My mum died at 50 when I was twenty six, so quite old for me but not for her - I hadn't got married or had kids and there are questions almost daily that I wish I'd asked her. Often just the silly little things are the ones you'd quite like to know. Agree with all things Heifer says. Here are some other questions in no particular order of profundity/ mundanity
Who are all those people on the old photos? (after she died the only other person left was my grandpa, her dad and he was blind so kind of tricky to describe all the black and white pics to him!)
What was I really like as a baby (my dad can't remember anything). How did you feel about your mum when you had children, did it change? How did you feel when we were born, was it a big shock, did you ever feel trapped (she had us very young). Did you have morning sickness. How did you cope with two young children when dad was at work all day and night (and you took in lodgers and had a dog, cat, rabbits and a guinea pig)
How did you feel on your wedding day? and what did everyone wear? What made you know that dad was the one?
What was your relationship like with your in laws and how on earth did you manage to be so lovely to them? What did you want for us when we were little? What did your parents want for you? What was it like starting work at 14?
What was it like when your dad went off to war for years on end? And what was school like when you were my children's age?
Before one of her last operations, my mum left a note "in case she didn't wake up." She did wake up from that one, but sadly a few months later she was gone. My sister and I could barely bring ourselves to open the note, but after the funeral, we sat down and in ceremonial fashion opened the envelope. The note told us how to cook the food in the freezer and where the spare bedding was if we needed it etc a load of practical stuff. She'd intended us to read the note if she hadn't come round from the anaesthetic on that particular day in hospital - there were no great last words at all.
We were upset for a while, and would certainly have treasured a book like this (NB to anyone doing it - you maybe need to do one for each child to avoid sibling squabbles later!) but actually we also treasure that scrappy note, because it was just typical of her to be thinking of others before going into surgery herself and encapsulated the simple, selfless, caring person that she was.
Whoah, Sorry, waaay too much sentiment for a Tues morning Just think this is such a great idea for a book. Might get one for myself!