Getting children to go to bed - we need your tactics

[GeraldineMumsnet]

BBC Radio Shropshire wants to know your top tips for getting kids to go to bed. We're on mid-morning, so need any tips before then please. Thanks v much

i say the toys are lonely and want you to cuddle them to sleep. haha it worked for a while.

Dh and I give dd(4) and ds(5) piggy backs down the hall and we always have a race to see who gets to the bathroom first. It means that there is never any dragging feet about going upstairs to bed. Don't quite know what we'll do when they get too heavy!

I say "Ok, time for bed now" and they go to bed. I must be very scary indeed!

Books books books. And a lovely bedroom that she feels safe in - a canopy tent thing over her bed, a little light, glow stars, lots of teddies etc.

A wind-down time which is the same every night (eg when she was smaller milk, same tv programmes etc) - we used to all sing along to the "goodnight song" on cbeebies, then she knows it's bed time.

Dd1 is three and a half.

It was a long time ago! But we had a routine that we followed every day, so the DC always knew what was coming, and what was coming next.

Started with bathtime, then downstairs to have milk and a story, then time for bed. Tuck them in and give them their teddy, and leave with a kiss. Non-negotiable and we never (thankfully) had any problems with either of them.

Unless I was just scary, like seeker ... !

if they get out of bed once put there then no eye contact, say back to bed firmly and carry them back
repeat repeat and repeat
once they relaise they never get to go downstairs or do anything fun like have another story, another glass of milk etc they soon get the message

We get DS1(2yo) ready for bed, give him his milk and take him up to bed.

We tuck him in and read him a story. Usually the Diesel book from the Thomas series. We then put the night light that is on the baby monitor on and come downstairs.

He is normally asleep within 5 minutes.

Oh yes and if they have been good, they get an extra story upstairs in our room. The longer they mess about getting teeth brushed, the shorter the story.

A good book to look forward to.
Teddies and puppets as a bribe on difficult nights.
Routine! Avoid putting them to bed too late or being tempted to miss out the bath because you're knackered.

Pyjamas and nappy on, upstairs, 1 book out of bed, 1 book in bed, light out, 'story out of mummys head', hug, leave. I'll go back if he cries for me, but he never gets to come back downstairs or put the light on.

DS is 2.10 and sleeps anywhere with no problem

Routine Routine

Supper/Tea
Bath
Simpsons
Read for 30
Bed
"Right Now"
"No I said NOW"

If this fails bribery can work.

very good strict routine really helps no matter where you are if you have a routine you can get them to bed!

Ours is.....
5.30pm Bath
6pm snack of milk and fruit or biscuits
6.30pm story time or alone reading
7pm lights out

works a treat for our 8 year old and our 3 year old starts her routine at 5pm and is lights out by 6.30pm

this works well too if we are staying at friends as we do everything is same order so DS and DD know whats coming next etc and its not a surprise!

I never did have one preschool age. I picked them up where they fell (floor, settee, dog basket) and put them in bed .

Once at school it was 8pm which was fine although older one (8) reads for a bit.

We have a vague routine that is supposed to go bath/milk/teeth/story/bed. But ds has discovered BBC3 are repeating Dr Who and I'm so slack I let him watch it after his bath which means he's a bit later than ideally I'd like.

Things we do to encourage him along the way - racing upstairs, who can get there first. Dr Who goes off if he doesn't brush his teeth properly. Threats that there will be no story if he messes around (never actually done this, though, is an empty threat and I suspect he knows...).

Ds's top ploy once he's in bed and the lights are off is to announce he needs the loo. I can hardly say 'no'!

Agree with everyone else! Non negotiable routine, that includes quiet wind down time upstairs (low lights & books for us)

Don't underestimate genuine fear - nightlights can really help keep things calm.

Ours also settle each other as they share a room - ds (5) tells dd (3) stories interminable stories that would send anyone to sleep!

A bedtime CD can also be a good distraction & make sure they lie still enough to go to sleep (Tom Petty in our house )

Just me with no routine then?

I just say,and have always done...go to bed !!

Routine. It doesn't matter how ridiculous the routine (I have to recite a whole "Who loves you very much?" list, which includes the chicken and the cats). And make bed always seem like a nice place to be, and the routine enjoyable.

What time? I live in Shropshire.

I put a packet of chocolate buttons inside ds's pillow case. It usually does the trick!

Books again. Always read once they're in bed, and chat about the book. DD could hardly wait. (Most of the time.)

It all depends on their ages though doesn't it?
Though no matter how old, having a routine helps. Mine know bedtime (7.30), so I usually go: 5 more minutes kids.
Then: bedtime dcs.
Then they switch of telly and go straight into the bathroom for cleaning hands and faces, brushing teeth and toilet (we only do a full bath 2x a week),
then PJ's,
then story,
then song followed by a kiss and a cuddle and lights out and door closed in case of dd and lights on door open in case of ds.

I've never had any trouble with them resisting, probably because I started the routine thing from baby onwards. I don't know. Or maybe like seeker I'm just very scary, because for DH it's always a struggel to get dd to listen .

Routine and signals. And a countdown so it's no surprise. So:

10 mins till milk!
5, 2, 1 etc...milk time!
(glass of milk and biscuits with 2 cartoons or end of Cbeebies)
Then upstairs: wash, pjs, stories, hugs, lights off.
Always the same, no matter where we are. When the countdown to the milk starts he starts winding down.

A brief foray into the monster fears was handled expertly by dh:
(pattering of feet upstairs)
ds: Daddy! 'Jama time! Going to my room....aarghhh! Monsters! waaaah
dh: Where?
ds: In my room! Scared, Daddy ... (whimpers)
dh: But we can't have any monsters. We haven't chosen them yet.
ds: Waaaaahhhhhh.....eh?
dh: We went to the shop and they said come back on Saturday, choose the colour of monster that you want and then we'll send it. We haven't done that yet so there can't be any monsters here.
ds: huh? Monst......eh? Whaaaa?
dh: When we're ready, we'll go and choose. Until then we'll have to make do with stories. OK?
ds: OK Daddy! Dinosaur Rampage story tonight? Pleeease?

I seem to remember that top tip from a previous thread of yours, kitbit, thought it was brilliant!