Looking for full boarding girls schools

[AmazingGrace2009]

Grateful for some advice: I’m looking for a genuine full boarding girls school (e.g. more than 70% full boarders) for my two DDs for Y7 and Y9. We live overseas so I do wish that the boarding houses will provide organised activities for boarders and will not be emptied with only a few international students left at weekends. I weight more on pastoral care and school environment (e.g. with nice teaching staff / school team, friendly neighbourhood, etc.) but if the schools are academic (no need to be hothouse though) is certainly a plus. 2 hours from London is acceptable.

I heard that some boarding schools claim that they are full boarding but they in fact flexibly allow students to go home on request. Some boarding schools may also tend to shift from full boarding to weekly boarding. This kind of information just can't be found simply from the ranking table or from the school websites. If there is any information from parents, it will just be great. Thanks!

@MayIDestroyYou

That sounds a bit rubbish for her, Crumbs, unless her actual parents are in and out of the school all the time?

I remember at prep level the non-UK based parents seemed to spend more time at the school than we (a few hours on the motorway) ever did. I doubt they made much demand on their appointed guardians.

But I also remember a poster, some while ago, who had been asked to act as guardian to a non-UK resident child at boarding school in England. She wanted to be assured that the child would be invited to stay with (new) friends every exeat and holiday - so nothing would be required from her as guardian. I wasn't the only person who found this attitude iniquitous.

Parents live the other side of the world, so not able to visit at all. Neither of them are British so no relatives here either.

School is also the other side of the country from me - and I have my own children/job etc, so absolutely no way I would be able to drop in and visit (would take 7 hours to drive there).

She's 16, has her own horse at the school and seems blissfully happy. In an emergency I would move heaven and earth to help her, but I was very clear that I'm not round the corner and couldn't pop in.

Was a bit surprised the boarding staff have never emailed or written or called but parents didn't seem too concerned. I speak to her mum pretty often so I'm not completely out of the loop.

With the very greatest respect - and I care nothing about the horse - her parents really should have chosen someone else. (With you just fulfilling the role of distant family friend.) I'm extremely surprised the school have found this total absence of real life/in person support acceptable.

I boarded myself, perfectly happily, decades ago; the younger generation of my family have also boarded, full time, very happily. I think boarding is/can be fantastic - but this is the 21st century and it should not be experienced as children experienced it in the 19th century.

What a load of rubbish!! Are you just anti boarding deep down?

Many parents engage guardians through agencies. What about then?

Loads of the guardians at DDs first boarding school showed up at exeats and holidays only. Weekly boarding would be a pain for them. They were not substitute parents or relatives. We rarely saw the overseas parents and the Chinese parents never! Not once in 7 years.

I boarded and didn't see anyone from one half term to the next... a few friends had parents who lived nearby and came to matches etc and took them out to tea. Don't remember being at all surprised by lack of parents etc - but then I came from a family where boarding school was the norm and I doubt my grandparents showed up at all, so it wouldn't have crossed my parents' minds to do so.

Imagine a prep-school age boarder might want/need visits, but with FaceTime, mobile phones etc sixteen year-olds are more inclined to think visiting guardians are a chore to be avoided! The occasions I have rescued, I've very happily organised trips to London and fun stuff for her so she definitely knows that she's always welcome.

May I ask how old are your DDs? Some of the schools on your list need to be registered fairly early.

For what it’s worth, I live locally to the school and I would say there is a real sense of community amongst the girls - Town is busy at weekends and Sherborne students are frequently seen in the local coffee shops, playing fields etc. It would seem to me that a large number of them are full boarders and stay on at weekends. They have great sports facilities too and good links with the boys school in town.

@RAHPeace

May I ask how old are your DDs? Some of the schools on your list need to be registered fairly early.

Thanks for the reminder. I'm planning for 2023 Y7 & Y9 entry. Noted that some schools require registration 2 years ahead.

@PortraitOf

For what it’s worth, I live locally to the school and I would say there is a real sense of community amongst the girls - Town is busy at weekends and Sherborne students are frequently seen in the local coffee shops, playing fields etc. It would seem to me that a large number of them are full boarders and stay on at weekends. They have great sports facilities too and good links with the boys school in town.

Thanks! I get that the general impression on the girls of SG is not bad then. I think Sherborne is a lovely and tranquil town.

Benenden Y9 2023 entry is closed and only for waiting list now. You need to hurry up with the rest on the list.

I think we have to be careful with waiting lists. Of course it's a good idea to register early, but a lot of schools always have space for 1 more - miraculously!

It's true some schools may find themselves with the odd free place late in the day - but applying to boarding schools is already moderately complicated and stressful; it's a much easier process if you do everything according to the schools' individual timetables. Fewer pleading phone calls and sleepless nights!

@Sycamoretrees

Have you considered Tudor Hall? Sounds like a good fit.

