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MNHQ

Help - we need your "getting your child into the school of your choice" anecdotes please

53 replies

CarrieMumsnet · 08/10/2007 17:46

Hi all

We've been asked to pull together some anecdotes on the lengths parents will go to to get their child into the school of their choice. This could be prepping for private school entry or working the system to get to the local (or not so local) state school. We're hoping not to get into a debate about whether parents should or shouldn't do this (there's plenty of that debate raging most days in the education topic) but going for the more ridiculous and hopefully fun tales from the school front line.
So if you jumped through hoops to get into the school gates of your choice, please tell us about it here.

Thanks

MNHQ

OP posts:
AitchyBabesHugz2AllUHunnis · 09/10/2007 14:47

i like the idea that Abby's best off-camera... i too have a face for radio...

MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 09/10/2007 15:21

Thanks for the contributions so far, but please do keep em coming.

We wanted to ask as well:
why is it so important to get into the best school?
why does it end up being so stressful?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts.
Thanks as ever,
MNHQ

foofi · 09/10/2007 15:22

I know someone who offered the Head a HUGE bribe. Didn't follow through though!

LIZS · 09/10/2007 15:36

We registered dd at a private school at 6 months which then got ds (older by 3 years and way down the waiting list despite having been regsitered at 3) sibling priority so moving him up the list by about 10 places ! Still didn't get a place until year 3, at which time he also had to take an entrance test, when she started in Reception though.

Bink · 09/10/2007 15:40

I think the anecdotal value is usually in the failures, isn't it? The parents who send the bursar a daily bunch of flowers for a year and still don't get a place (is the fable I've heard).

We got a place for dd at her new school because they had a one-off place and she's a nice cheery educable round peg. End of. And not very fair on all the square pegs (I have one of those as well).

dirtmonkey · 09/10/2007 16:27

My sister converted to catholicism . Not at catholicism but at converting to get her DS into a good school. In fairness the only other alternative was asbo central so I can see where she was coming from. I guess until we are in the situation where private fees aren't an option & the only "good" school is a faith school perhaps we don't know what lengths we would go to...

PoshCod · 09/10/2007 16:28

why is it relvant at this time of eyar olivia?

PoshCod · 09/10/2007 16:29

will give ds1 tutition to get him past 11 plu
btut hat is hardly interstign or novel

if i hired a goat as a tutor it matbe tho

foofi · 09/10/2007 16:38

Cod, this is the time of year when you have to apply for 11+ schools. Forms (round here anyway) have to be in by 19th Oct.

edam · 09/10/2007 16:52

Olivia, it was important to us because when ds was born we were living in London. Local schools were pants. Apart from one - and you had to live within 100 yards of it. Which we didn't.

This is not the most damning piece of evidence, but my house was on a cut through for parents walking to the nearest school. I heard them affectionately addressing their little darlings as 'f8ckers' and 'c*nts' every morning. Call me fussy, but I wasn't terribly keen on sending ds there.

Some friends had moved out to a town with good schools and a fast commute. So we followed. (Tbh the deciding factor was the number of shootings in the area around us, but schooling was definitely an issue.)

janeiteofthelivingdead · 09/10/2007 17:07

We are not "loaded" by any means - but chose to move to a slightly less than ideal house near to an ideal school for dd, rather than a perfect house near a not so ideal school (although on paper, the school that we chose not to send her to is doing very well, we didn't feel it reflected the community it was supposed to serve, as many pupils bussed in from elsewhere - the school we chose has no choice than to be a community school because its catchment is very tight).

Earlybird · 09/10/2007 17:38

We moved from London to America over the summer. In my mind, getting a place at our school of choice was key to a successful move (or absolving my guilt at uprooting dd). The school we applied to is known for its' adademic excellence and diversity, and is quite difficult to get into (only 4 places available in dd's year, which is an 'intake' year). We were very fortunate to be offered one of those places (and did not send in the $5000 'contribution' cheque that an alum suggested 'might be helpful'.).

I was standing at pick-up last week with some mums, and one said to me 'hope you don't think I'm nosy, but how did your dd get into the school?' I replied 'not sure really. I suppose she did well on the admission interview/test, or maybe a single-parent-family-from-London was a quirky addition to the diversity the school is known for?'. The mums looked at me with raised eyebrows as they clearly thought I wasn't giving them the whole story.

My guess is that many people here lobby hard with letters from influential people and/or attempt to bribe their way in by promises of parental involvement/financial generosity, etc. All of us new parents have already had a letter from the development office with a 'suggested contribution amount'.

Bink · 09/10/2007 20:04

EB - WOW (I know, I'm going to reply on your separate thread but couldn't help jumping in here too) Goodness Me. About the parents and about the culture.

Bink · 09/10/2007 20:09

Oh - incidentally - [Bink draws EB off into a corner] - I read a lifestyle-column-type piece by a New Yorker who'd come from the US-sought-after-school-system into the London one and was writing about the differences. It's really rather good (and not tomorrow's fish&chip paper as these things usually are) and I think you'd find it interesting. Do you still have the same email?

