help - have to go on radio at 3.30 to talk about what mumsnetters think about smacking

[CarrieMumsnet]

Very loose brief we've been given is the discussion is based on this article and they want to know
a) how Mumsnetters are "coping" during half term. Think we're probably right in saying most Mumsnetters won't be resorting to smacking as a half term special
and b)the general Mumsnet consensus (consensus - Mumsnet, they don't know us at all ). On smacking. Again think we're right that majority feel that smacking is a bad thing.

One thing we're not as sure about is how folks feel about the legislation. I'm sure there are a ton of threads on this, and apologies for starting another one, but time is tight !

Thanks for your thoughts

here's Hunker's thread, it's a bit of an epic though!

IMHO and IME Smacking is wrong

One way to look at it is that if Nannies and Childminders can disappline children without smacking then why can't parents????????

I think criminalising smacking would send the kind of message to parents that they need to learn to control themselves and find better and more humane ways of looking after their children.
the whole issue about "leaving a mark" makes me feel quite nauseous tbh.
children can't defend themselves and are frequently powerless in the home situation., to hit someone who is entirely powerless is a abuse of power and it is appropriate that the law should protect those who can't protect themselves.
imho.

Why Smacking is a hit again in the Telegraph

F&Z: not standing on flowers, but deliberately stomping on them after being asked not to repeatedly, and then told off harshly, and then restrained -- he just kept going for them, in typical 3yo testing mum's resolve mode. Then I warned I would smack him if he stomped on them again, so he went for them again, of course. I really needed to have both hands free to pack something up so I couldn't go on restraining him forever.

My only guilt is that he probably didn't understand what the threat of a smack meant, that's how rarely I have tried it.

It's bad enough he destroys my flowers, I can't have him stomping thru other people's, too.

I didn't say it was a fine parenting moment, but sometimes it is reasonable to expect them to mind, is it not??. He had no need to jump up and down on the daffodils except that he fancied pushing my buttons. So, I should be criminalised for this action, do you reckon?

He destroyed them last year, too, dragging a wagon thru for the fun of it.

Don't agree with smacking, but have smacked my son on a few occasions. Bet there are loads like me. Good luck!

I have smacked in the past but won't again. The only time it has ever worked is when they were small and ran out in the road. All 3 of them did it and got a smack and none did it again.

Which radio station?

Harpsi said: "I think criminalising smacking would send the kind of message to parents that they need to learn to control themselves and find better and more humane ways of looking after their children."

I agree totally - although the legislation might not make much of a practical difference, and there are all the obvious big brother references about enforcing it etc, I still think that having such legislation says important things about culture and sends a message to parents.

I have smacked in temper but I hope I never will again.

You're nearly on! Good luck x

started reading Hunker's thread but am probably going to run out of time:

Would it be fair to say Mumsnet-ish view - as much as there is one is:

Majority view is that smacking is wrong - policing it is obviously tricky, but worth having legislation to send message that it's wrong.

If child is injured/marked (Which is presumably when police would find out) then investigations obviously needed.

On other hand there are some great parents on Mumsnet who have occasionally lost it and given a small smack and (usually) instantly regretted it - situations usually arise when child is in danger, or parent losing control - in these instances most would get sympathy on Mumsnet and not expect to be criminalised.

Persistent use/ and abuse obviously different.

What parents really need is support and practical guidance on how to cope with stressful situations /behaviour that can lead to smacking and that's where sites like Mumsnet can come in where parents can talk to other parents who know that parenting can be really hard and can come up with alternative things to try/ coping mechanisms etc like....

getting out and about
trying Positive praise/ naughty step/
Removing yourself from situation
distraction

that sort of thing?

Yup that covers it

you can listen online via BBC website

Make the point about CHILDMINDERS and NANNIES not being allowed to smack

Soory - which station is it!?

It's the last vestige of the inadequate parent.

That about covers it, Carrie. HTH

This radio station?

Southern counties

ie Sussex and surrey

so put that into google and it will come up

They're talking about it now.

Carrie, stop with the Kylie

on nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

you are deffo brill Carrie

She is indeed

Well done, Carrie!

Thank you to all for all your thoughts - all over now, but think we'll suggest they have some of you on next time - sure you would have done it 10 times better than me!
Thanks again for speedy response