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Year 10 GCSE Support Thread

1000 replies

OrangeCinnamon · 22/09/2018 09:56

Hi all,
Can we have a thread for Year 10 support please? Even though Dd started in Y9 I have already noticed a massive ramping up in pressure and her anxiety Sad I imagine it is a fine balance of being supportive but not a helicopter parent. How do you motivate but not nag? How do you encourage good study/revision skills without being overbearing? How can I help my Dd to be resilient....so many questions hoping for some hints, tips and support along the way.

Dd is Summer born so struggles sometimes. Her main loves are Music and the Humanities subjects. She bobs along with Maths and Science and despises French. Wants to be an international popstar, historian, writer, journo or judge! She sufffers terribly with low self esteem but hopefully this term will be able to get her on a course of cbt.

OP posts:
Comefromaway · 02/05/2019 12:29

I wish I had the answers oblomov. But having one very motivated high achiever and one incredibly bright but unmotivated low achiever there iseems to be little we can do other than offer support.

whistl · 02/05/2019 12:30

I am sorry to read that, Oblomov. Has there been a recent change in behaviour or is it a bit longer running and maybe just coming to a head now?
What happens when you ask him what he's doing?

whistl · 02/05/2019 12:32

As to doing bare minimum - ditto! I am not happy about it but I'm saving my energy for the 3 weeks before the end of year exams when DS2 will get a taste of what year 11 is going to be like.

Tumbleton · 02/05/2019 15:26

Sorry to hear that Oblomov
I think that for boys, Y10 is often the hardest year.

They are being pushed to work for exams which will affect their future, but they often don't yet have the maturity or cognitive development to look beyond the moment. Plus they are trying to establish their own identity and autonomy, which sometimes means questioning authority.

On average, girls go through puberty earlier and many seem to go through this phase in Y9.

Silverhill · 02/05/2019 15:35

DD is in the middle of a two week period of 'end of year' exams. For most subjects, they are doing just one GCSE paper on the material they have covered so far. The school sets up formal exam conditions to familiarise them with the process: candidate number, exam timetable, desks in rows in a hall, clear pencil case etc.

DD is coping OK so far. Some of the papers have been easier than she was expecting; others have been harder.

The part she is finding hardest is before and between exams, when everyone is chatting loudly about how nervous they are (or doing a post mortem on the exam just gone) while she is trying her best to stay calm, find inner peace and keep focused. In the actual GCSEs, she will hopefully be able to stay away from the crowds until it's time to line up.

Comefromaway · 02/05/2019 15:55

Sounds similar to what ds is doing Silverhill. One paper per subject. But he gets to do his exams in a separate room and I found out this week that once the first hour is over he canget up and have a walk around.

Silverhill · 02/05/2019 16:03

DD is OK with being in the large room for the exam itself, but coping with the noise and heightened emotions before lining up to go in is exhausting her before she has even started. I'm going to suggest she stays away for as long as possible before lining up time.

Comefromaway · 03/05/2019 14:58

Ds says he's smashed his English exam today. But what his version of smashing it is remains to be seen.

RomanyQueen1 · 03/05/2019 20:36

just a little light relief in the midst of chaos.
My dd came home tonight, doesn't always and told me about her day.
She didn't have any lessons except for practice, others had but she was one of a few in year that hadn't.
She went into Geography and hid behind a friends desk and answered questions for friend. She hasn't done any since y8 Grin

She then went into History, also stopped at y8 and joined in with class, it wasn't until she was walking out and teacher asked for her prep he realised she didn't do History, but was used to seeing her as is her form tutor.

ChristopherTracy · 05/05/2019 17:24

I must say I'm really quite down today about the whole end of year exams. DS is doing very little and the little he does I have to be on him about. The school have linekd us to the Edexcel site to get past papers but there seems to be lots of versions of the same iGcse and some are labelled just for indie schools which he isnt at.

I really want to just leave him to it and let him get shit marks again but you can't can you.

Villanellesproudmum · 05/05/2019 17:26

@Romany that’s actually quite bold and resourceful, she will go far ha!

Villanellesproudmum · 05/05/2019 17:29

@Chris that’s what my dd was like, I ended up losing my temper, removing her phone, sat down with her and wrote a time table and she had to provide evidence of her revision in order to receive her phone back.

With luck (in haste) just as the exams were approaching she pulled her finger out on her own and put the work in. When are the exams?

ChristopherTracy · 05/05/2019 17:32

The exams start the week after next. I know I am a shit parent but I just cant stand the fighting about it anymore. I coparent and my exhusband does nothing on his weekends so its all on me.

The annoying thing is that DS has pulled his finger out a bit at school recently after getting a really bad report but these exams are going to put us right back where we were.

He needs 7-9s to stay on for 6th form and an 8 in maths if he wants to take it. Ridiculous.

