ADHD and high school

[olivehater]

Just spoke to my recently ADHD diagnosed Y6 child’s teacher and she was more negative than expected. Said he’s wild at times and really struggling in class and she felt sorry for him. I asked if they have been implementing some of the recommendations from the dr that diagnosed him and she said they had. He is not on any medication and as we had him diagnosed privately it would probably be difficult to go down that route quickly.
Thing is they have been doing sats exams and he is getting greater depth in everything and she says she full expects him to get 100% in his maths. So so far it doesn’t seem to affect him on an academic level. He is also very popular with lots of friends so socially it isn’t a big issue either.
DH not keen on medication if we can get away without it and also not keen on him being diagnosed under the NHS for fear of it affecting his future.
I guess I just worry about the future and how he will cope with high school and whether he will be able to keep the academic side up. He’s is naturally very bright and doesn’t have to work at the moment but I guess that can only get you so far.
His adhd is more related to the impulsive hyperactive side. He does have some aspects of inattention but didn’t meet the threshold so I realise he is mild in comparison to others.
Will things get better or worse at high school? What are others experiences?

Sending you a big hug OP. I have been very lucky to have DH on board with medication and it's been a game changer for us. Senior school is a much more complex social environment and the impulsiveness that comes with your son's ADHD type is just tolerated a lot less as the kids mature. We've found the change better for him , school and our family overall. For my DS- he is calmer , happier and is the lovely boy that he wants to be on his meds..friendships are so but easier now too..

Update have made appointment with the GP for next Monday so will see what they say.

There is book called parents guide to adhd meds. Well worth getting a copy

My experience with my two is that they were both loved at Primary School. Their teachers knew them well and (maybe even sub-consciously?) made adjustments.
Just not possible in Secondary, where they could have 10 different teachers over a week and where those teaching staff might teach 300 or more students in a week, not the 30 that Primary school teachers have to get to know.
Plus, there is all the time management and executive function stuff that comes with having to get yourself to different parts of the building throughout each day, and to have to manage having the right resources (books, PE kit, musical instrument, cookery stuff, etc) on the right day, at the right time. Then managing your planner, and home works due on different days. Plus managing physically getting to school on time. Mine found it exhausting, having both really loved Primary school.

My daughter was initially referred for adhd in y4 but didn't meet the threshold.

She's now Y9 and has been struggling for about 14 months - it's getting worse month by month.

She has had a Mental health assessment and is scoring highly for ADHD so I am going to go the private diagnosis route hopefully in next month or two.

Your husband is your sons biggest barrier. Not the ADHD.

Your husband is suggesting your son “just copes.” It’s not the 80s. Be careful your son doesn’t find out and resent him.

I understand what you husband is saying about labels. But this isn’t choice. He has ADHD. You can’t just decide you don’t want him to have it so that is that. How recent was the diagnosis could your DH still be in denial? How is that teaching your son to cope? I am not suggesting meditation maybe a private EP to do a report on your son in high school. Offer him some coping techniques.

I know this thread is a little old but I just thought my experience might help the OP if they are still checking.

My DS sounds very similar to yours, regularly at the top of his class, can focus but has issues with hyperactivity and impulse control.

We thought he would maybe grow out of it, but he didn’t. We eventually had a private diagnosis and did titration privately too. Then switched to a shared care agreement with the GP. We don’t use medication every day, just as and when needed, but it does really help our DS.

You mentioned that your DS was diagnosed by a psychologist? Only a few psychologists are able to properly diagnose ADHD. It’s usually done by psychiatrists (and occasionally specialist paediatricians) and they are the only ones who can prescribe medication. This could be why your psychologist hasn’t moved forward with that perhaps? If you have a private diagnosis you have to do the titration period (to find the correct drug and dose) privately as well so the costs really do mount up.

NHS waiting lists are several years unfortunately and most Right to choose providers won’t do children either anymore.

Also, just be aware some GP’s will not do shared care agreements unfortunately.

I agree with the other posters that have said that there is nothing to fear from getting a diagnosis & trying medication, and it could also really help your DS.

“I was told by some experienced in this sort of thing that I needed to step back and leave it to school to deal with”

As a parent of an ASC/ADHD child (and I know lots of other SEN parents), that is fucking terrible advice. You have done exactly the right thing. Schools have a lot of children to take care of, you need to strongly advocate for including among suggestions and making sure that all teachers are communicated with. Leaving it up to the school is how children fall through the cracks and fail.

Just a positive story about ADHD and secondary for you.

A friend's son has done much better at secondary because there is more movement and activity - an opportunity to move around between lessons and re-regulate rather than being in the same classroom. It's really helped.

Your husband needs to get over himself. I see you went to the GP which is positive anyway.

Not criticising SENCos, but I think sometimes as they spend most of their time dealing with children with higher needs, they can sometimes have a bit of a blind spot for "high functioning" neurodiversity. And if a child is broadly 'coping' at school issues aren't getting flagged to them anyway.

I'm reading this thread with interest as DS has ADHD and ASD and is moving up to secondary this year. He's flown under the radar at primary because he's getting reasonable academic results and isn't disruptive. I do really worry a lot about the transition though.

I think this is spot on. Understandably, the children with the greatest needs get the most attention. Those who are actually doing well academically (on the surface at least) but aren’t actually fulfilling their true potential (especially girls who can be very good at masking it) are often not picked up. Often things come to a head in secondary school when life generally gets harder and they need to be more organised to cope.

Bizarrely DS has kind of come to the attention of the school a bit more because he has been absolute smashing it in his mock SATS because the exam environment (very quiet , very structured) gets the best out of him (while in the average day he’ll spend half the lesson staring out of the window, miss the instructions etc). It’s like “ohhhh, actually you’re really bright!”

Just thought I would give an update. Have been referred under right to choose. 18 month wait on that. CAMs was a definite no. Basically your child has to have serious mental health problems before you even be accepted on the wait list. It is pretty ridiculous.

Have found a private service that will take our psychologists diagnosis and looking into doing that. I would like to try medication over the summer before he goes to high school if possible.

Sending a further update to those that helped me and to help anyone in a similar situation.
We ended up going to a private service that was happy to take our diagnosis and started titration. He has come to the end of titration and thankfully our GP accepted shared care so now we no longer have to pay for medication. Just a bi annual appointment to tweak the dose.
He has started high school and has had a great start. The Sen was great. He has been put the top sets for those classes that are setted. He has not been in trouble once and had nothing but positives. The constant moving around to different classes seems to suit him. He does a lot of sport ( it’s a sport heavy school) which helps. He is staying out of trouble despite a lot of his friends getting in trouble. He does come accross a little naeive compared to his friends and that worries me as they get older but so far I am happy.
Whether it’s the drugs, the change in school, the extra challenges for him or everything together I am not sure but it’s working so far.
I do wish we had started him on the drugs in year 6 so we had a direct comparison but we are where we are.

My nephew’s really similar – super bright, full of energy, and his teacher once called him a “walking brainstorm.” He was diagnosed mild ADHD too, and they didn’t go for meds right away. What helped a lot was structure at home and breaks for movement during study time. I also came across a discussion about Let's rethink healthcare and how some families explored medical cannabis treatment later on — interesting to see how many ways there are to support kids like this.