my life on mumsnet

[stitch]

i am becoming increasingly concerned about just how much of my life is laid bare here on mumsnet. am i alone in thinking this?
mumsnet keeps threads for thirty thousand years, which is a bit needless surely? in real terms, it means that random comments i made four years ago, are still there, not quite carved in stone, but nevertheless there in writing for anyone to access. old threads can be dredged up, and given a very new, possibly negative spin.....in a society that is changing so fast, that can be a recipe for disaster.
perhaps mn hq could think about changing their policy of keeping chat threads forever.

The only answer is, don;t post on internet message boards. They are most definitely not made for privacy.

I don't mind if ds and dd read these in years to come.

I put a memorial on a site for my lost babies once, it helped me grieve and my Dp's other daughter somehow found it and caused all kinds of problems for me with it.
I agree with what you are saying stitch, but only because I've been caused the trouble before now. I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought otherwise.

I have made a vow to myself. The minute my oldest reach an age where he is able to use a computer, and google, without help, I will log off mumsnet for good. I just dont want them to get the idea that they can search for what mum has been saying, it terrifies me, especially if they find threads in Parenting, where I am asking for advice regards to the kids. I think seing old threads relating to behavioural issues, and my own inability to cope sometimes, can be devastating. In a sense, it is like opening a diary to the past, and nobody wants their children to read their diaries?

I think threads should expire like chat threads do.

It will be cost efficient to mumsnet too, as the database would be smaller.

Quint, I agree, I really don't like the tought of DS being able to look up all my innermost secrets. MN is rather like a personal diary for many, we post our random thoughts and feelings all too easily.

stitch I have been thinking along the same lines as you for quite some time now, but am still unable to post. Thankfully I mainly hang around in chat for this very reason.

How about you don't let your children know your posting name?

Gosh, signing off mumsnet just because your children can read seems a bit extreme. You won't stop needed advice just because they can read (IME)! Ds can read and knows my posting name and I suspect WILL search one of these days and find all sorts of stuff about him but none of it is horrible.

I've posted about problems with ds and tbh if he reads them he'll see that I love him and have just wanted to be a better parent and find strategies that worked when we had problems.

But Soupy what if you just have a very clever determined DS who cleverly works it out for himself?

why do you think your children would read it?

i never post anything that i would not want my DH or my mum to read, for example.. nothing thst would embarass me or my family..

answer is to name change for really personal stuff or not tell your children your posting name

always good to bear in mind that the t'interweb is not a cosy little private place, it is vast and nothing is really confidential

If no-one knows your posting name then there's no problem is there? Just be careful...

It's not like that boy who's got to marry sarah palin's daughter who had a load of stuff up on his facebook/myspace, some of which was a bit embarassing.

The only way someone can link your chat name to you is if you put a lot of detail/photos on your profile, if you tell them, if they hack your computer or mumsnet servers.

The first two you have control over, the second two are pretty damn unlikely. What makes you think your posts are interesting to anyone other than other MNers? I can't imagine that any outside agencies are particularly interested in my views on BLW...

Not so sure about the deleting stuff to be honest.

I also try to reveal little about myself. But there was once I was in a really tough place economically, we are running our own business. (Initially it was purely home economics with cutting gas bills and money saving advice) I did not think I had said too much, until somebodys HUSBAND came own with his brand spanking new id (he said as much) and gave very good and specific advice, I had the inkling he had sussed my business name. For that reason I asked mnhq to delete thread, but they refused because others had taken time to give good advice!

For me, it was a security issue, if somebody knew both my business name (they would easily get directors address and phone number) AND that the business was in trouble, it could be disastrous for me from a business perspective.

Which brings us back to sensible posting, but when do you know if you in hindsight has posted sensibly or not? And if you have to be so guarded that you cant reveal anything, how can you go about getting any support and advice when you need it?
The moment you start posting, and people start asking questions, it can easily take other directions than you anticipate.

exactly....

when i first discovered mn, i needed, and was given lots and lots of good advice, support, and friendship. i was not in a place where i was able to think through whether or not what i was writing was appropriate or not. however, i understand what i signed up for, and appreciate that i must live with the consequences of that. so far, there havent been any, but, i did read the small print, so i wont be crying wolf over that.

i am not too bothered about my dc reading what i have written, as they will either find it to deadly dull, or perhaps, they and i wil learn from it.
neither am i bothered about mn friends knowing more than rl friends. you lot know far more about me, and thats ok. but the internet is not some cosy little community, but unfortunately mn makes us feel that it is. solo's experience for example. i would like mn hq to rethink there policy of keeping threads as long as they currently seem to intend, and would like otherpeoples thought son this.

mn isnt like the example given of a letter in a newspaper. it is very different.