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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

MNHQ

Keeping your children safe on the internet survey and your top tips

73 replies

CarrieMumsnet · 12/02/2008 19:40

To coincide with Safer internet day we've launched a survey to find out how parents tackle the tricky issue of their children's internet use, with the aim of producing a Mumsnet how-to guide on how we can all ensure safe surfing.

Please (pretty please) take the survey here and give yourself the chance of winning a fab Siblu holiday

and then (pretty pretty please) post your top tips on how you keep your children safe when they use the internet on this thread

Big thanks

MNHQ

OP posts:
ghosty · 19/02/2008 09:50

I would love to take part but I am not welcome
When can some comps be open to us forriners?? Please?

MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 19/02/2008 10:06

HI ghosty
I know. I know - I've just said this to Kerry here it's not always our stipulations but as I said, I'm looking into it.

peanutbear · 19/02/2008 10:18

MY eldest has his own lap top so it can be secured
it blocks swear word chat rooms and explicit pictures

I also have a snoop on it which means I can access all the web sites he has been on

I have a mac for the main family computer and these have great parental controld built in which limit the amount of time you can use the Mac for every day

Wotzonked · 19/02/2008 10:39

My dd got her Computer badge at Brownies recently and had to learn these facts about the brownie web safe code

I've cut and paste, but the credit goes to the Brownies! Can I still enter by adding them though? Please????

? To agree rules with my parents or guardians about the best way for me to use the computer and the World Wide Web.

? Not to give out my home address or phone number without permission.

? Not to give out the name or address of my school without permission.

? Not to agree to meet anyone who I contact on the web, unless my parents or guardians say it is all right and go with me.

? Not to put my photograph on a website.

? To tell my parents, guardians, teacher or Leader if I find something on the web that worries or upsets me.

marina · 19/02/2008 10:44

Cubs do something similar wotz

MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 19/02/2008 11:03

Wotz that's great - have you done the survey? (that's the entry really!)
Thanks
MN Towers

Wotzonked · 19/02/2008 11:24

yes

SKYTVADDICT · 19/02/2008 12:01

I have DDs (11) Bebo password and keep checking activity every couple of days (she doesn't know that though) and if I see a new "friend" I make her tell me in detail who they are. She isn't allowed to add friends of friends - only people she knows herself. We let her watch the Panorama programme about a month ago and she was a bit shocked but got the message. Some of her friends on Bebo have school details, names and ages etc. I wonder why their parents don't keep a check too!

wannaBe · 19/02/2008 13:20

Mine isn't old enough yet to be surfing parts of the net I don't approve of (unless cbeebies/playhouse disney has a social networking part I have not yet discovered ), but I think the most crucial thing is to ensure that children are aware.

There are numerous things we can implement at home, netnanny or equivalent/limiting time on pc/ensuring pc is in a visible part of the house etc, but children are able to access the internet from other places, library/school/other friends' houses/internet cafe's, and if they don't have the right level of awareness to ensure their own safety, then there's every chance they may fall into difficulty when surfing somewhere where the controls are not so strict.

Wotzonked · 19/02/2008 13:40

HI MN Towers
Maybe you could do an item on this topic. Here's some good information.

Liz Carnell founded the charity, Bullying Online with her son John in 1999. The charity, which operates online at www.bullying.co.uk, is now the UK?s leading anti-bullying charity and top destination for parents, children and schools. Here you will find some advice on internet safety and cyber bullying.

Wotz

MrsWeasley · 19/02/2008 14:01

My tips FWIW is to have the computer in a communal place where all can see it. Its no good having it in a quiet room as they can flick on to any website they fancy.

Also talk to your kids and ask them what they are doing. I phrase it as if I dont have a clue about the tinternet and they are happy to "explain" all about whatever site they are on.

Also dont be afraid to tell them you arent happy with a certain site but beware once they are at senior school they will access Bebo at school or in the library

Also judge what is acceptable for each child my 12 yo DD cant be trusted not to access certain sites or tv programmes for that matter where as my 11yo DS is sensible and if he sees anything he finds unacceptable he wont use the site. He is also sensible enough not to repeat anything in front of younger siblings whereas my DD would delight in telling/showing her 8 and 7 yo siblings.

I like the idea of limiting their time on the computer, I will definately be looking into that!

choosyfloosy · 19/02/2008 15:03

I've done the survey. Bit of a cheat as ds is only 4 and my method of ensuring internet safety is to keep him off the computer completely! Since we've only got one child this is easier for us than for most.

We've talked about it with him and have said that when he starts Reception later this year he can have access to a CDRom which his grandparents bought for him (without asking us). At that point or for his 5th birthday we might decide to give him whitelist access to 2 or 3 sites at most for a while.

All very easy while ds is so young. I've found this thread really useful and thought-provoking.

Gissaholiday then!

Milliways · 19/02/2008 15:41

My DS (12) has tought me various ways of checking a site for safety before he clicks on it!

He can also retrieve all of our "lost" passwords & control any of our PC's from his laptop! He is into simple programming & is always on Techy Forums. At Primary school he used to install their new software etc for the teachers...