Villanellesproudmum · 05/05/2019 17:42

I can certainly understand the stress, I’m a single parent with by support, dd dad buggered off when she was born and not seen since and no family around. I’ve sat on my own and cried over it all. I had to tell myself it was two weeks of hell for long term reward.

Her exams finished two weeks ago and her exam results are coming in, she actually thanked and hugged me for being a pain and said she was so chuffed with her results (so far) that she understood why I lost my temper with her. We sat down and takes it through, suspect it’ll all happen again in year 11...

Keep going x

Villanellesproudmum · 05/05/2019 17:43

*talked it through

ChristopherTracy · 05/05/2019 18:08

thanks - will do and well done your dd Grin

whistl · 06/05/2019 09:05

ChristoperTracy could you sit with your DS and draw up a timetable. Put it somewhere prominent, like the fridge. You show when he could study, and he writes in when he will study. That way he's driving the process, rather than be dragged?

Also, each morning, ask him what is in the timetable for that day and what he hopes to have done by the end of the day. (Write it down secretly). Then when he's finished studying, ask him how it went and try to chat through each item as though it's just a conversation (not you sneaking a look at your notes). Hopefully it will make your son focus on his progress rather than just doing a count of the number of hours he sat at his desk -and stared into space-

ChristopherTracy · 06/05/2019 09:45

We can't do the timetable thing as he has to be in control of his own time or it sets him off. I do ask him what his plan is for the day and we agree what topics he will do. We then talk about it at dinner and sometimes he teaches something to the rest of us.

He just isnt doing enough and yes, there is a lot of staring into space.

He is very different to me - I made a whole plan and then wrote it all up on paper and properly revised.

Thanks all.

Comefromaway · 06/05/2019 09:55

This sounds so familiar Christopher.

I ask ds what revision he’s planning to do today and he says stop going on about it, you’re obsessed and shuts down.

I ask him what he’s done and he says I did some Seneca. I log on the parents bit and discover he’s done 10 minutes.

ChristopherTracy · 06/05/2019 10:09

Right, I'm going in. Once more unto the 15 year olds bedroom etc etc

RedSkyLastNight · 06/05/2019 10:25

I think you have to trust them to a certain degree Christopher. My DS snapped at me in the end and point out they were his exams and not mine. He has also done a lot less revision than I thought he should have (I suggested an hour a night thinking that was low but he said that was too much and is still doing too many nights of nothing) but more than he'd ever done before at least (sounds very like your DS). Those are ridiculous grades for getting into 6th form though, presumably it is a very academic school and he has options to go somewhere else if he doesn't meet those high targets? Realising that it's get good grades and stay where he is or get worse grades and move might give him some impetus? My DS was scared into doing (some) work by being told with a current working level of 3/4 taking the higher science papers was not going to happen. He wants to study science so has worked in those subjects at least (whilst doing next to nothing in others). I do think that year 10 exams also have to be seen as a practice, either for our DC to realise they have to pull their socks up or that what they are doing is about right.

Also found Tumbelton 's comment about maturity very inciteful, I think it's helpful to understand that this is a stage in their development ,rather than pig headedness!

ChristopherTracy · 06/05/2019 11:05

Yes, my anxiety about the whole thing is that I have been much more hands off than his school friends parents - they are doing hours per day.

He is one of the only pupils not being tutored for maths for example. It is a very academic school but I ddint want his teenage years to be so fixated on school work that we dont have a good relationship - what is the point, especially when you consider the affect on their mental health.

That being said he needs not to coast. He wants to do engineering probably or computer science so will need maths A-level and there arent many comps round our way that do computer science.

Comefromaway · 06/05/2019 11:29

Me - what’s your plan for today
Ds - bit if revision & chill
Me - have you planned what subjects? Don’t forget you have rehearsal tomorrow after school so you need to plan for that
Ds - dunno I’ll decide later.

An hour later he’s playing the piano

Me - have you decided what you’re doing today
Ds - bit of computer science
Me - when’s your physics exam (rearranged due to illness)
Ds - dunno
Me - you need to plan what topics you need to focus on
Ds - I’ll decide later

His target grades are Grade 6. (However he’s in top setmThs and last year was top of the top set so Grade 7 should be easily achievable. However at parents evening we were told he’s in danger of failing everything or just scraping a 4.

ChristopherTracy · 06/05/2019 11:34

We decided DS was going to do French today but he has just come up and said he is going to do Latin instead because one of his mates 'who is really good at French' is going to send all his notes over.

Facepalm.

whistl · 06/05/2019 11:39

At the end of the day, they are only the year 10 exams. If the worst comes to the worst, then there is still time to improve a lot in year 11 and no one will ever remember the year 10 results.
Not working in year 10 just makes the mountain to climb in year 11 that bit taller.

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