Laugh reaction

[Itsjustsodepressing]

I know when MN introduced the reaction button which included the Laugh emoji a lot of posters weren't happy about it. And there have been various comments by posters about its misuse.

It is just being used so commonly now to mock and deride serious comments that are in no way funny. That can no way be interpreted as light hearted.

It would appear to be being used to try and drive posters off threads. And the impression I get is that it's actually often certain posters ganging up together to try and silence people who don't agree with them.

I think MN having guidelines for posters to stick to civilised responses to other posters is being undermined because they have given those who are minded to be unpleasant to other posters the perfect tool to be nasty to them without having to verbalise anything and risk getting their post removed.

I'm failing to see any benefit in providing the laugh emoji reaction when it's principal use now is to upset and drive away genuine posters.

I don't think it was a good idea in the first place and I would like to see MN remove this reaction option.

I like this post

I think we'll just have to disagree.

People are free to conduct themselves in their interactions with others however they wish - and they may just be having a bad day, or that might just be how they always are and it makes them very happy; but I personally think that the online equivalent of wordlessly sneering in somebody's face, like a school bully, is neither a kind nor mature thing to do.

It's very easy to say don't let it affect your day - but when you're really upset about something and you're looking for help and support at a very vulnerable point in your life then the last thing you need is someone reacting to your post with a laughter emoji that no-one else but you can see. It was suggested on a previous thread that the obvious thing to do would be to remove the function from certain threads, but MN didn't want to do that.

Yes, this completely. You never know how vulnerable somebody may be.

It's a bit like when an OP writes something like "I've just found out that my husband has been having an affair for 5 years. We have three children under 8 and I'm pregnant. I confronted him and he told me to pack my bags and leave. The house is in his name only and I've nowhere for us to go. I'm absolutely in peaces" - then some 100% weapons-grade nob comes straight on to point out the word error, as though that's the most/only important thing.

Except it's even worse, because at least if they post a nasty, boorish response on the thread, at least others can see it too and tear into them reciprocably to defend OP and help her to see that she very much isn't the unreasonable one.

OP - how do you know that people are ganging up and posting laugh emoji reactions all over Mumsnet inappropriately? I genuinely don't understand as I thought they weren't visible to anyone but the individual poster?

If you have noticed certain posters doing this systematically and repeatedly to you in a bullying way, then you can report them to HQ. I don't understand this thread at all.

I hardly ever get any reactions, I feel I must be exceptionally dull .

It would appear to be being used to try and drive posters off threads. And the impression I get is that it's actually often certain posters ganging up together to try and silence people who don't agree with them.

How have you jumped to this conclusion, when no-one can see the responses except the person who made the post that is being responded to ?

Well I know that some posters are "friends" with each other and communicate - by the private message facility on MN. And possibly by other means.
This was news to me until a wee while ago someone came onto a thread and started getting stuck into a poster because of some reply/ comments she perceived as an attack on some one else on the thread. And she actually said that the poster she had leapt to the defence of had been supportive of her some time back when she was going through a bad time and since then they had been friends and kept in touch with each other.

And this to me explained why, if you happen to disagree on a thread with one poster you sometimes get others coming on to gang on up on you with an aggressiveness that is totally out of proportion. I've noticed this particularly on the Chat forum

"someone came onto a thread and started getting stuck into a poster because of some reply/ comments she perceived as an attack on some one else on the thread. And she actually said that the poster she had leapt to the defence of had been supportive of her some time back when she was going through a bad time and since then they had been friends and kept in touch with each other."

Is this the crux of your argument OP? You were on a thread once and poster X revealed they were friends with poster Y off board.

?

How does this translate to the laugh reaction button being used inappropriately across the boards?

.
I posted this in explanation of something I'd said which @CarpetKnees
was querying.

The point of my thread is the misuse of the laugh emoji to mock and deride other posters. As I'm sure you are aware.

I think a shocked face or a no / shaking head face would be useful. Then people can show disagreement without mocking.

There has been a thread disliking the laugh emoji a little while back and so you're definitely not the only one OP.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/5234727-get-rid-of-the-laugh-reaction

This is making you sound paranoid now.

Are you seriously suggesting there are gangs of friends on MN, who message each other to tell them to laugh at a post, even though no-one can see the response except the person that posted it ?

Because people have said that they have on prior threads since the emoji was introduced?

And other posters have said that they had been subjected to bullying using them

And now and again i see someone ask another poster why they have emojied all the persons post but not @ or quoted them in public so others can see what is going on

You can run a general word search to try find examples

To be fair, you said a bit more than it’s “neither a kind nor mature thing to do” when you referred to it as being

The nasty people's worst punishment comes with living with the person they've chosen to be.
How could you ever be truly happy when your emotions are consumed with hatred and bitterness?
At least the rest of us can experience an unpleasant moment and then move on; for those who are this way, they can't or won't ever escape it.

Is it something you get a lot to your posts @Itsjustsodepressing

I have to say… I have never done it and nor has anyone ever done it to any of my posts

You were implying that there couldn't be any collusion between posters because nobody is aware of what other posters are doing.
All I was doing was pointing out that this is not necessarily the case because some users ARE in communication with each other and some " back up " what others are saying because of their connection with each other.

I'm not being paranoid. I was giving an example .

I wish I hadn't actually because it detracts from.the point that people are using the laugh emoji to mock and deride and be unpleasant.

I've posted on this thread seeing as I started it. But I've not posted on any other threads since starting this. And tbh I really am so fed up about this, and disillusioned, it will be a long time before I consider posting again at all on any thread.
I'm sure me not contributing will be of no consequence to the vast majority of MN users but I think it makes the site a less valuable space because it is narrowing the range of view points expressed - it is having a range of different opinions that help makes the site a much more valid source of information and advice.

I think it's very sad that in effect the unpleasant people who use the bully tactic of mockery are changing the dynamic of the site by driving away posters who otherwise might have a valuable contribution to make.

Op do you regularly get laughing emojis to your posts?

Up until recently it happened but only very rarely.

It has however recently become much more common and was especially bad this past weekend.

On one thread I was expressing a view point different from the majority of people on the thread. Because I was saying something different I got the mocking emoji from a few different posters. To me it is too much replicating the tendency in real life to mock people who are perceived as different to accept this as an inconsequential thing.

Laughing at someone is very very different to laughing along with someone.

If you are not sure which you are doing its best to either keep your emotion to yourself or post in public directly on to the thread quoting the post

I can honestly say I have never received to any of my post

op you say “very rarely” until recently but the laughing emoji on mumsnet is a very recent addition.

and if you’re referring to the ability of a poster to add a laughing emoji in the body of a post… well that wouldn’t be possible for mumsnet to stop anyway

It’s the behind the scenes emojis that are the problem

Yes and a very very recent addition

the op says she only got them “very rarely” until recently

OK, point taken: some people might just be salty about one particular subject or be having one of those days; but in general, with the kind of people who do this kind of thing as their everyday go-to manner, I certainly wouldn't want to live with that negativity permanently in my psyche.

I know it could potentially be open to abuse by trolls who just do it to every single post as a matter of course, but I can see some benefits to introducing a thumbs down/disagree emoji as well as the laughing one.

That way, there would be a clear mature way for people acting in good faith to briefly express their very differing view on a matter or opinion.

With that in place, it would then be blatantly obvious for all to see that a laughing response to a post that clearly isn't lighthearted, a joke or witty observation has been given with a desire to upset - and repeat offenders could be given a warning or, maybe more appropriately, have their own facility to react with emojis turned off.