Basically - if he wanted to he could get round any safeguards we installed - but he is very sensible and loves telling us what he has found.

He ALWAYS asks before signing up for anything, and has even created his own "login" hotmail account to avoid antyhing unwanted in his personal box. He used to ask before opening any new site but we are beyond that now!

I used to be forever checking that no details were being given out, I now trust him.

They are scarily able on the PC's these days (Christmas lists as Powerpoint presentations etc )..

Surr3ymummy · 19/02/2008 16:03

We used monitoring software a few years ago, but uninstalled it as it was useless. Instead I've focused on educating my daughters (aged 12 and 10) about appropriate behaviour and rules for use.

We do have the computer in the family room, and I also do spot checks on pages accessed, MSN chat history, Bebo and email. I've also set the firewall up to block giving out personal information such as name, email address and phone number - although you can override it.

I am keen to have another go with monitoring software so will look at PCTattleTale as mentioned earlier. I'm not aware of my daughters having come across any undesirable information or indeed people on the internet - but I'm also aware that you can not really know for sure - so trying to be as vigilant as I can, but also still trying to respect their privacy - which is a very fine line!

SoupDragon · 19/02/2008 16:04

To Tip: If your child has homework about British Garden Birds, put safe search on before they type "blue tits" into Google.

discoverlife · 19/02/2008 17:30

DH is a microsoft certified technician, DS1 is a software programmer in his spare time. DS2 (10 yo)just soaks it in through his skin, I have no way of policing him except by putting rules in place and asking him to keep to them. Which thankfully he has done (so far). He runs his anti virus, his spy bot, and his de-frag programs more regularly than I do.

Cam · 19/02/2008 20:07

My top tip is to allow your children a certain amount of internet freedom eg. to use age-appropriate sites.Keep talking to your children, show an interest in what theya re doing online. Most children are seriously not interested in going out of their comfort zone.

By the time they want to experiment they'll have worked out enough ways to do it without you finding out.

puffling · 19/02/2008 20:10

Be frank (in age appropriate language) with you child, about what may be contained on certain internet sites.

littlegreyrabbit · 19/02/2008 21:19

Ensure Google is set to 'safe search' and then don't tell your IT literate 11 year old that this is the case. (Otherwise you are just setting him an interesting challenge.)

shabster · 20/02/2008 07:52

We only got a computer and internet in January mainly cause we couldnt afford it before!

DS (10 yrs) knows a million times more than I do! We bought the computer from DS1 (26 yrs) - and he was supposed to have wiped it of everything that wasn't suitable for a 10 yr old!!!!!!

DS4 goes on and is choking laughing - 'Mum our Dan is not the good kid you think he is'

This computer (the devils work) will be in our living room until DS4 is about 45!!!!!

shabster · 20/02/2008 10:09

Soupdragon - lmao at the blue tits reference DH wanted to google it straight away - boys never grow up

discoverlife · 20/02/2008 10:24

Yep my DS1 (22yo) and DH both Googled it. It was 'interesting. The main listing only had one non-feathered 'blue tit', but the side listings were full of them.

As an aside, to control the porn our DS1 was going to be trying to see from age 14 upwards, DH actually downloaded it himself checked it over and passed it on. As he put it, normal porn was a normal teenage 'thing', the forbidden fruit syndrome. By supplying 'vetted' porn we were ensuring he didn't feel the need to go onto hardcore porn sites. (we also got a label as cool parents). It also ensured that he didn't accidently download any viruses , worms or bugs etc.

When we owned our own computer shop we had one poor woman who had to bring her computer in monthly because her Ds had downloaded alsorts of crap viruses with the porn, and it was costing her around £200 per time to clean her system down and re-instal everything. As we said though, he was just looking at women, it could have been sheep.
She eventually took me to one side and asked 'what the hell can I do?' we told her to do what we did, we never saw her or her computer again.

discoverlife · 20/02/2008 10:25

So we had to assume that she took our advice, or maybe she ran a mile because she thought we were perverts?

bookwormmum · 20/02/2008 22:36

My dd has her own screen name which is set for u-13 sites (since we are on AOL ) and anything else she wants to look it has to be approved by moi.

All our screen names are password protected so she can't even get onto the windows bit without that, let alone onto the net.

Keep the pc in a family room and don't be afraid to ask what they're doing. My dd frequently wants me to help her with games etc anyway.

Psychomum5 · 21/02/2008 10:17

if your child/children are allowed on your PC (I ave my own laptop which is shareable only when I am not on MN), ensure that you have definately shut down any and all programmes you have been on.

my kiddies discovered what I had been buying on ebay for their xmas pressies.

oh, and make sure that the 5yo is taught not to press any buttons when you are occupied yelling at one of the other kiddies in the house......

ours did, pressed number lock, and then somehow managed to shut down the laptop (all while I was sat with him I might add......oooh the shame). when we went to log back on later, of course the PC would not recognise the passwords as they were now all in number, and as passwords are only shown as stars, it took us some time to work out what had gone wrong.......(at myself as well as him!!!!)

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