Man-Bashing, Bannings, Criticisms, Rules, Questions - Answers & Opinions please

[bobkford]

After reading the site for a few months, due to my girlfriend using it (lurking usually), I decided to express my thoughts via a little animated short, and yesterday I joined up and posted a link to it here. It was soon removed and I was banned. Hmmm.

I won't post it again. You can find it on YouTube if you search 'Mumsnet No Menz' I don't think it was offensive. It was critical of Mumsnet in a humorous way... is that why I was banned? I looked in the rules and can find only 'Talk - all human life is there' and "Our policy is to keep intervention to a minimum and let the conversation flow. Having said that, we will remove postings that are obscene, contain personal attacks or break the law."

I don't see how the former is true if light-hearted critiques of Mumsnet are not allowed, but more so, my video was not obscene, did not contain any personal attacks or break the law' It did however raise some points, which I would honestly like Mumsnet or Mumsnetters opinions on. Please don't be too defensive (or indulge in 'personal attacks' of course) I think Mumsnet is on the whole a force for good, and one my partner and I may be seriously grateful for if and when a baby comes - but I also think it is not perfect and should not censor criticism. Such as

1. The site is called Mumsnet, but it is subtitled By Parents For Parents. Yet fathers are at best a token presence here, as most have realized they are not free to debate on issues where they find themselves in disagreement with a woman/women. Men are constantly mocked and ridiculed - in the AIBU section for example so many threads ask 'AIBU to be fucked off with my useless husband...' and women line up to say 'your husband sounds like a total pillock, throw his dinner in the bin' - reverse the sexes and the man would be labelled a misogynist bully and shown the door. If women found a website where men talked about their partners like that they would be horrified. The website moderators do nothing to confront man-bashing, so men leave or end up banned if they begin to complain.

1. I am not a Men's Rights Activist, nor anti-feminist (my gf is a feminist) but anyone who does not label themselves a feminist has their card marked. Any man that discusses an issue and does not agree with the 'feminist line' on the subject will be likely be labelled a troll and soon banned Hardly 'all human life is here'

1. As my video said I DO think its strange or inappropriate that there is a feminist section (and quote a dogmatic one if I may add) on Mumsnet, where so many regulars of that section proudly claim NOT to be parents.

It seems strange that a father on a parenting site can be banned for disagreeing with a (childless) feminist, about parenting issues, or gender issues, or many things. And yes, I have seen many virulently anti-male things in that section, yet it's virtually off-limits to even some moderate feminists (like my gf) because she would disagree with some of the rad fem positions and get abused/banned. It also seems to serve little purpose because discussion is not welcome there, only agreement with the feminist view on the matter. My feminist gf feels the same way, the members should welcome a chance to debate, even if they have done it before many times, as they are 'ambassadors' for feminism, and there are people reading.

1. I am not a father yet, but hopefully I soon will be. I don't want a Mumsnet AND a Dadsnet - I'd like Mumsnet to be more even handed with both sexes, or if thats not possible just admit its a site for mums/women and say men/dads aren't allowed. I'd much prefer the former of course. I want to do as much parenting as possible when I have children, and would hope I would be as welcome as any mother would be at Mumsnet, come the time I need advice help and support.

1. And finally, banning. How about an explanation when someone is banned? The men's rights activists were quite obvious, and I suppose could be banned if 'here to cause trouble' - but then again why couldn't a father who also believes in men's rights activism post here at a site for parents, unless he breaking a rule? Is this site only for people with one set of opinions? I have read the site's originators say that the site has no party line, all voices are there - is that really true? Is criticism, even done in an allegedly humorous way like my video, or this post, unwelcome? Am I now unwelcome because I've returned after being banned? I have heard regulars say that they would like to know the reason why someone got banned, I think it would be useful too.

I hope that isn't too long, and that I don't come across as a 'trouble maker' - As someone who may be needing Mumsnet or similar soon, I'm very interested in asking these questions and raising these criticisms, hopefully constructively.

ok, who insulted the poor little man?

nice work

Did you miss the bit where mummy told you "Well life isn't fair darling" ?

Now if it bothers you so much, start your own website and say things about women being useless or whatever, don't clog ours up with your bullshit.

good grief, why did my message get deleted? It was basically just a quotation from the OP!

I guess it must be I who am the total pillock who should have my dinner thrown in the bin, huh?

Men's rights activist? Not much to do there, since men already run the world

Oh dear, I was a bit. But I've been far ruder on here. Gosh, what a delicate little flower poor Dan is. I said he was a liar which, as stayfrosty's investigations show, he is. I might have said something else too :o

we could go over to his pity party fb page and offer him a tissue and breast to cry into, but i feel i may be inclined to cuddle him a little too severely.

it is rather funny though

I think to suggest there is an issue with non-parents being on here is very short sighted. You are missing the point that some will have joined when ttc, like your gf?, when pg and then sadly muscarried and of course those whose children have passed away. And there are those who found their way here by a different path. So what?

Quote frankly I was I could make sure you never returned but mn is fairer than me. You are looking for a fight that much is clear. And another one hoping your gf stays.

Message turned into a monotonous video by Mumsnet.

Surely if you don't like a website you don't use it? It's like phoning up the BBC and telling them to change Eastenders because it doesn't fir your personal agenda.

I don't like NetHuns but I'm not whinging over there to make it more like Mumsnet.

LOL MerryBerry

You'd have thought by now I'd learn not to click on links on Mumsnet. But no. If its not the sodding bat, its some sad bloke.

I'd rather look at blue waffle than than that. T'was dull.

"Did anyone actually read the OP? It was about 500 paragraphs too long for me. What was the question and what is the answer?"

I believe it was something along the lines of,
"wahh wahhh wahh, look at my poorly done video and pander to my needs"
"oh do fuck off"

In brief

I thought it is quite clear that the OP's main concern is that he detects a virulent strain of misandry running through this site, most notably but not confined to the feminist section, that is never addressed by the moderators or most members, who are hypocritically very tough on misogyny. And how this is very problematic for the UK's biggest site for parents, which should aim to be unbiased and not sexist.

Some people seem to be trying very hard to miss the point though.

Hullo, undefeated! You sound both interesting and previously unheard of! Tell us more!

I think it's a shame for him really- perhaps his work is a bit slow? My DP manages to keep busy, produce fantastic art, and somehow refrain from bizarre crusades against women on the Internet. He does get regular sex though, and isn't lonely, so maybe that's the difference.

Why yes undefeated, tell us more! Remember however that we are all , and address us appropriately

Nothing to add, just crying with laughter. Awww I love you lot

Are you defeated, undefeated?

GOOD GOD, I just clicked on Merryberry's link. This really isn't funny anymore. He's bloody SCARY!!!!!
I havn't been on MN very long but so far I have found kindness, humour and decency. I would never be afraid to go onto the feminist threads or anywhere on MN because we are all adults and the best discussions involve expressing different points of view, 'listening' to each other and learning along the way.
I just googled Feminism and found this:
Feminism is a collection of movements aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights and equal opportunities for women.[1][2][3] Its concepts overlap with those of women's rights. Feminism is mainly focused on women's issues, but because feminism seeks gender equality, some feminists argue that men's liberation is therefore a necessary part of feminism, and that men are also harmed by sexism and gender roles. Feminists are "person[s] whose beliefs and behavior[s] are based on feminism."[

Sorry, I just posted that before finishing ... I was going to say that I couldn't see who on earth could disagree with the above, except perhaps someone morally deficient. And OP sound to me like he could actually be DANGEROUS after watching that link from Merryberry.