Is there anything you can do to help abused women?

[NeedACleverNN]

A thread has caused me to think that something needs to change for women who are suffering domestic abuse.

At the moment there is not enough support. Some have to go into hiding and are essentially cut off from the world.

Unable to register, unable to vote, unable to gain credit or even claim certain benefits.

This is disgusting. Why are women being let down in society and their abusers are getting away with it?

On top of this, many refuges are closing down to lack of funding. Is there anything MNHQ can do to help?

Your website is a beacon for women. It provides a lot of support and advice to those seeking it. You could potentially be a very powerful voice to the public

[BeMorePanda]

Absolutely

[ohfourfoxache]

Elsa

[frikadela01]

Absolutely behind this.

I donated a load of clothes, many with tags still on to my local refuge recently but would love to help in other ways.

[ohfourfoxache]

Link for finding a local service that will take donations

www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

[Foslady]

Totally behind this - was only when reading up on MN that I realised just how abusive an ex was - and that no, it's not just one of those things.

[itmustbemyage]

Agreed

[ElsaAintAsColdAsMe]

cozie it really would make such a difference.

I guess the person who bought a few pounds worth of toiletries won't even remember they did it now, but for me and my children it meant the world and I'll never forget.

Even though that person didn't know who they were donating to they made me feel like a human again for the first time in a very long time.

[Ginkypig]

Agree.

Can I also point out that there a a lot of women who are in the same position (Some have to go into hiding and are essentially cut off from the world.Unable to register, unable to vote, unable to gain credit or even claim certain benefits) because of childhood sexual abuse and are terrified of the revenge from disclosing the abuse.

I don't want to highjack the thread but they face the exact same issues

[ArmySal]

A cause close to my own heart, I absolutely agree.

[AnnieOnnieMouse]

Umpteenthed

[Just5minswithDacre]

Good point ginky

[DangerQuakeRhinoSnake]

I once rang my local women's refuge as I had some make up to donate. They never got back to me. I guessed they were just too busy. Something more organised would be fantastic.

[Lagirafe]

Danger yes they were probably busy and lots of part time staff in my experience and sometimes messages get missed etc.
Also some refuges simply don't have the storage so unless they have a family in house they know would like a pushchair, cot etc they cannot store things.

[BewitchedBotheredandBewildered]

Definitely agree.

[tiredvommachine]

Agreed.

[MrsHathaway]

Agreed.

The very small thing this family does on a regular basis is that whenever DH goes away for work he stashes as many of the little freebie bottles of shampoo, bars of soap, etc from the hotel as he possibly can. Our local shelter (a friend is the manager) uses them for welcome packs for their new arrivals. He stays in fairly naice hotels so they're spa quality.

Anyway so if anyone is thinking of boxing up stuff then those are a welcome addition, as well as similar "hotel freebies" such as single-sachet hot chocolate/cappuccino etc.

[fuzzywuzzy]

Completely agree. Also women fleeing DV end up with nothing but the clothes on their backs and sometimes severely traumatised DC along with their own trauma having escaped the violent partner.

It's the only instance I can think of where the perpetrator ends up with everything and no consequences.

[BeyondLovesSweetDee]

Adding another yes voice

[HicDraconis]

Agreed here too. Though not in uk, still think it's a great idea. We took bags of Easter eggs to our local refuge, this thread has reminded me to get more involved.

[CiderwithBuda]

Agreed.

We advise so many on here to call Women's Aid and to go to a refuge. A MN campaign to help with funding for these seems like a very natural thing.

Housing benefit should be able to fund places in refuges and should not be capped. No woman WANTS to be in a refuge. No woman WANTS to have to leave her home and uproot her children.

There also needs to be much stronger legal help for women in this position. Stronger sentencing. Harsher financial penalties for perpetrators- if they themselves are receiving benefits they should be on bare minimum and the woman and children supported I.e child maintenance taken at source.

Emotional and financial abuse needs more recognition too.

[cozietoesie]

I'd like not to feel a twinge of conscience (about overload) when I see or post advice to call WA. This really is an issue to put some effort behind the words on the page. I'm sure that WA have actually saved lives before as well as saving sanity and people's future happiness.

[Gruach]

Tbh I had vaguely assumed that MN was heavily involved in campaigning for women in or leaving refuges already.

It is definitely something worth doing.

Even before the recent budget cuts there was always a huge gap in the quality of provision between one refuge and another. Now even the best and most overstretched are having to close, let go of much needed staff or severely restrict the amount of time women and their children can stay - meaning not enough time to sort out issues and a greater likelihood of being forced by circumstance back to the abusive home.

I have known countless women who were only able to attend a job interview / wear something confidence building to court, etc because of a box of donated clothes/shoes arriving unexpectedly at the refuge they're living in.

[DangerQuakeRhinoSnake]

Agree Cider this could be a many-pronged campaign. There is certainly much to be done.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

I would support MN campaigning on this issue.

My work has collection boxes for travel toiletries (lots of people travel for work) and they go to a local refuge.

[IfTheCapFitsWearIt]

YY to a MN campaign