Bink · 09/10/2007 20:11

Oh - and yet another observation: I love your response to the mother - it's exactly the best of the witty deflecting self-deprecating Brit way. You've gone native ...!

ididitformychildren · 09/10/2007 20:54

i've changed my name

Our guests did ask why we chose to have the DC christened two days after moving into a new house.

The truth is not that it was a good excuse to throw a house-warming party at the same time. The truth is that we had to get DS1 christened that weekend in order to meet the admission deadline for the local faith school.

MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 10/10/2007 07:53

Bump!

MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 10/10/2007 10:15

.

MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 10/10/2007 17:25

..

MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 10/10/2007 21:07

...

Earlybird · 11/10/2007 15:15

OliviaMumsnet - advance notice that what follows below is a thread hijack, but please consider it also a thread bump....

Bink - yes, it was a conversation that seemed a bit 'odd' as it was happening, but is more astonishing as I think back on it.

What I neglected to add to the overall school story to give context, was the 'New Parents Breakfast' which happened a few weeks ago. I received an invitation in the post which said 'New Parents, We Want to Get to Know You', and gave a date/time for what seemed a lovely parental 'settling in' gesture.

Fast forward to the morning in question, and naive EB (that's me) arrives eagerly expecting to be 'welcomed' into the school 'family'. We all got our coffee, fruit and pastries, and sat down to be treated to an hour long, ill-prepared pitch for money (think public speaking skill level of George Bush at his rambling/inarticulate 'best'). It was all I could do to stay seated, and not leave the room in disgust. It was at the end of this 'welcome breakfast', as we were leaving, that each parent was presented with the 'suggested contribution' letter....as I left the room, I noticed the school's Head of Development and Board Chairman animatedly chatting with a new parent who owns/runs a very successful nationally known company. I'm sure she's just the sort of a new parent the school would like to get to know....

My opinion of the school's admin and parental ethos plummeted after that meeting. What I don't know is if that 'method' is commonplace in America - I suspect it is.

Perhaps this is the logical follow on from the thread topic: 'what happens after you get your child into the school of your choice'?

preggersagain · 11/10/2007 15:25

he he the fun and games around here is unbelievable- our local rc primary (best in the area, better than the private prep) has just had a new adventure playground donated by a local businessman (who by chance has a 3 yo son!!) school said thank you very much- but no your son still hasn't got a place as you are not a god fearing good christian family etc etc.

Anyway, three days after said adventure playground was opened a small child was seriously injured falling off some equipment, hence lots of parents pulling children out = loads of places, unfortunately the buisinessman involved feels too ashamed to go and enrol his son now Talk about a kick in the teeth!!

CappuScreamO · 11/10/2007 15:34

I built a new church hall with my bare hands

and shagged the vicar

and if any of the governors need a new kidney I have signed a waiver

stateofthenation · 15/10/2007 09:58

We are lucky to have a couple of brilliant primary schools in our area - but this is coupled with an extraordinarily high density of young families. Last year, in one school, out of 60 places available in two reception classes, 54 were taken up by siblings, 4 were taken up by two sets of twins that had just moved in to within spitting distance of the school, leaving just two for other kids.

At the other school, people definitely rent properties to get in - there is an incredible turnover in the occupation of the houses bang opposite! Kids get in and then the family moves to a less expensive home a bit further away. Undoubtedly, being within the catchment area must add 50 if not 100K to the value of your home. The catchment area itself is a joke though - there is no such thing - so people are sold homes in the area, literally a five minute walk from the school gate, not realising that they may well not get a place, depending on the sibling ration etc.

As for tuition for private school entry - most people do it and, if they have any sense, have put their kids' names down by the end of KS1. A friend rang a respected tutor last week and was told she was too late to get on her list - her child has only just started year 3!

Giggi · 15/10/2007 11:15

we went the private route for primary which involved for my ds having an interview and "test" aged 2 and a bit!! (He's an aug b'day). First off the form we filled in asked things like how old was he when he crawled/ walked etc and as he was my second child I of course had no idea so made it up. But almost left there and then on basis of how any school could think that was relevant. They also asked on form if he knew his colours. I decided to say yes and hope they didn't check. They did of course. Shortly after he told them (when they asked) that he'd had carrots for b'fast (do I say he's lying or just pretend that carrots are normal breakfast fodder?) the teacher pointed to a dinosaur and said what colour is that? He miraculously said Green - total fluke. I was so chuffed I made a huge fuss of congratulating him. Big mistake. To everything else she asked he just gave the answer green and looked at me expectantly, waiting for the same reaction.

The miracle was that despite this being an incredibly competitive school to get into (32 places, 200 interviewed) he got in so heaven knows what the other children did at their "interview". I very nearly turned the place down on basis that tests were so odd, but let him go in the end as despite all of the nonsense, once you're in it's a good school. I can only think he got a place because at the end of it all, without being asked, he tidied the toys up. Again total fluke, and first and last time he's done that, but must have done the trick. So top tip. Forget the tutors, just get them to learn to tidy up (even if they don't get in, you've still had the benefit of all the practice!).