Forgot to return purchases on time, retailer is charging me

[user120525]

I stupidly forgot to return £400(!!) worth of clothes within the retailer's 14 day returns eligibility window (perimenopause brain?). So I just posted the lot back to them and wrote them a nice email asking if I could please get a refund onto my original payment method (credit card).
They wrote back saying they've given me £400 credit onto my online account instead. I don't want this credit, I really need the money back.
I realise that I am entirely in the wrong here but was wondering if anyone knows or has ideas for recourse here so I can get actual real money refunded back to me?! TIA!

ADHD is a very valid reason for this to happen multiple times (not an 'excuse'). I have to work very, very hard to stay on top of this one thing, to the point that it might be the one extra thing I am able to do that week - because it's urgent - but it gets done.

ADHD can be absolutely debilitating, even with reminders and being vaguely aware that you have to do the thing, so I can understand that OP often forgets or becomes too overwhelmed to deal with it.

However that has no bearing at all on this situation, and the company in question has already generously bent the rules to give OP credit in this amount.

Why didn't you try the things on and if you didn't like them or they didn't fit just put them straight back in the post? Why sit on them until you 'forget' to send them back, no sympathy really.

As someone who works in retail and processes returns you were lucky to even get credit. Don’t order clothes you don’t intend to keep. We get clothes returned which haven’t even been taken out of the plastic, utterly infuriating.

Don’t blame companies (and staff for that matter) for sticking to rules, they exist for a reason and we’re fed up of trying to get pity out of us.

Makes me wonder how businesses survive OP! You did well to get the £400 credit and you know that.

Oh come on, if we were all so on the ball there would be no market for all the calendars, reminders, alarms, post it notes etc.

Why do you tune out the notifications, though?

and she's holding her hands up saying she knows it's entirely how own fault.
She asked if there was any way to get a full refund rather than credit. It seems unlikely and she accepts that, but it was worth asking.

There are some spectacularly ableist comments on this thread.

I'm assuming that it's a lack of understanding of ADHD, rather than people being deliberately unkind.

If it is a major retailer I would send a quick email explaining precisely why you didn't return them on time (ie. disability) and asking politely if there's any chance that you could have cash rather than credit.

If it's a small/indie place then I'd take the hit.

Love the ebay idea mentioned by a pp.

Exactly.

And people need to stop buying quantities of clothing with a plan to return most of it. That ends up costing all of us money and wasting resources.

Returns should be rare, in the event of a real error or defect.

I wish I knew!!

All I can say is that it is just how my brain seems to work. It is not conscious or intentional in any way, and I wish that it didn't happen, but try as I might, I don't seem to be able to change it.

I simply don't "see" the reminders, i.e. my brain doesn't register and process them. I'm more likely to "hear" a reminder via my Alexa device, but sometimes my brain won't register that either.

I get that it's difficult for people to understand if they don't have this problem, but it is very real for me and it isn't something that I can just switch off at will.

If it's something you often do, stop buying so much online! Try putting a reminder in your phone of the date you need to return by when you do order anything.
To be fair they've been more than generous as you agree to their terms when you place your order, it's a contract.
Is there anyone else you know who buys from this company who would use the store credit and give you cash for it?

I think if someone wants to get around the normal rules because of their disability they should make it clear.

e.g. Dear retailer, I understand that I am returning these items some 6 weeks after the 14 day returns window. I have a diagnosis of ADHD and find that this disability impacts my ability to [insert whatever]

You can't expect retailers to make allowances for disabilities unless they know about them.

Best bet is to try and sell the store credit to a friend or family member who will be able to use it. I'd happily do it for someone close to me if I could spend the credit.

The store are very much in the right here, they're being over generous if anything, and I think you know this.

But in future the second you've decided to do something, do it. Or if you can't for whatever reason, set an alarm on your phone for later on.

You're an adult and yes, having other issues going on might affect your memory, but you need to find ways of coping with this.

Can you ask for it as a gift card or barcode that you could then sell for a slight loss? So gift card for £400, offer for sale online for £350 or something?

This is why my Vinted is full of BNWT items!

I do not have ADHD and I tune out notifications.

I find we are so bombarded with messages, spam, contacts across so many platforms, it gives me avoidance jitters.

i package stuff up straight away and lean it across the front door!

I leave paper notes in my own handwriting on my computer.

Whatever works for each and every one of us.

Busy women, multi tasking, it’s no big criminal make a mistake

Look at the number of panicked passport crises!

Huge amounts of social media influencers are getting hundreds of pounds worth of clothes delivered, trying them on and sending them back. I imagine this is the reason for the crack down. Fair enough imo!

That's interesting that you do this without adhd as well.

I also do handwritten notes on post-its on my computer screen, and place items that need to leave the house in front of the front door!!

They're trying to run a business so can't imagine you'll get a refund.

Is there anything you can use the credit for that would cancel out some other outgoings? Birthday presents etc

There's nothing else you can do. I've done similar. I've actually stopped buying from catalogues because of it! Can you buy something else with the credit? Is there something expensive that you need? Next years school uniforms/coffee/new duvets and bed sheets/towels/coffee machine/furniture?

I am not sure that having countless reminders is the best way to avoid things like this. That sounds like something I would end up ignoring too. I don’t have ADHD but I’m forgetful and an outwardly a bit scatty. I overcome this by having a set time each week to ‘do stuff’ and a single ‘important stuff’ note on my phone. I also am very strict with filing everything away in the right place. I have to otherwise it would be chaos and I would find that stressful.

14 days seems a very short timeframe to return items in (full price rather than sale goods) and pretty unusual - most are 28 days. Equally is that from recipt if the items not order or dispatch date because that eats into your 14 days.....
If the 14 day return period is NOT clearly advertised on website/emails/returns paperwork then I think it is worth contacting head office to a) complain about lack of clarity b) your ADHD disability and how it affects you.
If you were thinking it was 28 days you are only just outside that timeframe.
I'm doing a shout out for GO outdoors who refunded me on items that were just outside the 28 day limit, no fuss etc.

@user120525 I did this once, but I had just had a bereavement and broke down in tears to customer services on the phone after I left the shop saying I couldn’t afford to just have the credit note and they instantly refunded me!! I was actually a genuine case, but maybe you could try that?

It's not just 14 days. You have to notify of return in 14 days and have another 14 days to return. Those offering 28 days aren't being nice they are just complying with the law as it stands

Being scatter brained or a procrastinator are common in people with ADHD, but plenty (most?) people who are scatter brained and procrastinators do not have ADHD.