At the risk of outing myself DD's current head teacher was previously deputy head at Tudor Hall. If she is anything to go by, then the standard of staffing is very high indeed there.

@Kinlocrhum

I think we have to be careful with waiting lists. Of course it's a good idea to register early, but a lot of schools always have space for 1 more - miraculously!

Yes, Benenden's waiting lists are not true waiting lists.

If you do not want academic I would consider talking CLC off your list, it is a superb school but your DD may not suit. You should speak to them before looking to apply (as with all of course). We went for Cheltenham College, the seniors has a high intake of boarders and it is Cooed which we were very keen on. Pop that on your list too, and good luck x

Have you thought of Tudor Hall OP? It has Saturday school and lots of boarders. My impression is that most are full time and from overseas, although it would be good to ask. They are by no means a hot house, but get very good results and lots of pastoral care. A friend of mine is a "house mother" and she is so wonderful with the kids in her house.

As someone who had lots of friends at wycombe abbey, I would really emphasise the stress that the girls are put under. Many struggle with eating disorders and other mental health issues. (Not shaming of course, they are my friends!) Would really recommend another school unless your daughter is amazing at dealing with pressure.

St Mary’s Ascot (academic) and Heathfield (average) also Ascot, are both full boarding only I THINK. Both near Heathrow. St M’s has a nice rep, and I haven’t heard anything bad c Heathfield. You used to have to be RC for St M’s but not sure you do now.

Malvern girls

Sadly I would have to disagree. Yes, wycombe girls leave with amazing grades but almost everyone I know there suffers or has suffered from awful mental health and a crazy high number of eating disorders! When that amount of pressure is put on the girls, many struggle with these things. I do think it is a great school but would definitely think twice about your daughters resilience for high pressure situations!!

I have heard that about Wycombe Abbey. A real hot house, and if you're not super academic the pressure mounts. Girls are under enough pressure already.
Stick and Poke home made tattoos are the latest craze. Basically sticking a compass in your skin, carving a shape and pouring dye in. It's rife in certain schools.

@AmazingGrace - so sorry!! Just picked this thread up. My daughter loved everything about the school: range of sports, extra curricular, lovely, relaxed boarding houses, strong links with the boys school. There is strong academic focus, but also room for those who are not so academic. My daughter grew so much in confidence during her time there- it was incredible to witness and she was pretty confident before that. Sherborne is a lovely town, with easy train links to London and nice and safe for the girls. I liked the fact that it wasn’t too “stuffy” about things despite there being a lot of very wealthy (old money) students.

Heathfield is most definitely not full boarding any more. They have a healthy contingent of day girls and an increasing number of weekly boarders.

I would just like to defend Wycombe Abbey. DD is very happy there. She is an exception in that she comes home briefly most weekends (we love to see her and she is) but she loves the school. The extracurricular activities are fantastic with high levels of sport, music, drama and lots of clubs.

She has occasional periods when she works hard but this is balanced with more quiet periods. I think a key thing is that she never was tutored and the school was amazing in guiding her and supporting her (essay writing was nothing she really had done before going there).

The girls we see struggle were tutored, sometimes heavily, before coming to the school. To suddenly maintain a high level of academics, independently and access and process the learning on your own when you are used to someone explaining it 1:1 is hard.

It is also hard if you worry a lot or if you are used to always doing amazingly. DD started to do revision notes the first year, they didn’t really work and some first (and in some cases second) exams went much less well than she thought. She got cross, had some chocolate and kept refining her revision note technique. Now she has it down to a T.

There are also many outstanding girls there so you cannot be easily intimidated. Some girls are music grade 8 aged 11 (orchestras are brilliant). Some girls do a very high level of sports outside of school. Some girls are academically off the chart. You need to be able to compete against yourself (chances are someone will always be better than you), take people for what they are, find some friends to study with, help each other and be able to relax with Netflix and popcorn.

For the right girl it is an amazing school and we have found pastoral care excellent (although we have only really needed it for illness and trying to convince DD to cut down at least one of her about 10 extracurricular clubs).

If you have a confident girl who can navigate the above, I really don’t think you need to worry at all. If you have an easily intimidated girl, a girl who is used to tutoring or a girl who is easily stressed, you may want to look a bit at other schools as well and investigate what really would make your child the happiest.

[quote Valenciaoranges]@AmazingGrace - so sorry!! Just picked this thread up. My daughter loved everything about the school: range of sports, extra curricular, lovely, relaxed boarding houses, strong links with the boys school. There is strong academic focus, but also room for those who are not so academic. My daughter grew so much in confidence during her time there- it was incredible to witness and she was pretty confident before that. Sherborne is a lovely town, with easy train links to London and nice and safe for the girls. I liked the fact that it wasn’t too “stuffy” about things despite there being a lot of very wealthy (old money) students.[/quote]
Thanks a lot for coming back to this thread! Glad to know that your girl enjoyed the school life in SG so much. SG is certainly on my list :-)