole class thing has thankfully come to a close.

And can I just say that I started it.

Argh, it's more accurate to say I finished it.

I'm intriged by the visit from the mermaid ShellinPeas is organising - how will she walk? Or will she just be lounging in the pool?

A boy in dd's class had a fakir act at his 5th birthday party. They did knife throwing and walking on broken glass.

blimey, the OTT party I thought I had described makes me realise that it was actually fairly low key, compared to some of these. But you know what, I have such happy memories of my own parties with a few kids sat round the table, sandwiches,cocktail sausages, jelly & ice-cream, pin the tail on the donkey,pass the parcel, birthday cake, end of. (arghhh starting to sound like my own mother )

ds went to the hard rock cafe in leeds for a girls 10 th birthday

we live 40 minutes away and they went in a pink stretch limo with 'princess' plate and fake champagne

too much too young

bucking bronkos
ice skating in forrest
whole class go - carting
silly pampering things for 20,000 girls

lord knows what they will do for 16th or 18th

My 6-year-old was invited to a Music Party but there was no musical entertainer there to lead the small party-goers in merry song and dance. Instead the children themselves were the performers and all expected to stand up and delight the audience of parents with a 2 minute slot.

The children who had not brought an instrument were invited to choose from a selection of Morris bells, tambourines and old coconut shells )popular.) My DD cried and flatly refused to clap her coconuts together. The birthday child then performed a short Handel sonatina on her violin, followed by a sweet little Mozart minuet, to nods, beams and smiles from her fond Mama.

I went home feeling very crotchety.

Goodness me - I would never do this. I won't even let ds play when his friends come around in case other mums think it's showing off.

I have been to several parties where the going home presents were clearly more expensive than the gift brought by the guests, although nothing like the Dior bears! However, in Spain the "done thing" is for the birthday child to bring in a gift for all their classmates. We were looking around a school for ds and all the children were coming out clutching expensive looking gift wrap. The head explained that the birthday child had brought each child in their class a china piggy bank, pink or blue, with their name handwritten and fired onto it. We decided that we fancied paying for excursions but the birthday presents would probably bankrupt us! What on earth do they give at party time??

PaulaYates - you see a lot of the limo thing round here for 10th - 12th birthdays. Also pampering parties and ones where the girls are "styled" and put on a fashion show for the parents at the end.

Really hope all that will have gone out of fashion in a few years time.

Tatt - I don't think anyone is saying that the parents doing the really over the top stuff aren't pretentious idiots.

Most of the parties my dd goes to are pretty standard. Some with/some without an entertainer. All with traditional party food and games. I don't feel judged because I don't have a fairground in my back garden. But I do find it bloody funny.

Life sized Minnie Mouse handing out canapes to the parents, party itself started at 9pm. For a one year old.

Another ego trip was where we were all trying to escape (party had already gone on in softplay for hours) but mother wouldn't let us leave until we'd sat and watched film clips and photos of child from birth to present day on hoooooooge screen. yawn

So sticking them in the garden with a tampoline whilst the adults congregate in the kitchen and drink wine just isn't on

I am aghast at this thread - music one made me shudder and a Nintendo as a pass the parcel prize

'Although I'm enjoying this thread, I feel a little sorry for the parents organising these parties that are being ridiculed. Surely it is up to the parents to provide the party of their choosing for their child?'

I love the thread (keep them coming!) and I don't feel at all sorry for the parents who are being ridiculed-they jolly well deserve it!! The really sad thing is that a small child would much rather have a few friends around with a fun time in the garden. It also makes it very difficult to do anything exciting at 18yrs if they have already had it all and done it all.
Unfortunately I haven't got any stories-luckily when mine were young nobody invited whole classes of DCs-I think that is fairly recent.
The one that sticks in my mind was someone on mumsnet who went to a 2yr old party and the DCs got water, rice cakes and dried apricots and the parents nothing. On reflection the OTT ones are better than such dreary, prison rations!

On a completely non - OTT theme.DH and i hire a hall, invite the kids, provide the food (and wine for adults) and then DH dresses up (last year as a pirate!!)and does the whole thing himself.much cheaper, although hes thinking of dressing up as sportacus this year.................not sure how I feela bout that one.
you dont have to spend loads, when you get a load of kids together all they want to do is run around and scream IMO

I thought the one where every child was sent home with a live goldfish was the most evil. No tank... just the freakin' goldfish!

Cheap one-upmanship! Thank God it wasn't a pony...